Image by Agnieszka from Pixabay
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all?"
And I was overjoyed to know this mirror doesn't speak. Because if it did, I was sure the answer wasn't me. Millions of teenagers feel the same way as me. The question 'How do I look' irks so many who aren't satisfied with themselves because they aren't beautiful according to society. At one point in time, we did wonder why we didn't resemble those dazzling Instagram models with 'perfect bodies'.
Just to fit in, people go on fat diets and overstrain in gyms until they realize none of this gets them their desired body. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 35 per cent of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting and 20 to 25 per cent of those individuals develop eating disorders. Such an unhealthy lifestyle takes a heavy toll on our mental health leading to serious issues like depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, low self-esteem and self-worth and giving rise to many eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorders. According to ANAD, eating disorders affect at least 9% of the population worldwide and 26% of those commit suicide. Larger body size is both a risk factor for developing an eating disorder and a common outcome for people who struggle with bulimia and binge eating disorder. 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner, 81% of 10-year-old children are afraid of being fat, 46% of 9-11 year-olds are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets, 35-57% of adolescent girls engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting, diet pills, or laxatives. In a college campus survey, 91% of the women admitted to controlling their weight through dieting.
Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too fair, too dusky; social standards imply that beauty lies in being everything but you.
"My weight had become a national issue", said the national award-winning actress Vidya Balan who battled body image issues.
In conversation with entrepreneur Namita Thapar on her show Unconditional Yourself with Namita Thapar, the actor also revealed that she often relied on crash diets” “just to lose weight“. She added that her battle with body image issues was such that even when she was at her thinnest, she would “feel fat”. Sonam Kapoor in an interview opened up about her struggles with her body as an adolescent wondering why her body looked nothing like it should. The Hollywood diva Priyanka Chopra opened up on the false perception about how a woman should look and what bodies should look like.
People forget that physical appearance is just a mask that covers the soul. But alas! we fail to look beyond what is visible. Why do we need to look a certain way to be called beautiful? Is beauty just about the body?
For the longest time, the word beauty has been used and abused to the point of being almost meaningless. Think about it. Is beauty just about the body...
Contrary to popular belief, I would like to posit that the outer appearance just makes one pretty. A person with perfect features according to social standards is pretty not beautiful. Why is your favourite person, your favourite? Do they conform to the social standards? Or do you like them because they appear beautiful to you? It might be the way they talk, or cook your loved dishes, or their angelic voice, or just the fact that they give you so much love and inspire you to do better.
Beauty is way more than surface-level aesthetics. Beauty is about unwavering courage, it's about inner strength and compassion. Beauty is about finding meaning and purpose in life, about wisdom and knowledge.
Winnie Harlow, the American Model was bullied because she suffered from a skin condition called vitiligo. She was called a cow and always mocked for her appearance. But, did that stop her from achieving her dreams of being a model? She's become a reminder that beauty is about being confident in your skin.
Beauty at its core is about kindness at heart and sacrifice. That pretty or handsome outer appearance will eventually fade and wrinkle but the soul will continue to flourish and evolve with grace, understanding and love. It's those sensations that ignite the real flame of confidence and beauty in the souls of those constantly bombarded with messages telling them to believe otherwise. It's the little moments, like when someone looks at you with respect and admiration. It's the true ecstasy of falling in love with people and places in a magically easy way. It's the way it feels to achieve a goal you've worked tirelessly to achieve. It's the wrinkles from every effortless smile and furrowed brow of strength that make a face perfect. It's the moments that build the women we become and strive to be.
Kudos to Dove which has risen above the social standards and launched a campaign called 'Real Beauty' where it strives to make beauty a source of confidence, not anxiety. And I can proudly say that the era of embracing yourself with your flaws, scars and insecurities has kick-started. Urban, an up-and-coming brand aims at being size inclusive and its unique tagline 'My right to wear' has taken the right step towards breaking toxic moulds about beauty. Allen Solly strikes right back at beauty standards with its 'Own your shape' tagline. Another brand Joy's 'Beautiful by Nature' is shattering every toxic standard for beauty to date. The singer-songwriter Sam Smith, recalled how being called fat affected his mental health. Through social media, his source of misery, he passed down the message to love our fluctuating bodies.
This journey towards nullifying beauty standards is long and slow but steady. Come all, join me on this mission to give beauty its real power. Let it transcend the barriers of age, colour, body, and gender and exist in its true sense. Let us reside in a world that doesn't pry on insecurities while peddling empowerment. A world where the beauty of every individual is celebrated. Let us be unapologetically ourselves and comfortable in our perfect imperfections. True beauty is the full acceptance of who we are and the constant refinement of becoming a better human being. Beauty is in the heart, and the way it shines through. Let us join hands and sail beyond this realm of physiognomy and embrace our beautiful selves. So this time while gazing at the mirror, look deep within your orb's windows to your soul. You'll see yourself shining with confidence, strength and wisdom and then you'll realize you were beautiful all along.
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