Dear Original me,

In the depths of the night, as I find myself holding this bottle of whisky, I am reminded of the relentless facade I've adorned for so long - the mask of sophistication, calmness, and maturity. I've grown tired of the constant social facade that prevails nowadays. It seems that in this age, we're compelled to wear masks, feign happiness, and project an image of contentment, all while showcasing our accomplishments and, regrettably, taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others. What's truly annoying is that this behavior has become the accepted norm, and conforming to this societal standard is now called "diplomacy." Concealing one's authentic self is hailed as a sign of intelligence. However, it's disheartening to observe that behind closed doors, many of these seemingly fulfilled individuals are, in fact, hollow and burdened by sadness. But tonight, there's chance to break free from this self-imposed restraint and embrace the authenticity that lies within.

Oh, how I long to shed the weight of judgment that society imposes upon us! Even in a world where freedom should reign, the burden of expectations looms large, compelling us to conform and hide our true selves. Yet, your plea has stirred a fire within me - a desire to liberate my spirit and embark on a journey of self-discovery.

I must confess that the prospect of expressing my deepest feelings, be it love or the stubborn convictions that reside in the depths of my heart, fills me with fear and anxiety. The fear of rejection and harsh judgment holds me captive, and I've hesitated to let my true self be known. But your words resonate deeply, reminding me that true growth comes from embracing our unfiltered essence, regardless of the consequences.

The weight of unsaid words and backspaced texts is a burden too heavy to bear. The fear of losing cherished connections and, even worse, losing myself to the confines of society's expectations, haunts my very being. In the midst of this ceaseless charade, I find myself utterly lost, uncertain of who I truly am and how much of my genuine self I've concealed within. The boundary between authenticity and artifice has blurred not only in the external realm but also within the depths of my own being. My strengths and weaknesses, once meaningful aspects of my character, now exist solely as bullet points on a resume, their true significance obscured by the relentless pretense. This profound disconnect leaves me adrift, struggling to navigate the enigma of my own identity in a world that champions facade over authenticity, where the lines between reality and fake have become increasingly indistinguishable. Today, however, I am determined to break free from these chains and lay bare my soul, unapologetically.

I want to speak up against those who are wrong, regardless of their power and status. I want to stroll around comfortably in pajamas, my lips bare of lipstick, and laugh as loudly as I please, unconstrained by gender expectations. I yearn to make that one tipsy phone call, to confess my love without the fear of damaging a cherished friendship. I desire that one daring kiss, one risky choice, the freedom to pick out that special dress, and embark on an unforgettable journey.

The sad reality is that, sometimes, I've turned to a bottle of whiskey to find the courage for these desires. It raises a troubling question: why can't I simply be myself without being under the influence? The answer is quite simple – it's easier. Intoxication provides a convenient excuse. If someone takes offense, I can offer the excuse that I wasn't in my right mind. But deep down, I know the truth: this is when I'm truly in touch with my desires and courage, when I can fully be me.

This realization is like a spotlight on the difficulties posed by societal expectations and our own fears. These factors often stop us from fully embracing our authentic selves without relying on alcohol for courage. It's a reminder that we sometimes hide behind the mask of inebriation to express our true desires, rather than confronting the societal pressures and personal reservations that hold us back from being our genuine selves.

We're so wrapped up in this pattern of behavior that I can't help but wonder what could go wrong if I were to just be myself, without conforming to society's expectations. I strongly believe that the prevalent practice of "diplomacy" is a major contributor to the widespread depression and unhappiness among today's generation. Most of my time is spent worrying about the consequences of my actions, the fear of losing my standing in society, and the constant pressure to impress everyone and become their favorite.

But what about what I truly want? What about the things that bring me genuine joy, love, and contentment? These important aspects often get buried beneath the weight of societal expectations. It's high time we prioritize our own happiness and well-being over the need for external validation. Authenticity and self-expression should take precedence over conformity. When we start focusing on what truly makes us happy and loved, we can break free from the shackles of diplomacy and rediscover our genuine selves. This shift in mindset can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life, unburdened by the constant pursuit of approval and status in the eyes of others.

I shall no longer tolerate the presence of wrongdoers in my life, for they hinder the path to authenticity and growth. Instead, I will seek out the honest souls who appreciate the unfiltered version of me, embracing the beauty of imperfection.

And when the dawn breaks and the world beckons me once more to wear the mask, I will carry the memories of this day as a beacon of light, guiding me through the shadows of pretense. I promise you, dear self, that I shall not return to the confines of repression, for the taste of freedom is too sweet to be forgotten.

So, tonight, I pour out my heart, knowing that tomorrow I shall stride forth with newfound strength, unafraid to be the original me. For in this boundless expression of self lies the essence of true living.

~The sane and sophisticated me.

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