Mental. The youth is mental.

Humans are said to be the most selfish of all beings to exist. Well, they most certainly are. But I sometimes feel that maybe I’m not human. Because I’ve yet to explore the meaning of being cruel and evil like others already have. It feels unjust when I see people who resemble anti heroes and antagonists thrive and achieve success. While, I, who’s simply not able to fit in any stereotypical character archetype, has to act indifferent towards the society because it’s full of morons. I’m not British, I just like using those words they speak. I absolutely love English tea. However, I’ve always had a fit against English men, they appear so salty all the time that I feel as if I am not talking to a legitimate person but to the Atlantic ocean. I am not sorry if I seem as if I am blabbering and I don’t care if people think of me as a nincompoop, which I most certainly am. But also, I tend to have a habit of criticising everything that comes my way and I despise authority. Does that fit me into the eccentric protagonist archetype? Well, maybe not because I have never fought with anyone or won debates. I have a decent life and I most certainly don’t have enemies but people do dislike me as they think of me as a fool but I guess, it’s because I am not as evil and selfish as them. I am simply a thinker. And a man who thinks can only think and not act unless he’s a man of action.

What’s the definition of a man? Well, to me, it is someone who is limitless and can't fit inside a box. What’s the definition of a woman? I am not someone to define women but if I had to, I would say that women are the epitome of strength and beauty all complexly embedded into them as if they are more human than humans and more divine than the Gods. They are always more and yet a person who says he’s a man can’t understand them. When in reality, being a man means being an explorer. I may sound loony to you all but what’s better than exploring a woman’s intelligence and laughter? Nothing. That's the answer, nothing is better than womanhood and I'm not even a woman, I am a man who's aged 24 and I most certainly appear lunatic to you all. But I have never cared about opinions, and I never will.

I am the son of the most famous criminal of the US and everyone thinks I must be like my father because I am basically his look alike. To be honest, I have never done anything worse than hurting a fly. Or maybe I have. Like one time, I killed seven ants out of pure joy. Yet, I’m sure I must have killed hundreds of ants by now. I don’t even know why they are so small. Can you even imagine that in the year 2025, the most evil thing I have done is kill ants and flies? Never been a terrible person, just a person who spends his time pondering upon the mysteries of life and death. What stays must go and what goes must come back? What is this time loop of all beings? And are we in the universe or is the universe in us? If humans close their eyes and drift to sleep, the universe vanishes or do we enter the universe? Or is the universe nothing but some sort of imagination? Then, is imagination reality? Am I just thinking about stupid conspiracies?

I am actually a very rich man, yes, rich but not money rich. I am rich because I have knowledge about many cultures and yet, a follower of none. I don’t like communities and communities have almost seemed to vanish in 2025, even cultures are rarely found. Only capitalism is thriving so I guess that is the reason why anti heroes and antagonists are the ones ruling the world currently.

If I haven’t mentioned, we are currently living in a dystopia but whenever I use this word, people call me a maniac. As if, all of them are hypnotised by technology so much that they can’t help but dissolve in it completely? It’s funny because I have a lot of technology at home but I only use it for work, which is barely five hours and I hate using my phone, which only has two numbers, one of my pet’s doctor which I am soon going to delete because my pet died three years ago. And the other is my mother’s.

We don’t talk anymore but she does send me money sometimes. My mother, the woman who gave me birth, acts like she didn’t because she is ashamed to have an unsuccessful child like me. She’s a rich businesswoman living in New York. I am so deeply hurt by her that I have never used a single penny that she has given to me for my own benefit (that’s a lie, I am just being overly dramatic).

I am a youtuber if it isn’t clear by now and I have enough money to survive on my own. I can cook really well and people love it when I do vlogs about my cooking. I hate technology, I want to run away and live in a village but villages don’t exist without technology too. On top of it all, I’m a youtuber, I need my phone even if I hate it. I hate technology and yet that’s where my money comes from.

I am popular on the internet for being the handsome son of a criminal. Many people keep sending me thirst traps that feature me in it. It’s usually just my arms that are sexualized on the internet. Why are people obsessed with my arm? I know I look like I go to the gym but I

hate the gym and I hate the stupid rat brained humans who pretend to be soldiers acting as if they are going for a war.

Everything is fine in my life except for the fact that the government has just announced a new form of virus that has been spreading at an increasing rate and it is designed to give a person permanent insomnia. The symptoms are very clear. If you have a never ending headache, overactive body language and a desire to sleep but never being able to because of your extreme anxiety, you are probably considered a part of the people who have been infected by this virus. And the fact is, after three days, you are most likely going to realise that you can’t sleep and you probably can’t sleep ever again. It sickens me because there are so many people suffering from so many things already and their only coping mechanism or escapism was sleep and now that’s also going away. The government is hiding the real reason for its spread. They are saying that it is some kind of just psychological connection with biology and some bullshit that I don’t understand. I believe nothing the government says and I have decided that I am going to tweet about this.

Chaosrangbyrune...

The government is hiding the reason for the spread of this new kind of virus because I am sure that they have some hand in the spread of it. It is probably one of their silly little experiments gone wrong and it was probably the rich who funded this stupid experiment. Stop messing with us normal citizens! We will burn down your party and destroy capitalism. Just like the 2020 pandemic, we don’t want another shut down! Get a solution. #stoplyingtous

It’s been seventeen hours and seven minutes since this news came out and I am currently debating whether I should call my mum and ask her if I can get some money and donate it to mental hospitals because they are getting fuller and there’s barely any space left in the

psych wards. There’s a new symptom of this virus and it isn’t just permanent insomnia but also memory loss and aggressive yelling, but that only happens when the virus gets worse and also other symptoms like improper digestion, weakening of eye health and continuous headache. The thing is, diseases like this have always been present but it was curable, the current state is however completely opposite. People who were already insomniac and were taking sleep pills have lost their insanity completely, people with anxiety can’t stop their headaches and the rest isn’t clear yet because even a normal headache can feel like you’ve been infected even when you’ve been not. And the problem is, the more you question whether you are infected or not, the more likely you are. It’s a mental virus, it’s a brain virus and no physical symptom is seen on the body until after three days of catching this virus. The only question is, how is it possible to catch a mental virus? There has to be something hidden behind our phone screens itself, because that’s the only thing that mainly gives teenagers and adults headaches and makes them lose their sleep. It also requires mental work more than physical and almost everyone carries a phone with themselves.

Now I’ve started to debate whether I should throw my phone outside, forever. Or maybe I’m just stupid. I haven’t caught this virus and I have uploaded a video of me cooking pissaladièr just an hour ago. Obviously by using a phone. I post cooking vlogs daily and my most viewed video is a Q&A video I did three years ago and revealed that I am the son of a criminal and that my name is Rune. Yes, people didn’t know my name even though it was literally hidden in the name of my channel, chaosrangbyrune.

Then before I knew it, I became popular and now everyone knows me. I’m just exaggerating. Not everyone. But many brands started to contact me after it and now in almost every cooking vlog, I have to do an ad. That is how I make my living.

Let’s go back to the virus. I have decided to go outside for once and instead of buying online books online, I should go out to a bookshop and see if there’s chaos or not. If you haven’t yet understood, chaos is my favourite word in the whole dictionary and I have never done something chaotic ever *winky face*.

I reach a bookshop which is only 24 kilometres away from my isolated house in my black Mercedes-Benz that doesn’t belong to me but my mother who I stole it from on my 18th birthday, the day I ran away from home. In case, I haven’t yet expressed it, I live in Manchester, New Hampshire. I sometimes worry about my choice of place but I can’t change it now. It's a place in the US that's a bit less melodramatic than the others, or atleast, that is what I think. So, it’s safe and a bit less annoying for me to live in. I can barely find things to criticise about this place.

When I step outside of my car, I see girls giggling at me for some reason. So, I take out my phone and I see that I have ink all over my chin. God knows how I got it there. I usually look very fine in public. That’s terrifyingly embarrassing coming from someone like me who does skin care every morning and every night.

I was going to step inside the bookshop but the same girls surrounded me. They are three in number and I am feeling like puking at their strong lilly scent. I hate lilies. I despise the obnoxious perfume of lilies.

“Can we please get a selfie with you?” The girl in pink asked me. I removed my black glasses and gave them a soft smile. “Yeah, why not?”

God, I hate this. The way their smell was entering my nose was angering me but I kept my calm. Am I arrogant? I sometimes feel I am. Maybe it’s an inherited trait from my parents.

I enter the bookshop and everyone starts to stare at me with wide eyes. And there I am, standing at a door, having to take selfies with teenage girls who claim to be my big fans but probably have no idea that I hate human interaction. I have often commented “relatable” under social anxiety memes just for the sake of telling people that I hate people, not because I enjoy those memes. I am not socially anxious, I hate touches and I hate strong scents of perfume. I don’t like it when people touch me. Thankfully, it’s 2025 and people know the meaning of consent. None of those teenage girls were standing too close to me, maybe because I look fearful or maybe they truly are my real fans.

To save me from so many fans, the owner of the bookshop scolded them and told them to leave me alone and let me buy my books. However, someone had already informed the paparazzi. And they are clicking my picture right now as I am trying to buy books for myself. What a fun time to be the son of a politician-criminal and an overly rich businesswoman!

Thankfully, the same old owner shut the doors of the bookshop and let me buy books in peace. They are still clicking my picture while buying books through the window. Wow! It is 2025 and there’s no privacy.

I quickly buy thirty books randomly, without checking the title and pay the money. The girls who clicked selfies with me started to ask me about what books I bought so that they could buy the same because they are my fans. Fans of what? My cooking vlogs where I barely speak? My online blog about the universe? Or my uncanny ability to speak Latin and roast Shakespeare?

I sit back inside my car and the paparazzis are still there. There are like four of them now. I feel famous. I didn’t know I was this famous. Maybe I am famous here because I live here and I’m the son of two famous parents or maybe because I am handsome. Apparently, the day I did a proper face reveal, three years ago, some woman decided that I match the description of a heartthrob. I guess I have the ability to gain attention due to my eyes, which are metal grey in colour. And my sharp beautiful features that make me appear like a psychopath.

I promise I am not a psychopath.

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