Image by Hermann Traub from Pixabay 

Human Relationship is one of the mysteries of life. And because it exists between two persons, who depend on each other a new world is created. Just by their meeting, a new phenomenon comes into existence – which never existed before. And through that new phenomenon, both persons are changed and transformed.

Relationship is created by us, but then, in its turn, relationship creates us. Two persons meet, that means two minds and two worlds meet. It is not a simple thing but very complex. Each person is a world unto himself or herself, a complex mystery with a long past and an eternal future. In the beginning only peripheries meet. But if the relationship grows intimate, becomes closer, becomes deeper, then by and by centers start meeting. When centers meet, it is called love. When peripheries meet, it is acquaintance. Many times we start calling our acquaintance our love. Then we start living in a fantasy. To meet a person at his center is to pass through a revolution ourselves, because we will have to allow that person to reach to our center also. 

We will have to become absolutely vulnerable. It is risky and dangerous, because we never know what that person will do to us. And once all our secrets are known, once we are exposed completely, what that other person will do, we never know. The fear is there. That’s why we never open. We get acquainted, and we think that love has happened. Peripheries meet, and we think we have met. The periphery is the boundary where we end, just the fencing around us. It is not us! The periphery is the place where we end and the world begins. And the more we live with someone, the more we forget completely that the centers have remained unknown. We may be making love, we may be sexually related, but unless centers meet, sex is just a meeting of two bodies. Sex also remains acquaintance – physical, bodily, but still acquaintance. We can allow somebody to enter to our center only when we are not afraid and fearful. 

There are two types of living...

One: fear-oriented; the other: love-oriented. 

Fear oriented living can never lead us into deep relationship. We remain afraid, and the other cannot be allowed to penetrate us to our very core. To an extent we allow the other and then the wall comes and everything stops. The love-oriented person means one who is not afraid of the future, of the result and the consequence, one who lives here and now and acts totally. A fear-oriented man is always calculating, planning, arranging, safeguarding. His whole life is lost in this way. If we can be in this moment, then only can we love. 

Love is a rare flowering. It happens only sometimes. Millions and millions of people live in the false attitude that they are lovers, but that is their belief only. Love is a rare flowering because it can happen only when there is no fear. Love can happen only to a very deeply SPIRITUAL person. Sex and acquaintance is possible for all. Not love. When we are not afraid and have nothing to hide, then we can be open and withdraw all boundaries and we can invite the other to penetrate us to the very core. A trust is created. When we are not afraid, the other becomes fearless. In our love, fear is always there. Lovers are always afraid. Then it is just an arrangement of two fearful persons depending on each other, fighting, exploiting, manipulating, controlling, dominating, possessing – but it is not love. 

When we allow love to happen, there is no need for prayer – because through love, everything will have happened to us: But love is difficult. Fear has to be dropped. This body will be taken by death so why not give it to love. So, the struggle is between death and love. If we can give, there will be no death. Before anything can be taken away from us, we will have already given it; for a lover there is no death. For a non-lover, every moment is a death, because every moment something is being snatched away from him. The body is disappearing, he is losing every moment. And then there will be death, and everything will be annihilated. 

What is the fear? Why are we so afraid? Even if everything is known about us and we are an open book, why fear? How can it harm us? Just false conceptions and conditionings given by the society, that we have to hide, and protect our self, that we have to be constantly in a fighting mood, that everybody is an enemy, that everybody is against us. There is nothing to fear. This has to be realized before a real relationship can happen. And then allow the other to enter us and not create any barriers anywhere. Then love is possible. When two centers meet, there is love. And love is an alchemical phenomenon. Love is just like water, the thirst of many, many lives is satisfied. Suddenly we become content. That is the visible sign of love; Destiny is fulfilled. The seed has become a flower, has come to its total flowering. Deep contentment is the visible sign of love. 

Love cannot be seen, but contentment, the deep satisfaction around him...his every breath, his every movement, his very being – content. When there is love and two centers have met and dissolved and merged, and a new alchemical quality is born, contentment is there. It is as if the whole existence has stopped – no movement. Then the present moment is the only moment. Even death doesn’t mean anything to a man who is in love. We should allow some center to meet the center within us and a new quality of being will be created. 

We may have observed that whenever we are discontent and dissatisfied, our whole being wants to say: WHY LIVE?. If we are satisfied, suddenly our whole being says: LIFE is good. Suddenly we feel it! The whole existence becomes divine. If love is there we will be really for the first time feel that existence is divine and everything is a blessing. But much has to be done and destroyed before this can happen. We have to destroy all that creates barriers in us. We need to make love an inner discipline not just a frivolous thing or an occupation of the mind and certainly not just a bodily satisfaction. We have to make it an inner search. 

If we can find a friend who is ready to move with us towards the inner center and to the highest peak of relationship, then this relationship will become meditative. Then through this relationship we will achieve the ultimate relationship. Then the other becomes just a door and by and by first the periphery and then the form of the person disappear. We come more and more in contact with the formless, the inner and the form becomes, by and by, vague and disappears. And if we go deeper, then even this formless individual starts disappearing and melting. Then the beyond opens and that particular individual was just a door, an opening. And through our lover, we find the divine. Because we cannot love, we need so many religious rituals. We need no temple to go to. The whole existence is our temple. But the first glimpse will always come through an individual. 

It is difficult to be in contact with the universal. It is so big, so vast, without a beginning and endless. Where do we start from and where to move into it? The individual is the door. The basic key is this: we should allow the other to penetrate us to our very deepest core, to the very ground of our being. But we go on deceiving ourselves. We think we love then there is no possibility for love to happen – because if this is love, then everything is closed. We need to find in the other the real being that is hidden without taking anybody for granted. Every individual is such a mystery that if we go on and on into him/her it is endless. But we get bored with the other – because just the periphery, and always the periphery. 

The periphery cannot remain new, because every moment it is getting old, stale. The center is always fresh and young. Our soul is simply eternally fresh because the center doesn’t belong to time. In the process of time, everything becomes old. Our periphery is old. We cannot be eternally in love with it. But our center is always fresh, it is eternally young. Once we are in contact with it, love is an every-moment discovery. We have to make love a self-transformation. Destruction of the ego is the point, the goal. From wherever we like to approach the inner world – from love, from meditation, from prayer – whatsoever the path we choose, the goal is the same: the destruction of the ego. Through love it can be done very easily. And it is so natural! Love is the natural religion. 

Anything else is going to be more and more unnatural. If we cannot work through love, it will be difficult for us to work through anything else. There are two paths, love and meditation. Love means working out our path through relationship. And meditation: working it out in our aloneness. We need to feel which will suit us and then bring our total energies to it, and move on that path. It is always there. Truth can be communicated only in silence. But this is the paradox: all those who have insisted that truth can be communicated only in silence have all used words but nothing can be done about it. Whenever we are silent, truth is there. Whenever we are chattering inside we miss the truth which is always present. Silence knows no boundaries. In silence, love is happening. In silence, all that is significant happens. But to bring silence is a problem, arduous. The love, the truth can flower there. Whenever there is silence, truth flowers. Truth is a flowering of silence.

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