When my daughter came into this world, it felt like the universe had conspired to gift me the most precious joy imaginable. After having a son, the arrival of a daughter completed my understanding of motherhood, each experience uniquely beautiful yet laden with its own set of challenges and triumphs. Little did I know, life had a grander plan in store for us, one that would test the depths of my love and resilience in ways I could never have imagined.

At just eight weeks old, my daughter was diagnosed with brain atrophy and I was told she will have special needs. And thus began a journey of advocacy, determination, and unconditional love that has spanned nearly three decades. While most daughters transition from needing a mother to desiring a friend by the time they reach 29, for my daughter, the need for maternal guidance and support remains unwavering.

Despite my efforts to encourage her independence, the reality is that she lacks the cognitive ability to make major life decisions or fully comprehend the complexities of the world around her. As her mother, I've shouldered the responsibility of guiding her through life's maze, making choices on her behalf that will shape her future.

One such choice presented itself when she reached puberty at the tender age of 10 years and 6 months. Concerns arose about her ability to manage menstrual cycles alongside existing bladder control issues. The societal pressure to opt for a hysterectomy, a procedure to remove her womb, loomed heavily. Yet, as I gazed upon my daughter's innocent face, devoid of understanding about what was being proposed, I was overcome with anguish. How could I, in good conscience, make such a monumental decision on her behalf without her comprehension or consent?

In my conversations with other parents, I discovered a disturbing trend: many had opted for hysterectomy for their daughters, some as young as 11 years old. The doctor I consulted confirmed this practice, but it left me questioning: did these parents truly understand the implications for their daughters' bodies, or were they simply following societal expectations without considering the long-term effects?

Amidst the stormy seas of adversity, the unwavering beacon of a mother's love shines brightest. Through the darkest of nights and the fiercest of tempests, she remains steadfast in her commitment to nurturing, protecting, and uplifting her child. Yet sometimes, the burden becomes too much for her. One mother confessed to me, she feared an unwanted pregnancy as well if something would go wrong for her daughter. Lot of issues had forced these mothers to go ahead with the choice of hysterectomies for their daughter’s with special needs.

In the face of daunting challenges and unimaginable hardships, I have stood firm in my resolve to provide my daughter with the love, care, and support she needs to thrive. From the moment she came into this world, I knew that my journey as a mother would be different, marked by hurdles that demanded unwavering determination and boundless love. I decided that I would teach her to manage herself, even during her periods, no matter how long it took for me to do it.

As she embarked on the tumultuous journey of adolescence, navigating the treacherous waters of puberty and womanhood, I stood by her side, offering guidance, comfort, and reassurance. Through her fears and uncertainties, I remained her rock, steadfast in my commitment to helping her navigate this complex terrain with grace and dignity.

With each passing day, my daughter grew stronger, gaining control over her bodily functions and mastering the art of self-care. Despite the sceptics and naysayers who urged me to take the easy way out, I refused to give in to despair. Instead, I chose to believe in my daughter's resilience, knowing that with love and support, she could overcome any obstacle in her path.

She could not walk even with support until she was nearing 5 years. When faced with the suggestion of placing her in a wheelchair following my mastectomy, I knew deep down that this was not the path we were meant to take. Despite the challenges and hardships that lay ahead, I resolved to continue carrying her, both literally and figuratively, until she was ready to walk on her own two feet.

And walk she did. With each tentative step, she defied the odds and proved to the world that she was capable of achieving the impossible. Today, she is able to manage everyday activities walking with little support, which is a testament to the power of love, determination, and unwavering resilience. When we are travelling or exploring new places which require long walks, we take breaks or opt for wheelchairs.

The question of marriage is one that weighs heavily on the hearts of many parents, envisioning a future of happiness and companionship for their children. Yet, for my daughter, the concept of marriage is shrouded in mystery, a realm of human interaction she cannot comprehend.

As she navigates the complexities of life with special needs, the idea of intimacy between a man and a woman remains foreign to her. Despite society's expectations and the well-meaning inquiries of friends and family, she has shown no interest or desire in romantic relationships.

For some, this may be cause for concern or disappointment. Yet, for me, it is simply another aspect of her unique journey, a path that diverges from the expectations of society but is no less valid or meaningful.

Instead of dwelling on what she may be missing out on, I choose to celebrate the richness and beauty of her life as it is. Filled with love, laughter, and the unwavering support of family and friends, her world may not conform to conventional norms, but it is one filled with boundless joy and endless possibilities.

In the end, the question of marriage fades into insignificance, overshadowed by the love and acceptance that surround her every day. For whether or not she walks down the aisle, her life is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and the unbreakable bonds of family. And in that, there is beauty beyond measure.

As I reflect on the choices I've made along this tumultuous journey, I can't help but feel a sense of pride and satisfaction. Despite the doubts and uncertainties that plagued me at every turn, I know in my heart that I made the right choices for my daughter. And while the road ahead may be fraught with challenges, I am confident that with love as our compass, we will continue to navigate the stormy seas of life together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

Yet, the weight of decision-making remains a heavy burden, fraught with uncertainty and the constant fear of making the wrong choice.

Who will question me if I err? Who will ensure that my daughter's rights are upheld and her voice heard? These are the questions that keep me awake at night, haunting me with the specter of doubt and the fear of inadequacy.

But amidst the uncertainty, there is hope. Hope that one day, someone will step forward to challenge me, to hold me accountable for the choices I've made. For in that moment of reckoning, I will know that my daughter is truly cared for, that her voice matters, and that her rights are worth fighting for.

In the end, my journey as a mother to a daughter with special needs is not just about making the right choices, but about fostering a society where every individual, regardless of their intellectual capacity, is valued, respected, and given the opportunity to thrive. And until that day comes, I will continue to advocate, to fight, and to love with every fiber of my being, for she is not just my daughter, but the embodiment of hope, resilience, and unwavering love.

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