A few weeks ago, Jacinda Ardern, the prime minister of New Zealand resigned by saying that she didn't have enough in the tank to go on. While some see it as a sign of weakness or exhaustion, it can also be argued that she was guided by emotional intelligence in her decision.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand our own emotions and that of others. In other words, it is self-awareness. It is responsible for our survival, guides the way we think, and helps us live a balanced life.
Our Survival:
We have a natural tendency to socialize with others of our kind and to try to understand what makes other people tick. Children from an early age show signs of such behavior when they act friendly towards strangers. This behavior also extends to other animals. In an experiment conducted at the University of Michigan's child lab, toddlers, aged between 20 and 47 months were paired with three child-friendly dogs. Researchers put toys and treat just beyond the dog's reach on the toddler's side of the fence that separated the two. When the dogs showed an interest in these items by whimpering or pawing after them, the children handed the items to the dogs. This was despite the fact that the children had never met the dogs before and there was less chance of the dogs returning the favor. According to the researchers, such behavior may have helped early humans survive and domesticate other animals from dogs and cats to cows, pigs, sheep, and horses.
In this context, a story found in the Shatapatha Brahmana comes to mind: One morning while performing his ablutions, Manu found a tiny fish in the water. The fish sought help from him saying that it feared being eaten by a larger fish. Manu agreed and took care of it till it grew big enough. Then he put it back in the ocean. The fish now reciprocated by telling him that a great flood was coming to destroy the world and suggested that Manu should build a big ship to save humankind. When the flood came, the fish took him and the surviving humans to safety.
Of course, like the toddlers, Manu couldn't tell if the fish will keep its promise. But being driven by the instinct for survival he helped the fish and ended up saving the world. Therefore, it can be said that emotional intelligence enabled humans to rise to the top of the animal kingdom and create civilizations around the world.
Guiding our thinking:
Daniel Goleman in his book emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ, argues that the root of altruism lies in empathy that is the ability to read emotions in others. If we turn the pages of history we see many examples of individuals who because of their ability to read emotions became enlightened. One of such individual was Sakya prince Gautama, better known as the Buddha. He was moved by death, misery, and human suffering. So moved was he by these problems that he left his royal palace, his family and set out on a path of self-discovery.
Self-discovery allowed Buddha to have wisdom. It said that the Magadhan king Ajatashatru wanted to conquer his neighboring kingdom of Vajji. But the Vajjian army was strong and defeated the Magadhan army many times in the battlefield. When the king heard about the Buddha, he sent one of his ministers to seek Buddha's council. Buddha is said to have said these words: 'As long as the people of Vajji are united no power can defeat them.' The minister returned to the king and the very next year Vajji was conquered.
The Brihadaranyka Upanishad captures this essence in the following words: You are what your deep driving desire is/ As your desire is, so is your will/ As your will is, so is your deed/ As your deed is, so is your destiny.
It was the destiny of another son of India to reach enlightenment and break the shackles which bound his people. That man was Gandhi, who found his people living in an atmosphere of fear. Like a Sun he purified the atmosphere and gave his people courage to shed their fear. To him awareness seemed like a mountain while fear was a storm. Just like a mountain never moves in the face of a storm, he too held his ground against the fear which had shacked the minds and hearts of his countrymen. This simple insight shaped the way he thought and was the key to his enlightenment.
Before the coming of Gandhi, the Indian political scene was dominated by the moderates and extremists. In addition, the revolutionary terrorists of Bengal chose the path of violence. None of them gained anything from their chosen path. In this world, Gandhi through the path of non-violence showed that there existed a middle path.
While he was uncompromising in his ideals, he never lose the sight of what mattered most, that is empathy. He suspended non-cooperation movements and civil disobedience movements when people took to violence. Moreover, when the British authorities put the condition of releasing only those political prisoners who didn't resort to violence, and thus sealing the fates of Bhagat Singh and his companions, he agreed. This was despite his followers having expressed their disagreement. Shashi Tharoor is of the opinion that this ability to agree on disagreement allowed the freedom struggle to go on smoothly and that this is the beauty of the Indian story.
That the Indian people had limited ability to make sacrifices and could not be asked to go on indefinitely was well understood by Gandhi. His wisdom guided every Indian be it men or women who took to the streets protesting injustice and tyranny. When he gave the motto of 'Do or die' to his people he understood that it was time for India to gain her Independence and that the people were ready to take on their colonial tyrants. His insight into the human soul helped heal the newly established Indian republic in the dark days of partition. Self awareness gave him courage to take on a bullet head on and show no fear. His courage became the courage of the nation and the strength of his will and character guides us till this day. Indeed, the ability to empathize with others help guide our thinking process.
A balanced life:
Emotional intelligence is the key to living a balanced life. A balanced life means being flexible in facing odds. For example, Sania Mirza who broke social norms set by the patriarchy is seen by some people as rebel. She dared to do things her own way. However, in the tennis court, she was neither the fastest nor the most agile player. What she had was her determination which showed itself everytime she hit the ball. When a wrist injury forced her to switch to mixed doubles she did lose any sleep over it. She ended up winning three Grand slam titles in that category. In her own words she was not trying to beat the odds against her, she was just living her life. Thus, he self awareness allowed her to even the odds.
Coming back to Jacinda Ardern, her prime ministership was known for her sensitivity, empathy and concern for vulnerable minorities. Having handled the pandemic successfully, she was expected to seek another term. But she could read the signs and knew that it was time for her to throw the towel. In sum, self-awareness is the key to human survival, guides our thinking and brings balance to our lives.