Suffering has been called intrinsic to human life. Now one can follow along with that, but it is crucial to ask why it is so. Have we inherently been leading lives that cause us suffering? Dwelling into oblivion as circumstances cause us to lose faith in all that once held meaning?
While it is easier to give in and believe that it is what is around us that has been causing us such misery, it is also the greatest foolishness. We fail ourselves the moment we let something that was not under our control in the first place, lead us into such darkness; such misery. That is where the depression of spirits comes from.
We yearn so greatly for a sense of power and control; but we most often seek it in incorrect manners. A person is only ever truly able to gain power over one thing, and that is power over their own mind; the greatest asset to their life. The times of melancholy come by fast, but our response towards it comes even faster. How must we respond to it then? The answer to this is simple, we must keep our composure. To be able to harness a significant amount of self-discipline in ourselves is to be free; free from emotions that weigh us down, disrupting our minds.
We as humans have developed into complex organisms over the centuries, our minds are more capable than ever; just like that, we have the capability to choose. It is a liberating factor; it is inseparable from us, thus making it a source of power.
Even in times of misery, the mental choices we make regarding what we feel towards it stays with us. What makes us not make such emotionally intelligent decisions is the sense of helplessness we feel when something uncomfortable happens and the delusion that ‘we cannot turn that around’ that comes along with it.
No one is at the mercy of their circumstances, neither are they at the mercy of their own emotions. Instead, we are meant to master our emotions; such that they do not cloud our judgement of circumstance but instead make it rational in the process.
Pablo Neruda has quoted that, “our sadness is formed out of our own sadness”; what he had implied was not that we cause miserable happenings around us, but that we have a tendency to bring out the worst of ourselves and lose our composure in times like these. It causes us recurring pain to not be emotionally intelligent. The absence of rationality in emotion only does more harm than good.
It is natural to feel pain, anger, joy, depression, ecstasy and a whole bunch of emotions; more over so it is beautiful to live an emotionally rich life. Yet it goes downhill when we cannot tell the difference between what to feel and when. The objective clearly is not to be harsh on ourselves, for that is not what we are supposed to do; what is important is to be able to feel but not let it intimidate you; to know what you are feeling as well as knowing why you are feeling it.
We are equipped with remarkable mental strength; we must be able to use it to our advantage. No use is a mind that you do not put to use in a logical manner.
Everything around us owes us nothing, even the people. Instead, it is only ourselves we owe the greatest loyalty to. No matter how the world changes, we are all we have got. While becoming entirely self serving is not the motive, deterring our very emotions at the sake of others is not it either. The path that lies in the middle of it, that is, to be able to choose and keep in check our emotions well at times when it gets hard to, makes us emotionally intelligent along with making life much more meaningful than it is now.
We are already continuously making choices to that shape our lives; this can work in our favor if choices are made in an intelligent manner.
We have spent a significant amount of time sinking deeper into melancholy; reason being we have not evaluated our emotions enough in the process. The why and how of our approach, to begin with, is important to understand ourselves. Secondly, we must accept the validity of our emotions and being to be true in the process of improvement. To conclude with, and this holds great meaning, it is required for us find subtle yet smarter ways to respond and work through situations that do not necessarily work out in our favor. It is alright to be hurt, but to choose to continue to be in that situation is where we often fail. So we must choose, but wisely, choose to feel pain when it comes along, evaluate it and work through it.
Life in itself is the constant process of changing and becoming; hence it is important to become who we believe we are meant to be, regardless of how melancholic it feels to be on the way of being that person.
So while suffering sure is intrinsic to human life, the perspective towards it can always change. There are several moments of misery in a life, but the wise one does not let it get to them. It is courageous and incredible on their part. One who masters the mind, masters it all.