Understanding children, encouraging them, and guiding them play a significant role in moulding their character. Very often, parenteral ignorance results in unwelcome consequences. “Talking to children is an art. Children are seldom naïve in their communication. Their coded messages require deciphering. To reach out to children and to reduce parenteral frustration, we need a new mode of relating to children. It is based on respect and skill.
When a child is buffeted by strong emotions, he will not listen to anyone. He will not accept advice, consolation, or constructive criticism. He only wants his feelings to be understood. When a child makes a statement about himself, it is often desirable to respond, neither with an agreement nor disagreement, but with details that convey to the child an understanding beyond his expectation. Parents tend to pamper their children with flattery.
Consider a mirror, it merely reflects feelings as they are, without distortion or adding flattery or faults. To a child, the statements what parents make should be in a loving tone. It is a widely held belief that praise builds up a child's confidence and makes him feel secure. In actuality, praise may and often result in tension and misbehavior, especially when it's inept. The single most important rule is that praise should deal only with the child's effort and accomplishments, not with his character and personality. When things go wrong, it is not the right moment to teach an offender about his personality but it is best to deal only with the event, not the person.
When a child is repeatedly told by his teachers or parents that he is stupid, he comes to believe it. He starts thinking of himself as such. He then gives up intellectual efforts, feeling that his escape from ridicule lies in avoiding contest and competition. His safety hinges on not trying. Thus, it can be seen that the intellectual progress and the character development of a child depends to a large degree on the way his parents accurately judge a situation and deal with it.