To say that the Delhi Metro is the lifeline of the city or the like, would be a gross understatement. But having said that, if life has taught us one thing, it is that whether a statement if over or under or bally anywhere it may like, if it manages to convey the meaning, its purpose in life is well-nigh fulfilled, which is more than most of us can lay claim to. And in that respect, our first statement well obliges.
Moving on, the Delhi Metro boasts of one of the largest networks of its type in the world already, yet the expansion continues unabated (on cheap credit from our Japanese friends). Be that as it may, in this teeny-tiny essay, we shall delve deeper into the very psyche of the Delhi Metro and its passengers and not its numerical and architectural marvels, which also we might tangentially touch upon simply because nothing stops us from doing so.
First things first, the entry. The entry is a peculiar thing in the sense that it's an essential precursor of exit, which holds true for the Delhi Metro as it does for life (in which case, we generally utilise a synonym – ‘death’). Each metro station has multiple entries, sometimes reaching almost double digits – Rajiv Chowk has 8 to the best of my knowledge, while no man alive has been able to fathom the number for the epic, multi-multi-storeyed Kashmere Gate. All of these entries of all of these stations are managed and handled and controlled by the CISF folks, whose postings change daily lest there be any claims of monotony in the job. And they do a mighty fine job at it as well, scanning bags and men and women and LGBTQ+ and relieving people of their lighters among other things.
Once past them, all that stands between you and the metro are the automated gates, stairs, or the elevator, first timers having pan masalas with no place to spit and thus much aggrieved, aunties who make sure elevators do just as they are named and not used as stairs and excited kids still not completely comfortable climbing onto the elevator. Commitment to one’s purpose and a bit of self-belief will see you through.
As you climb on the metro (after ‘allowing passengers to alight first’) is where the actual psychological game begins. During peak time, to say that seats are a luxury would be a gross understatement, there are stories galore of people having spent years traversing the city without having sat, shat yes, sat no. However, just like all other problems of the type, like putting toothpaste back into the tube, this one also has no solution, but only tips and trials. For one, whilst aboard the Delhi metro, I would consider it prudent to follow the advice of the Delhi Police – apne naak, kaan aur aankh hamesha khuli rakhein, keep your nose, ears and eyes always open, for it is the minutest of details which play a huge role in shaping the future of your journey – for e.g – while just near the gate may seem like a great corner to be in, shielding you from the peeping toms and giving you as much of a sense of privacy as is possible in a public setting, it severely limits your chance of getting that elusive seat, as it is in violation of maximization of space principle – one must choose such a place to stand as to enable the maximum number of seats to be a direct approach at a maximum of two and a half steps. Once in position, next step is to scan the audience for a possible jittery, anxious being in human form, who’s looking at the station chart too much or checking the zips on his bag or simply taking off his/her/their headphones, the likes of which once located must serve to further fine tune one’s position to incorporate the same. Secondly, one must also be on the lookout for the apocalypse Uncle, who would be seated as in Nirvana till the time the door opens, whereupon he utilises the opportunity to practice the upcoming apocalypse drill and rushes out single-mindedly inconveniencing innocent and confused-looking couples.
As a general rule, 98.2% of the passengers are on their phone, 70.9% have their headphones on as well, with well over half simply scrolling, rest on games/music/Netflix and other apps (all these numbers are quoted from personal experiments performed by yours truly, and are valid upto 3 places of decimal). These specimens offer no chances of interaction, lest you be informing them that their fly is open, in which case they are rather gaily receptive and may even utter a ‘Thank You’. All the entertainers fall in the left over 1.8% - uncles pretending to be asleep after grabbing Ladies’ seat, daydreamers staring at the roofs, hungover students and those who stare out into nothingness pondering the state of their lives, and stealing glances at women.
Talking of women seems an apt occasion to touch upon the topic of some peculiarities and virtues of the Delhi metro, it is worth noting that during morning rush hours on the Yellow Line, heading towards North Campus of the Delhi University, the last two coaches are eerily empty as the second coach becomes the preferred location for all boys, which is only partially explained by the fact that the first coach is reserved for Ladies. It is on the intersection of these two coaches, that flirting and giggling, and other verbs of the type may be seen in action, embodying the virtues of youthfulness and tolerance, the latter being ensured by steady presence of CISF folks on all stations.
Another virtue professed by the Delhi Metro in no less magnanimous terms is Equality. Just as in the French constitution (egalite), Equality is a right enshrined in the Indian Constitution too, whilst the news would have you believing otherwise, a visit to the Delhi Metro would relieve all doubt relating to the matter. Young Start-up CEOs often use Metro as the funding dries up while CEOs of big companies do it as a PR exercise, young men wearing Adidas shoes sit/stand right next to dudes wearing ‘Abidas’ drinking Brisleri water. Women sit with girls, and men of law rub their asses with men of crime, stock markets are discussed alongside prices of onions, there are Watchers and Doers and Starers and Thinkers and all in between.
Further on the road of DRMC idiosyncrasies, we must talk of certain stations which represent the modern VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world, where what might hit you, both in literal and metaphorical terms, cannot be fathomed. New Delhi station, right next to New Delhi Railway Station embodies and represents all such stations – a family with number of members ranging anywhere from 2 to 20 may enter through the hallowed doors, with anywhere between 0 to 18 children, carrying 450 bags and other accompaniments. These people believe in making their own luck with ‘Seat No Bar’ mentality, for they make their own seats wherever they feel like, with various options for incline, all the way upto 180 degrees, whereupon some people refer to it as bed. Their suitcases leave no doubt as to whether time travel is possible, their voices amply display the possible range of vocal cords of Homo Sapiens, their sheer energy is infectious – handling 2 children in each hand, with more than a handful in tow. Such are the stations that make up the Delhi metro, and there are many.
Another thing that life has taught me, is that What To list is of no use without a What Not To list. In that spirit - among the things not allowed in the Delhi metro apart from lighters, are drunken men – an attempt at a journey in an inebriated state, states the law, may invite a penalty of ₹250 or incarceration of upto 2 years, a rather extreme set of options, a most appropriate definition of Hobson’s Choice if ever there was one. Nor is one allowed to carry alcohol, however, the CISF officials, being of a jovial nature do allow you to go outside and have whatever it was that you intended to carry, after which it might be a prudent idea to make the entry from another gate, owing to the drunken rules alluded to previously.
If I may, I would like to finish with an imploration – majorly to the 98.2% mobile screen gazers – and a simple one at that – there is an entire world out there, in the Delhi Metro, if you would just follow the advice of the Delhi Police, there is entertainment galore from all directions, it is an intersection of people from all walks of life, feeling all the possible emotions, experiencing all the different feelings and saying all this would be a gross understatement, but what of it, you know now how understatements go.