Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

Our patriarchal society fails to realize that women are leaving their own house and parents for making someone’s family happy so they should be given respect and love and care, and not to be oppressed.

So where is the fault of the women? Women are not born to be abused and tortured and dominated by in-laws. So the men’s family should understand the reality. The society has seen women as instruments for dominating. They have always found fault with the temperament of the patriarchal society's system. Both men and women must have liberty freedom and financial independence. Both must stand by each other independently.

But our society being a male-dominated society, the men and their patriarchy should change not the economic independence of the women. Nor should the women be dependent on the males only, to suffer and digest the abusive male family and be subjugated unconditionally forever under their feet until death; simply because she has no economic independence and nowhere to go! Unfortunately, most of the husbands have partial views and no proper compassionate knowledge (understanding) or true unbiased justification about their partner. So the failure in a relationship starts around this issue of misunderstanding and miscommunication between the two partners.

Constant fights between couples both physical and verbal, pointing fingers at one another, severe irritation or irritability, nagging about trifle issues or concerns, fanning false expectations, rapid boredom, and getting sick and tired about unnecessary and both intentional/non-intentional misunderstandings and miscommunications, unrealistic blame games, not being able to meet each other's expectations are causing drift in establishing a good life long relationship. Other than the initial sexual intimacy, marriages, and/or closer relationships have been turning sour rapidly among our contemporary generations. The honeymoon period is over too soon; lassoing into constant unjustified fights, competitions, nagging, domestic violence, marital rape, and other serious issues pushing towards a formal divorce or separation. Often the pressure of raising the children and not sharing responsibilities properly is also making the life of couples quite miserable.

Our society is rapidly changing and becoming more complicated. Previously men used to dominate women both physically, emotionally, and economically. They had the liberty to abuse helpless women and use them in the way they wish only. But following World War II, the global economies have started undergoing changes in both hemispheres; in both developed as well as developing and underdeveloped nations, and India is not immune to such changes. Equal opportunities are now being channeled to both sexes at least in the upper strata of the society. Educated couples have strayed by having less and less children; and they are ready to provide the best for their kids, irrespective of boy or girl. Previously only the maid child used to get the best education. But today women are highly educated and qualified, economically independent; and they are not ready to take abuse. So the fight started in the society where women could not be deprived or abused easily so families are falling apart, as it was always the women who took the burnt and held together the families. It is not correct to conclude that since women are oppressed so the problem is not really with them. But, economic independence has provided them with opportunities, power, and status in the society. Not every woman is impressed and not every one of the women is nice, unbiased, and justified either. Divorce and separation are sharply increasing across the globe due to the failure in holding relationships between both by men and women in developed as well as developing countries. Many unhappy people and couples stay with one another under one roof under societal pressure or for bringing up their kids. They really do not have any physical, emotional, or psychological connection with one another anymore; but, they are doing it for the purpose of the long-term future of their kids. Hence, the number of broken families is much higher in both developing countries than that is registered in government statistics. There are many more among us who are not happy with one another, and are just sharing the roof, but not the relationship anymore.

A new kind of philosophy has been taking shape out of this failure in relationships regarding the building of a family, the very basic structure of our society across the planet. A group of people feels that kids are selfish now. Wasting life for them is simply a waste of time and resources. Children when growing up as adults neither care nor respect their parents, so they feel why should one take the burden of giving birth and raising the child to adulthood; since ultimately your gain is zero in exchange for the pains you endure in life for raising them. You came alone to this world and would leave alone when the time comes, so why add others to your journey in life? Be happy and peaceful on your own. Do not have a family to avoid socio-cultural and financial complications and suffering due to false or unjustified expectations. Enjoy living alone away from society if you can afford or be by yourself even when you are in the society, enjoy life and perish one day in peace without any expectation from anyone. Yet, others feel that this is a very selfish, self-centred philosophy or view of life. We should realistically curb our unjustified expectations from our next generations. Let your children come to the world. Let them live for themselves. Let them be selfish. Do not expect anything from them. But you will live through them. This is a responsibility towards your family and society. Enjoy life in full surrounded by your family, friends, and neighbours all living together in harmony. 

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