Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay
Incessant tears, timely self-loathings,
Iterating pain, feeling numb and naked.
Disprins and sedatives,
In a limbo, eyes wide open.
Clock ticking by, I'm numb,
I'm still there where you left me,
Abandoned and stranded.
Won't you come pick me up?
Learnt time would heal everything,
Guess it was a myth.
Anxiety dreams, memories a nightmare,
Life's crushing down without mercy.
It's hurting, but seems its only the starting.
Here I'm standing stolid by the ocean,
So many possibilities, so much to see,
Should I dive in or drown in?
Will it be worth the wait, the pain?
Tear-soaked eyes, smiling wide
People indifferently passing by,
Guess everyone's blind.
Some know but act dumb,
Some don't give a shit,
For some, it's better to keep mum.
I try to live for only me once
Why does it feel so selfish then?
Only I look for me
Why is it so cold here
Has the winter already begun?
Tried giving up on you
Tried giving up on me
All in vain, what else should I do
To let me free?
You promise me a perfect future,
When all I want is a present together.
Why it feels wrong to forget you?
Why am I a traitor then?
Crying, I hug myself tight tonight
The sky's clouded, it's dark tonight
It's scary but it feels like home.
I am here for me
I'm broken, I know.
I've changed, where's me?
It's getting worse, I know
I still whisper underneath my shaky breath
"It will be alright again".
But still, ..........when?
. . .