You know how you keep experiencing and learning things that you were told before? Like when you were told when you were young that sleep is important for you to function the next day? Maybe that changed to if you don’t get enough sleep coffee or tea will help you function like a human for the rest of the day.

For example, I remember, in our school, we had a daily schedule of 10 minutes of meditation time in the morning. We used to call it ‘Anapan’. It was a beautiful concept but back then we all found it a waste of time. Then, an alumni batch visited our college and one of them, in his speech in the morning assembly, had mentioned that he missed ‘Anapan’ and that even though we didn’t like doing it right now, one day we would realize its importance. Back then, I didn’t really pay any attention to that statement, categorizing it as nostalgic blabber. Today, I would agree to the same thing without missing a heartbeat.

In our initial years we overlook most of the things we are told. Eventually we get to have experiences that either remind us or teach us the things we have already heard.

One such saying in my language that really got me thinking about our Indian sayings, some days ago was, “The way to a man’s heart goes through his stomach.”

Now, I am sure each one of you has heard a similar, if not same, saying in your own language.

It doesn’t seem like any of those deep ancestral sayings, right? Maybe, a housewife just said it one day without any thought attached to it, and her daughter or mother-in-law heard it but used it in a meaningful way? From then maybe it got a meaning. Maybe it is like that for most of the sayings. Maybe that’s how we learn things. I don’t know how but it’s a beautiful and natural process.

I was reminded of this saying recently while doing my internship. Doing your internship somewhere else other than your hometown is the best decision you can take. It opens so many new avenues for you that you didn’t know, it changes the way you look at life. It’s a different phase of your life and going on an adventure in this phase is like being on a roller-coaster ride. It feels like a rite of passage every person should go through. Yes, it pushes you out of your comfort zone, but it also teaches you how to make your own space. A comfort zone that your parents or guardians have not created for you; it’s the first thing you own that is completely yours. Plus, you get to go back and enjoy the same things differently and you get special treatment back home. It’s really a win-win situation if you look at it right.

So as Indian clichés go, my mom packed dozens of boxes full of snacks for me before I left. Among these boxes, was a box of the most mouth-watering laddoos. Only the best laddoos!

(So, the people who don’t know what laddoos are, it’s a mixed ball of jaggery and crushed peanuts.)

Every morning, I packed an extra tiffin containing 5 laddoos with the regular lunch box, to eat whenever I get hungry. For the first few weeks I was too shy to offer them to anyone, but after a month I offered it to my colleagues and they absolutely loved it. So, when my boss came into the office that day, I offered it to him with a little hesitation, because he’s always very strict and serious. I asked him if he would like to have some, and the way his face had transformed was so amusing and surprising! Oh my god! It was almost a childish glow. You know when you give a chocolate to a child? That glow was the exact one my Sir had. It was so surprising because that poker face was never pulled down, but the minute I offered him this laddoo, it was like he never had a poker face on! He devoured the laddoo in no time. Told me to tell my mother that it was delicious and before going back to his cabin he thanked me again and patted my back.

This encounter with him was so unexpected and heart-touching; it got me thinking about the saying. This saying, like almost every other I’ve heard from my elders and peers, still holds true!

Okay, I know our generation tends to be a little…or a lot sceptical about rituals and sayings like these but hear me out. I have had interactions that changed my opinion about this saying. Although, as I am writing this I’ve realised that you’ll learn certain things at certain age. Even if you experience a similar situation in your earlier years, you won’t learn much from it. This is my thought, though. It might be wrong but my life told me this version of the story.

So, this experience was when I was in school and it was the first day of my Diwali break. I was travelling to my village with my uncle by bus.

Travelling by buses or trains are my favourite means of travel. I mean, listen, planes are cool and convenient and all, but they are so formal! You get to the destination so quickly; you don’t have time to enjoy the journey. Yes, you can click amazing cloud photos, but you don’t get that human touch! In buses and trains you will get to listen to such different anecdotes of such different people, it’s almost like reading a book!

So, we got on to the bus that would take us to our village. We got seats right in the front, near the conductor/ticket collector. After a long time, I was seating right in the front. I have this back bencher mentality, where I’ll go and sit right at the back even if there are seats vacant in the front. Here, though, my uncle was in charge so we sat on the first vacant seats we saw.

In Indian culture, you don’t go empty handed to anyone’s house, and during Diwali the box has to absolutely be filled with Diwali snacks. So my mom, being the perfect Indian wife, had packed Diwali snacks for my relatives back in my village. Now, back then I was really extroverted and was not an over-thinker (good old days!), so I went with my tiffin to the conductor and offered him the snacks and the sweets. He was so touched that someone had offered him Diwali snacks. He said those were the first Diwali snacks he was having that year. Now, any Indian person you know or if you are Indian, would know Diwali and Diwali snacks hold a special place in our heart and stomach. So, back then I didn’t think much of it, because that was the expected reaction.

The point is I didn’t learn anything else than, “sharing is caring”, back then. Maybe it was because I was not an over-thinker or I didn’t have the mental capability to think anything beyond that.

After the laddoo incident, though, I actively started searching for that glow. I asked one of my roommates, what her favourite food was. She is from the North-Eastern part of India, so anything she would say would be new for me. My roommate went on a happy high telling me how her favourite dish is cooked and what occasion it is made on. She promised to make it for us someday. Basically, we went into a deep tunnel of food talk that kept us awake till midnight.

Have you ever talked to someone about the food they like to eat or cook? Did you ever observe their face? Oh, how their face glows! The best kind is when they are describing their favourite local cuisine. The face of people who taste their local cuisine after a long time or if you offer someone your local cuisine, their face will transform into the most exquisite smile.

Having conversations like these, which bring out a different kind of glowing happiness in people, makes me realise how completely opposite people can come together and make India what it is. You’ll have all the different spices, vegetables, pulses and fruits to become one delicious dish that’ll bring happy tears and a sad smile to an Indian’s face. You give one amazing, mouth-watering dish to Indians, and we’re forever in your debt. We value people and food over money. Wherever, in India, you go you’ll find people that become your extended family. Maybe this is what makes India feel like home. 

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