Exploration, the word that once terrified me. The idea of exploring used to make me anxious, send chills through my spine. The fear of getting lost and never finding my way back just to satisfy the idea of exploring haunted me. I couldn’t bring myself to take up the risk and set out to explore for what if the destination that I would reach would not align with my liking. There was a part of me that was excited and believed that my journey and my destination will be wonderful. Rather that part of me was submissive for the scared part of me dominated the latter.
What did want to explore? I wanted to explore the world, the waters that appeared blue but was not really and the world that lies underneath the mysterious appearing blue surface. I wanted to explore the ruins of the once majestic civilizations and the creations of the wonderful rulers whose stories are the only thing heard and known. I wanted to explore why different languages were spoken, why one race ate pork while the other did not, why one country danced on the day to celebrate the freedom that they once got in the past while the other country grieved for the losses that they had to bear when their sons and daughters were martyred. I wanted to explore the beautiful snow-capped mountains that stood tall, the graceful yet mysterious oceans, the beauty of the greenery and pink and orange flowers complimenting each other and the birds that soared through the sky looking down on the magnificent view that only they were blessed to enjoy.
Mostly, I wanted to explore what lied within me. Within the body where my soul resided. I wanted to explore what I really wanted. What I really desired. What part of me was more dominant. Was it kindness, was it the confidence, was it ego or was it my will power. I wanted to know what actually lied within me. What do I want to do in life? Was it happiness I craved for or was it success for achieving both would be a challenge. Was I willing and prepared to take up this challenge or was the inner me scared to do so. What do I aspire to become? Was it a successful person who is doing financially well or was it someone who is doing what she loves.
How far was I willing to take a chance or sacrificing things to achieve what I want. Was I willing to live an easier and mediocre life or was I willing to take risks and live a life of happiness and thrills but also full of challenges. The questions that I once ran away from were the same ones that I came across today . today, I did not ignore them but I faced them looking for answers.
The answer was to explore.
As I explored the inner me, I came across the qualities that I never knew that I possessed, qualities that were keen on coming out, showing itself and to become a part of me. As I explored what lied outside, I was fascinated. The contrast that lied within one race, the differences which lied behind the same species, the difference that united us. I explored the mountains and the blue-appearing waters that we worship and also the same that have the ability to destroy us. As I explored, the roads were full of potholes and slippery muds but the destination was always overwhelming. The journey itself was promising but the destination was what I had my eyes on.
As I continued through the path, I explored the world, my curiosity being a catalyst but what I was more keen on was to explore the soul within me