This is the story of a person navigating his or her most vulnerable phase of life. I could say it was my own journey, but I have seen so many with the same dilemma and confusion in India. I hope we will all eventually get some clarity, but this is confusing.

Initially, my definition of success was solely based on accumulating wealth. However, once I entered the corporate world, I quickly grew disillusioned with the relentless rat race I found myself in. I searched for the people responsible for this situation, blaming both the people around me and the world itself for my dissatisfaction. It became evident that neither the typical 9-to-5 job nor relentless hard work in this field could guarantee success or wealth. Despite my relentless efforts, my contributions were dismissed as subpar, and my work was deemed inconsequential. No promotions. No raises. 

While not everyone may resonate with my experience, I believe it mirrors the sentiments of many. We are often thrown into a relentless pursuit of money, neglecting the creation of memories and meaningful connections. However, there are exceptional individuals who genuinely love this kind of work. Perhaps they possess highly analytical minds and derive joy from problem-solving within these roles. I can't predict that I'll ever become like them or truly comprehend their enthusiasm, but I recognize that such people exist, and I respect them. But this is not about those people.

When I realized my hard work went unrecognized, I made a resolute decision to quit my job and sent in my resignation. I could no longer endure another moment in that stifling environment that was slowly eroding my spirit. I felt unworthy of the comforts my parents had provided, believing that I had let them down. I felt they deserved a better son. I went into a deep depression. I felt lost and directionless. With a prolonged notice period ahead, my only goal was to endure it while I charted a new course for myself. I didn't have a concrete plan; I was essentially jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Looking back, I wondered if I had lost my mind. I kept my resignation a secret from my father for a month, and no one else knew. I wished those two months would pass quickly, allowing me to discover my own path. Here's the twist: I retracted my resignation. Why? To be honest, I believe I became apprehensive about the uncertainty of the world outside and its ruthless nature. I was scared that I might not be able to become what I wanted.

During this notice period, I revisited a book about one of the world's greatest innovators, Steve Jobs, written by Walter Isaacson. The book revealed that even someone like Steve Jobs could be ousted from the very company he built from his father's garage. The general public called him egotistical. Even now, he is portrayed as the same arrogant genius. He came back and made history, but that's for another day. If a rigid and arrogant person who has everything was kicked out, for some reason, that has thrown me into a spiral. I was thinking about only one thing: what will I lose if I don't land where I want to?

I used to think that the world favored individuals who cared little for others' concerns. I saw the world in stark terms: good or bad, rebel or rat race. I thought I could survive without a plan, but the book and my online research served as a reality check. I needed validation. I called my sister and shared my decision. Her response was concise: "Do you have a plan? Are you certain about this?" I had expected her to reassure me, saying, "Don't worry, everything will work out." But I lacked a clear plan for my next steps. I faced similar questions from other friends.

Now all I have are questions. Questions that I don't have answers for. I was scared to take up the path. I had multiple ideas, so why was I scared? It felt like a foolish thing to jump without knowing the depth. So, I took my resignation back. It took very long to realize that I was scared of the uncertainty of life and things in this world, and I gave in to the fears of others.

Successful individuals never stop pursuing their passions. I lacked love for my passion. I was waiting for the pieces to fall into place, thinking I could cross the bridge whenever I wanted to. The problem was that there was no bridge; I had to build it myself.

My definition of success has evolved over time, transitioning from mere wealth accumulation to doing what I love and loving what I do. These may sound distinct, but with an optimistic mindset, one naturally leads to the other. Don't let life's uncertainty deter you from finding something you enjoy and learning to find joy in your current work. Avoid making the habit of constantly chasing an ideal future, as you'll perpetually remain distant from the present moment. Embrace the uncertainty of life and the future.

In the words of Steve, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them by looking backward. You have to trust in something—whether it's your intuition, destiny, life, karma, or whatever—because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the beaten path."

Today, I still hold the same boring, soul-sucking job, but I'm determined not to quit my passion. I've discovered what I'm passionate about and am striving to find joy in my work. This might not be the correct approach, and this is not for everyone. But I've got no other choice. I have to forge my own path. Maybe one day I'll connect all the dots.

.    .    .