Aging is a kind of victim card which we all use at our own convenience. I feel we should live life to the brim till we can. Our healthy and positive ways help us to be an asset instead of a burden.

I was diagnosed with multiple gastro polyps in my stomach and intestines. The extreme sickness was in my head, yes, my mind. I was depressed and dejected. Abdominal pain was an inseparable part of my life and I aggravated it by playing the victim card whenever I wanted. I am writing about my journey with great difficulty and fathomless strength. It's difficult to admit our mistakes and that too publicly. I loved to be pitied and was annoyed if someone would say it was not so dangerous. I really enjoyed the situation but pangs of conscience pricked my very existence. I tried to give a deaf ear to my inner voice but it created a void within me.

My heart sank fathoms deep when my husband had a massive heart attack. I shifted him to Delhi. He underwent bypass surgery. During this time my only brother died a terrible death due to bone cancer. I saw my father shattered to the very core.

During this period I worked hard taking care of each and every member of the family. Yes, I vomited blood often but love for my loved ones gave me physical strength and emotional power. I realized that I could do whatever I wanted if only I wanted. I think it was a transformation of my entire personality. My daughters were going through tough times and I became their strength. When my father passed away during the Epidemic I performed his last rites taking him in my arms. There were no four shoulders for Papa. He went in my two arms.

I shifted to Mumbai for my grandchildren and daughters. I visited my doctor often. One day my doctor told me that he had no treatment for me. Do you think I played the age-old victim card? No, I didn't. I reduced my weight from 98 kg to 60 kg and participated in a Beauty Pageant. I won at city and state levels. Two crowns in my hands. Some people reminded me of my age. I just replied, " Age is a number. It's our mind which makes Heaven of Hell and Hell of Heaven. "It wasn't the end but a beginning. I became a model. Then I wrote a novel, "A Life Between Two Deaths". I wrote a couple of poems and almost 50 English plays. I write each day something. I teach English Grammar on different social media platforms. I make motivational reels. Whenever I feel low, whenever residuals of victim card try to catch hold of me I look straight into their arrows and say to myself, "MAD HEART, BE BRAVE".

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