A Mother's Impact

In a world where we're constantly bombarded with messages telling us we're not enough, it's easy to lose sight of our worth and value. But what if we understand that the key to unlocking true happiness, confidence, and fulfillment in us and our children and as a mother is self-love that comes with acceptance and healing? Parenting has undergone significant changes over the generations, with a growing recognition of the importance of emotional support, communication, and addressing generational trauma.

In the initial phase as a new mother, it is essential to understand the emotional, physical, and mental needs of the mother as a family or caregiver so that motherhood appears like a journey of growth, integrity, healing, and social responsibility of raising the kids well.

Parenting has undergone significant changes over the generations, with a growing recognition of the importance of emotional support, communication, and addressing trauma. It is important to get to the base to understand what it takes to be a mother in parenting.

Traditional Parenting (Pre-1950s)

• Authoritarian approach: strict rules, punishment, and obedience
• Emotional suppression: feelings were often dismissed or ignored
• Trauma: unaddressed, unseen, or attributed to personal weakness
• Focus: survival, discipline, and social conformity

Mid-20th Century (1950s-1980s)

• Shift towards permissiveness: more emotional expression, but still limited
• Emergence of attachment theory: recognizing the importance of early relationships
• Trauma: beginning to be acknowledged, but often stigmatized or minimized
• Focus: socialization, education, and emotional regulation

Modern Parenting (1990s-present)

• Emphasis on emotional intelligence: validating feelings, empathy, and self-awareness
• Recognition of trauma's impact: acknowledging intergenerational trauma and seeking support
• Focus on nurturing, communication, and emotional safety
• Growing awareness of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and their effects

Being in the era where parenting norms and standards come with acceptance and self-love, it is inevitable to understand the myth about the existence of perfect motherhood. It is time we celebrate the uniqueness of each one as a mother and children. Being a mother itself gives us the best chance to evolve if we allow the phase to change us with integrity. The challenges as a parent are countless based on the growth of the child but yet it is a growth for the parent as well. As a woman, we often grow with knowing the family management but emotional handling happens by observation of the environment as a growing kid, which children are powerless to control.

Some studies report the below challenges in the initial stages of motherhood,

1. Postpartum depression: Affects approximately 15-20% of new mothers worldwide (WHO, 2019).
2. Maternal mental health: A UK survey found 70% of mothers experienced mental health issues during pregnancy or postpartum (NCT, 2020).
3. Physical health concerns: A US study revealed that 40% of mothers reported significant physical health problems during the postpartum period (AHRQ, 2019).
4. Chronic illness and motherhood: Research suggests 75% of mothers with chronic illnesses experience increased stress and anxiety (JAMA, 2018).
5. Unmet healthcare needs: A global survey found 50% of mothers reported unmet healthcare needs during the postpartum period (WHO, 2019).

Rather than calling motherhood a sacrifice it is important to handle it like a play with joy and integrity in aspects of good health, mental, financial, and spiritual wellbeing. The desire to give the best in any given moment is what makes motherhood super special. A mother cannot stand to see any harm happening to her family or children in any form. A woman is often found engaged in one of the below activities that become her core subconsciously.

1. Household Management and Child Development,
2. The physical Self that needs proper care and support with growing age.
3. A Career that demands constant learning and growth.
4. A Healthy Partner and Child Relationship,
5. Living with purpose and our unique spiritual significance.

But in the journey to give the best, the first thing that she keeps aside is self-love and care. Though it sounds easy many times, to accept oneself as they are overcoming the past references of not being enough told a million times in various ways based on the individual’s childhood experiences, and imperfections for which he/she is taunted or felt bad needs a systematic approach and infinite process. Have you felt that we reacted the way we were reacted for our flaws as a child? So infinite acceptance which also includes the understanding that our parents did the best they could is essential to think about parenting with self-love.

Often motherhood requires shedding old beliefs, unlearning, and also letting of the identity created so with beliefs that no longer give the best result out of us. When as a parent we establish a strong self-love routine, the child learns to develop a healthy boundary.

And when it comes to Self-love, it is more than just a buzzword; it's a mindset shift that allows you to embrace your true self, flaws, and all. It's about recognizing your inherent worth, accepting your imperfections, and treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding.

Enter self-love, acceptance, and care – the revolutionary practices that will transform your life from the inside out.

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is the tangible expression of self-love. It's the intentional acts that nourish your mind, body, and soul. By prioritizing self-care, you're telling yourself that you matter, that your well-being is essential, and that you deserve to feel good.

Answering or journaling your thoughts as a mother focusing on the below questions can help you in the journey to improve self-love and acceptance as a mother.

1. What are my strengths and accomplishments that I'm proud of?

Reflecting on your positive qualities and achievements helps to boost self-confidence and self-worth.

2. What are some negative self-thoughts that I can challenge and reframe?

Identifying and reframing negative self-talk can help you cultivate a more compassionate and supportive inner voice.

3. What self-care practices make me feel nourished and fulfilled?

Exploring activities that bring you joy and relaxation can help you prioritize self-care and make it a regular part of your routine. Walking, exercising with a community of friends, yoga and deep relaxation can give great joy amidst the responsibilities to give our best self to the world around us.

4. What are some things I can forgive myself for, and let go of self-criticism?

Practicing self-forgiveness and releasing self-criticism can help you develop a gentler and understanding relationship with yourself.

5. What would I say to a friend in my situation, and how can I offer that same kindness to myself?

Treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a friend can help you cultivate a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself.

Remember, self-love is a journey, and asking yourself these questions regularly can help you grow and deepen your self-love practice.

The Benefits of Self-Love and Care

• Increased confidence: When you love yourself, you exude self-assurance.
• Improved mental health: Self-love and care reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
• Better relationships: When you love yourself, you attract healthier, more positive relationships.
• Increased resilience: Self-love and care help you bounce back from life's challenges.
• Unshakeable happiness: By loving yourself, you unlock a deep sense of fulfillment and joy.
• Discipline that Holds Your Back: By self-love, we establish a discipline that gives us intentional joy in any activity we do.This slowly creates a discipline that keeps us healthy. For example, a fruit based fasting day per week, healthy meal planning, fitness routines, etc. apart from your household and career can help a lot.

Here are some daily practices to cultivate self-love:

1. Morning affirmations: Start your day with positive affirmations, such as "I am enough to be the best mom" "I am worthy," or "I love myself for the mom I am becoming"
2. Self-care rituals: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, like meditation, yoga, or reading.
3. Gratitude journaling: Write down three things you appreciate about yourself and motherhood each day.
4. Self-compassion exercises: Practice kindness and understanding towards yourself, just as you would towards a friend. Do not eclipse yourself to be a bad mother in incidents when your patience is not so perfect, it is ok. Embrace the flaws and scope of getting better at handling them.
5. Self-forgiveness: Let go of self-criticism and forgive yourself for past mistakes.
6. Mindful self-reflection: Take time to understand your thoughts, emotions, and desires.
7. Self-care routines: Prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation, like taking a warm bath or listening to music.
8. Boundary setting: Learn to say "no" to ever-demanding needs and prioritize your own needs and inner peace.
9. Self-care check-ins: Regularly ask yourself, "What do I need right now to feel loved and cared for?"

Conclusion

Motherhood is a journey of love, sacrifice, and growth. While caring for others is a vital part of mothering, it's equally important to prioritize your own well-being. By embracing self-care, you're not only nourishing your mind, body, and soul, but also becoming a more patient, present, and empowered mother. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish – it's essential. So, take that first step today, and discover the transformative power of self-care in motherhood. You deserve it, and so do your loved ones.

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