Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash
The issue of gender bias has consistently unsettled me as a woman.
From a very young age, I became intrigued by broader ideas concerning women in general, such as WOMEN EMPOWERMENT and FEMINISM, actively seeking information through reading and casual conversations. However, despite my interest, these concepts were confusing to me at the time.
As little experience, as I had with my life back then, I was certain about the fact that society had set the expectations and stereotypes about how girls should be and what it meant to be a girl in a male-dominated society. These early impressions stuck with me and affected how I saw myself and what role do I play in the world.
As I grew older, I saw that boys and girls were treated differently based solely on gender. This realization fueled my determination to understand the root of this issue.
So, from that point onward, I embarked on a journey to contribute my part in bringing about a change in society as a woman.
But as I progressed, I realized it was not that simple. Our society is male-dominated for a reason, and although we talk about WOMEN EMPOWERMENT and FEMINISM on a daily basis, often it remains just that. The talk. Surprisingly, even as women, we fail to recognize the inherent value of our fellow women most of the time. It made me question: How can we expect society to change its perception of us if we ourselves overlook the value of other women?
Our society has established norms for men and women from the very beginning of its formation. Traditionally, men have been assigned tasks involving physical strength, like working outside in the sun and providing for their families. While women have been expected to undertake more delicate work that doesn’t require as much muscle power, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the family, and expanding the family branch.
Initially, outdoor and indoor work was evenly divided to ensure that neither gender felt inferior to the other. However, over time, providing for the family took precedence over nurturing and caring for the family. In simpler words, outdoor tasks gained more importance than indoor responsibilities.
This shift didn’t happen all of a sudden either. It unfolded over thousands of years, reaching to the state we are in today. Throughout various eras, women had plenty of opportunities to challenge and rectify societal norms. However, we often chose to stand by the glorification and gratification of what the male population believed in, without giving them the reality check of what their life would be without us in it. It was a matter of choice, not force, and this decision has been our downfall.
We took it upon ourselves to prevent our family from falling apart, and it came at a great cost. Believing that accepting inferiority to the males in our household would hold the family together, we failed to grasp the crucial reality: if one side of the scale attempts to exert more weight than the other, the balance of the weighing scale is already compromised. We were attempting to salvage something that had already been lost. And the most unfortunate aspect is that we attempted to achieve this by sacrificing our position in society.
For thousands of years, we accepted this outcome. However, as time passed and eras changed, we became unrecognizable even to ourselves. With each passing generation, a necessary shift occurred in the mindset of women. This brings us to today, where we openly discuss how to initiate a change that will acquire the much-needed appreciation for our gender.
But even today, while we aim to highlight our individual importance to society, there remains a paradox. On one hand, we seek recognition for our worth, and on the other hand, we continue to undermine women who we perceive as inferior simply because they choose to be homemakers or opt not to showcase their potential in ways we find acceptable. This, in my view, is nothing short of hypocrisy. Instead of fostering unity, we persist in division, creating distinct rules for those we deem worthy (like us) and those we consider less deserving among the so-called modern women.
We often overlook a fundamental fact: being a homemaker is just as crucial to a housewife as pursuing a career is to a career-oriented woman. It doesn’t grant superiority upon the career-oriented woman, nor does it render the homemaker inferior. Each plays a distinct role- one contributes financially to the household securing the future in one way, while the other diligently manages the home, ensuring not only present needs but also saving money for the future securing the future of the household in another way and continuing to provide for the household with the remaining resources.
But regrettably, just like the male-dominated society, many women also hold the belief that prioritizing the financial provision for the family outweighs the importance of nurturing and taking care of them. Consequently, we find ourselves aligning with the societal norm, contributing to the reason why we are not achieving the desired results for us.
If that weren’t enough, we direct our judgment towards women who we perceive as having lower status than us. We tend to avoid targeting men for the same most of the time, due to a fear of their physical strength, but we readily criticize women without a second thought. Why? Because their silence seemingly boosts our ego, creating a sense of superiority. It grants us the right to revel in our perceived strength over them. What baffles me is, the fact that we are not much different from the male-dominated society we often criticize regarding their overall view of women. We accuse men of not giving us the appreciation we deserve, asserting that many consider us inferior. Yet, are we not guilty of the same by degrading those we view as less than us within our own gender?
We defy criticism concerning our looks, choices in clothing, body type, and concepts of beauty, and rightly so. It’s important not to accept unwarranted comments. However, in advocating for ourselves, we should extend the same courtesy to other women as well. If we don’t appreciate judgmental remarks about our own looks and choices, it’s inconsistent to pass similar judgments on fellow women, Critiquing their appearance, deciding what suits them, commenting on their weight or complexion- these are actions, we, unfortunately, often direct towards our own gender. How can we hope for a change in societal perception when we ourselves contribute to the same behavior within our own gender?
While gender equality is a constant topic of discussion, we really need to question ourselves as women: do we genuinely believe in equality within our own gender? An even more critical question we need to ask ourselves is: are men truly responsible for making us feel inferior, or do we, as women, play a substantial role in our own setbacks?
If we truly achieve gender equality, it’s time to look at how our own thoughts and actions might be holding us back or limiting the progress we could make together.
For that first, we really need to understand the true meaning of the term WOMEN EMPOWERMENT before using it casually. This concept extends beyond successful career women and business achievers. It embraces every woman, including housewives dedicated to their family’s well-being, and even those in less privileged roles, like household help or labor workers who earn far lesser than a career-oriented woman; and don’t have enough education to do anything else other than what they do; don’t have a career which can progress any further; don’t have support they need from their family; have to take care of everything by themselves, but still without losing hope, or without being discouraged by their circumstances, they achieve their ultimate goal of providing for their family enough that they can have enough food in their plate. WOMEN EMPOWERMENT isn’t solely about celebrating well-known successes; it’s about acknowledging the daily goals, big or small, achieved by women in various walks of life. Whether visible to the world or not, what matters most is the determination and achievement of the goals women set for themselves.
Similarly, the term FEMINISM does not signify loudly broadcasting our pride in being women or promoting our gender. It extends beyond the realm of gender equality or minimizing the importance of other genders. FEMINISM is primarily about refusing to accept society’s degrading treatment of women, even when the mistreatment comes in the form of other women. It acknowledges that FEMINISM doesn’t just call out other genders but can challenge women as well who engage in bullying or degradation towards their fellow women. Various interpretations of FEMINISM exist in our society, but fundamentally, it aims to safeguard femininity.
An immediate question that arises here is “What defines FEMININITY?” This might seem like a straightforward question, with an obvious answer. After all, FEMININITY is commonly understood as encompassing the qualities, characteristics, and behaviors associated with women. But what qualities are we referring to? The typical response includes traits such as gentleness, empathy, nurturing, and a focus on interpersonal relationships.
However, can we be certain that this encompasses the entirety of what FEMININITY signifies? Have we, as women, genuinely attempted to broaden our understanding of it? Unfortunately, no. Even among us women, our perception of the term mirrors with that of the broader society.
But in today’s world, the concept of FEMININITY is evolving and becoming more diverse. While traditional notions of FEMININITY may have emphasized qualities like gentleness, nurturing, and domesticity, contemporary views recognize a broader spectrum of expressions and characteristics of the term.
In modern times, FEMININITY is often celebrated for its diversity and individuality. Women are not confined to rigid stereotypes anymore. They can embrace qualities traditionally associated with FEMININITY, such as empathy and compassion, while also embodying strength, independence, and assertiveness.
The empowerment of women in various spheres, including education, career, and leadership, has contributed to a more expansive and inclusive understanding of FEMININITY. Women today can navigate diverse roles and pursuits, challenging stereotypes and fostering a more distinct appreciation of what it means to be FEMININE.
That being said, let’s continue with the concept of FEMINISM. The core principle of the term is advocating for equal rights, opportunities, and fair treatment for all genders, involving our own. While we rightfully condemn societal injustices like unequal opportunities, promotions, or pay compared to men, it’s equally vital to confront situations where hurdles arise from within our own gender. Instances of favoritism, nepotism, or jealousy among women hindering the progress of deserving individuals also fall under the domain of FEMINISM. Addressing these internal discrepancies is essential for the overall pursuit of gender equality, regardless of whether the obstacles come from men or women.
It's crucial to understand that before striving for gender equality among other genders, we must prioritize achieving equality within our own gender. Supporting and uplifting other women without judgment is paramount. Appreciating their uniqueness and existence, even if they don’t conform to our preconceived notions of womanhood, is essential. Embracing ideologies different from our own and applauding women pursuing goals unfamiliar to us is vital. Each woman possesses her distinct individuality, which may differ significantly from ours. The key is to understand and appreciate our capabilities independently, without waiting for societal validation. The initial step is to refrain from diminishing our own gender- a fundamental change that must begin from within.
As mothers, it’s crucial to recognize that our daughters’ aspirations are just as significant as those of our sons. As sisters, it’s necessary to understand that protection is a shared responsibility, and we can safeguard our brothers as much as they can protect us. As a daughter-in-law, it’s important to know that binding ourselves to a family doesn’t limit our identity post marriage. As mother-in-law, we need to acknowledge that our daughter-in-law is equally tired after a day’s work as our son. As women, it is essential that we respect the choices of other women regarding appearances, aspirations, and achievements. That interference and judgment have no place. That everyone has the right to make choices for themselves. We must instill the value of gender equality in our children. Changing behavior and perception at home towards women is the first step before expecting societal transformation. After all, we are the crucial part of the formation of the society. Establishing a secure environment for our gender is crucial, considering we play a pivotal role in shaping societal norms. It is only by working together that we can initiate constructive transformations.
The journey toward true gender equality demands a profound reevaluation of our perceptions, attitudes, and actions as women. While advocating for equal rights and opportunities that extend beyond our gender, it is crucial that we first promote unity and mutual support within our own community. Our ability to appreciate and uplift every woman, regardless of her choices or path, is fundamental to the collective empowerment we seek. By surpassing stereotypes, eradicating biases, and embracing the diversity of femininity, we can establish the groundwork for a more inclusive and just society. As the architects of societal norms, it is within our hands to redefine the narrative and pave the way for a future where every woman’s journey is respected, celebrated, and granted the freedom to flourish.