When she had to drift apart from what was a part of her life, an important part, her heart started suffering. In a few days, her world changed. What she had thought was forever, became nothing anymore.

Everything which was once her routine became “no longer”. She felt like her heart was shrunken. It ached and she started feeling the pain of separation. Fear took over and a small world was created inside her where she chose to suffer and suffer again.

She started finding out that her personal likes, passion, and admiration for the worldly things were also entangled with that bond, the bond which just had lost its future. When she lost the rights over it, she found it difficult to untangle them. Suddenly, everything that was admired before, started seeming meaningless. Just like the other who was far, everything else went far away. She forgot how she loved everything around her. She felt like she never loved and had passion for anything in life. For then, she didn’t know how to do that. She wasn’t interested in admiring the chirp of her favorite bird, like before. She couldn’t feel the connection with her moon friend whom she had fondly admired every day.

She casted a smile outward and in the inside she felt disconnected. She spoke only from her lips, not from the heart. Her heart became lame. She felt like she wasn’t living. She felt like she was detached from life itself. She did not feel anything deeply. Her mind was only engaged in revisiting the disappointed past.

Her routine of devoting time for the bond called her. She wanted to go back to that place where her heart was pondering. But things were not like before. She had to keep herself away from sharing her life and expressing her thoughts and keep them inside, for, the door into which she had been pouring them until a few days ago and keeping the fondness alive, did not belong to her anymore. When she had given her heart and soul to that bond, the new change was outlandish to her. She would suddenly dissolve in tears, oblivious of the place she was in. Her eyes instinctively stirred at 5 am in the mornings and there it cannot continue to rest. She wanted to hold everything together forever but the fact that she could not, made her surrender to the pain.

The struggle was not just that the bond was no more a part of her life but the struggle was to move ahead in life without that bond. Everything around her started getting associated with her past memories. She had to shift all her time to something else to fill the gap.

Her mother’s peck on the cheek could move her but it made her more emotional and she realized how vulnerable her heart has become.

The hard part was to stay strong with the vulnerable heart and work hard to keep herself away, whenever her heart wanted to give in.

May be that was just an episode of depression in her life. May be God had other plans for her.

Walking away is painful, but when you have the discipline to move forward, you will get to see what is waiting ahead for you. Trust the process, you will one day learn to let go.

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