There are Monday afternoon blues in the months of my life, that have me thinking about such subjects as is the one of "What of the rest?"

What happens when we leave a life undocumented that held such complexity and depth that it could have been an inspiration, an unremovable mark on someone, the unforgettable lesson for someone? What of that movie that's been left neglected despite the efforts put in it? Could it have meant something for the masses or even a small community? Did you check that row of hydrangeas and blooming orchids as you were passing by today? What if they had bloomed so beautifully and to the peak of their beauty only for today? What if something as repetitive yet transient as nature had them bloomed like that only for today? Isn't it fascinating, how much architecture has evolved and yet people many times wonder while staring at the medieval gothic architecture, the potential it had and what other monuments that have been lost to time, had the same style? Were there writers in languages of ancient times who wrote in different sub-genres that have been lost in time? Like I wonder, whether the dialects and ancient languages of Asia, which are no longer in use, ever had those kinds of writers who wrote in dark comedy and sarcasm. (Though if there are, forgive my ignorance, I only have so many years of my life to live, make a living and enjoy. I didn't research enough.)

But if one takes into consideration how vast the lives of each human being on the planet are... what were, all the beautiful,phantasmogorically magical, things we missed in human beings around us?? I guess I am just plagued with the innate need to know everything and anything. What was happening in history, in the lives of those people who weren't documented? Those who come in the category of et cetera?? What about the art of those people that wasn't taken into account??

Thus the never-ending train of thought in such matters runs the course of those hours where I see someone or something which causes me to slink into this part of my brain of what-ifs and has-beens where I go around asking questions that leave me spiralling into possibilities that would even leave statistics of my mathematics class speechless.

I have so often felt this need to keep things alive. Collecting card tags and scraps of paper as if I am on a mission to do a recycling journal where I paste them all together and keep those little moments alive by the desperate act of preserving them. To preserve my memory. So maybe someday, someone will see and witness it. So maybe with time, I may not be categorised in the enigmatic, unexplainable et cetera of demographic by future population. But such an arrangement of the alphabet is not just limited to the materialism of life, is it? Sometimes, it's added to extend the conversation or even to restrict the conversation. Sometimes, the words are emphasized on, to let the other person know of the heavy implication. That there are a whole load of lists hiding under. Though personally, I add it when I have run out of things to say. The thought of it in conversations draws out the interesting and mysterious possibility of all that which remains unsaid. But isn't it human nature, at this point, even though it idealistically shouldn't be, that we all suppress the words that are the heaviest under the inhuman weight of our own reluctance caused by various, differing, and sometimes understandable factors?? I was taught that's how artists are born by the way. When there's no one to listen, no language which best describes the true feelings inside our heart and mind, different...sometimes audible, sometimes inaudible mediums are used to express the sheer depth of feelings. Because a person simply can't cut through their chest, rip their heart out and show it to people saying - 'Look! This is how deep of a crack you made in me! Look! This is the depth your actions and words touched me!'.

It would be considered grotesque and weird in our 'proper' society. Let's just add suicidal too, both in a literal and figurative sense. People, being people, will always take the wrongful advantage of showing such vulnerability.

Which brings me to - oh. My mind just buzzes around like a bee drunk on nectar from one flower to another when such discussions come up.

But what I mean is, in the end, it might not be unproductive for people to go into detail of things which they read etc. at the end of. It might be just worth it. It may bring you some quirky and unusual experiences that you might want to preserve for life. It may bring you interesting knowledge. It may also bring you a sense of pride and fulfilment in yourself for having pursued the meaning of why someone may have put it at the end of their examples but that may be just me who feels that way.

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