INTRODUCTION:

“19-year-old TN boy dies by suicide after failing NEET twice, father kills himself”

The above lines are the heartbreaking headlines that shook the whole nation in recent times. This is not the first time we have heard of an incident like this. A lot happened and is still happening today. Every student is a future pillar of the nation! The loss of this boy is a loss to the country, a loss to the world! The news report states that the boy was frustrated due to repetitive failure in NEET which made him do the unthinkable. It also states that he was getting ready to join the coaching center to appear for the third attempt but amidst all these, he ended his life…As a student myself; I can understand what he must have gone through!

It’s easy to say,

“Failure is the stepping stone to success”,

But a student, a person who has worked hard day and night, sacrificed a lot of things just for an exam knows the cost of a failure! The inability to accept and handle failures leads to making miserable decisions like ending one’s own life! Let’s contemplate more on this.

WHAT'S THE CAUSE?

Academic pressure, stress, peer pressure, unable to fulfill the high expectations of parents, being scared of the future, not being able to do better, constant failures, and all of this together become intolerable for a student which leaves them with nothing but depression which eventually gives them suicidal thoughts. Some overcome them while some fall prey.

• Starting from statistics:

Statistics show that more than 35 students end their lives every day in India which sounds terrible! The major reason is due to “failure in examination”. These cases rise during the arrival of results of classes 10, 11, and 12 or when the results of various entrance examinations are published. The suicide rates of students have also increased in many premier colleges! Suicide accounts for the fourth leading cause of death amongst the youth which is an alarming issue in the country.

• Fear to face:

Yes! The fear that leaves the students frightened! The fear of facing the results, fear of facing the future, fear of facing parents, and majorly fear of facing society are other major causes for all this. Overcoming fears and failures is mandatory which many students fail to implement.

• Living in loneliness:

Preparing for various exams, boards, and a lot more! Sometimes students are all alone locking themselves in a room with books, trying harder every time. They forget themselves, their health, sleep, etc. Some of them cannot express their feelings outside, even to their parents which makes them lonely. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to express themselves but it’s just that they cannot, they are not able to…

• Mistakes of parents and society:

Every student is unique, and gifted with a special talent. But many parents fail to understand that. Just because a neighbor’s son or daughter wants to become a doctor, doesn’t mean they have to make their children do the same. If a child wants to excel in sports, it’s their gift, their talent! They have the right to pursue what they are good at and what they like. Our society needs more awareness. We shouldn’t look down on someone for a reason like they didn’t clear the exam or scored fewer marks. We need to know that every student is precious.

• Comparison kills:

“I never asked that one how much your son scored and how much my son scored and compared. Don’t do that. Every flower is beautiful. You can’t say Rose is better and Hibiscus is not. Hibiscus has its own property, own color, and own volume and it looks different. Every child is a flower by himself or herself. Do not compare”- Sudha Murthy

The above golden lines were told by Mrs.Sudha Murthy in a speech while addressing the parents. Every word she told is significant because she summarizes that comparison is worse and why it is bad in a few lines! There is a lot of difference between competition and comparison. We live in a competitive world, for everything we have exams, and competition is required but comparison is not. When students become competitive, they want to try harder, work harder and get motivated whereas when they are compared to a neighbor’s kid or a classmate or maybe a relative’s kid, or even their siblings, they get demotivated because they might be good at drawing while their brothers or sisters must be good at writing. The student who is good at drawing cannot be forced to write and vice versa. It's high time parents and society understand the defects of comparison and act with compassion towards their children.

HELPING HAND:

Sometimes all that students require is a helping hand when they feel it is all too much. Parents, friends, and even teachers have a great role in encouraging and offering help to them.

• From the parent’s side:

Parents are the best friends whom God has gifted every child. But parents take time to realize that and before they realize it’s too late. As kids grow up, parents must become their friends rather than just being strict. Being strict is necessary but being friendly is also required which makes the students feel free and not scared to tell you about the stuff going around them. Parents have work at the office; handle the household etc., but this shouldn’t stop them from making time for their kids and talking to them because a heartfelt conversation can make a great impact in changing the thought of a student. When they see their children stressed out or burnt out, they need to take them out for a walk or even a day off disconnecting them from their depressing world because that is important! Offering them counseling through a doctor or a teacher is required. Your kid is your responsibility! Locking them in a room and making them study for 24 hours is of no use. Identifying what they are good at and helping them achieve their dream is going to make a huge difference. It's high time parents stop living out their dreams through their children.

• A teacher’s role:

“A teacher is someone capable of changing the life of a student and shaping their future”

Yes! A thousand times yes

Have we heard of Mr. Les Browns, one of the great motivational speakers? How is he honored as a gifted orator and speaker? The answer to this is going to be -Through a teacher.

As a child, Les was diagnosed as mentally disabled,

HE WAS TOLD HE WAS THE DT, THE "DUMB TWIN."

One day, in a classroom, all of that changed.

Les was called up by a teacher to solve a problem, and Les got up in front of everyone and said he couldn’t do it. When the teacher asked why, another student said he was DT – the dumb twin who couldn’t do anything.

The teacher looked right at Les and told him not to listen to anyone. He said not to let other people’s stories affect and influence him.

From that moment on Les turned his life around, and started to live life the way he believed he should. What an inspiring story! When Teachers can change lives just by speaking two sentences of motivation and encouragement, it’s very easy for them to read the minds of children and prevent them from having suicidal thoughts! Teachers become the parents in school and they play a very high role in suicide prevention. Institutions must take action to conduct various sessions to prevent suicidal thoughts among students and to help them engage in different activities to help them balance everything.

• As a friend:

When a friend or a classmate sits lonely in class and not socializing much it’s our responsibility as a friend or classmate to offer a talk to them. Eating lunch with them, cracking jokes, and making them happy is therapy! Allow your friend to be her or himself when she is around you. When they open up their heart to you, listen to them. They might let all the bad thoughts out which will give you a better understanding to help them in a much better way! It’s time to volunteer ourselves. Who knows? We might end up saving someone’s life!

ADDRESSING AND ACCEPTING FAILURES:

“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal; it’s the courage to continue that counts”- WINSTONE CHURCHILL

Students should learn the art of handling failures and become an expert at it! They should train themselves to treat success and failure equally. Know that “you are not alone”. Make use of the helpline numbers available to make sure you don’t make the wrong decision.

When we were young, after a lot of failed attempts we learned to walk. Thomas Alva Edison never said that his 100 attempts were failures; he just took those 100 attempts as ways that won’t work.

 Developing a ray of optimism around ourselves will take us a long way. Constant motivation during constant failures is very important! Don’t compare yourselves with others- is a very common advice or a statement because comparison is an act of violence against oneself. We hate it when our parents compare or teachers compare but can we do that to ourselves? No! Never! Better yourself every time, you wish you could’ve done better.

When everything feels overwhelming, try to implement the following steps to avoid getting suicidal thoughts.

Practical steps to practice:

• Letting it out:

Open up yourself, voice yourself out. Talk and let your feelings out. Don’t keep them inside. It’s difficult but keeping all of them to yourself hiding the scars and being in a war with yourself is not going to help. Talking to parents, a teacher or a friend who understands you is important.

• Befriend your parents:

For those whose dreams are different and not in line with your parents' dreams, talk to them. Fights and arguments go in vain. Parents always think the best for you! The father of the TN boy, who died recently, gave a heart-aching interview after losing his son. Losing own child is a never-ending sorrow. Whenever you get suicidal thoughts, think of your parents who are doing so much for you! Befriend them. They need you and you need them. Make them your strong support system!

• Keep yourself motivated:

Reading and knowing about the inspiring after-failure stories of many students and people who have succeeded in life after many struggles helps us think about life from a different perspective.

• Face the fear:

Why fear when hope is near? Give your best and throw away the fear of failure! There is hope that is waiting for us in the dark. Embrace the hope and “Do not feed your fears”.

• Balance and breaks:

Knowing how to balance studies and activities is a must. Don’t go so hard on yourself. The brain needs rest to work efficiently. Reward yourself with breaks that will enhance your brain capacity and help you be calm and serene always!

• Muster up courage:

Courage is all we need sometimes. To run for help, to let everything out! Life expands in proportion to one’s courage! Be courageous and take action wisely.

CONCLUSION:

Failure: Don't be scared!
It’s Just another sign,
That you're gonna shine!

Take life as a beautiful journey and stop considering yourself low. Keep going ahead and see what life has in store for you! Face the fears and failures. Let’s start being the voice of many students who cannot speak! May the students become an inspiration and epitome to one another!

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