What is Bias? What do we mean when we say that a person is Biased towards someone?

In my opinion, Bias is partiality towards an individual irrespective of whether this individual is right or wrong; good or bad. When we say that a person ‘X’ is biased towards a person ‘Y’, we want to express our opinion that the person ‘X’ is partial towards the person ‘Y’, the person ‘X’ asserts that the person ‘Y’ is right , although the person ‘Y’ must have done something wrong.  

Our Biases foster the unwanted 'Favoritism' towards a person or a group and they generate Negativity while encouraging Inequality. Our biases make us overlook the faults, blunders and bad traits of the people whom we love or care for; and this is the scariest thing which results in tragedies, unpleasant circumstances, agony and grief. We should have the courage to point out the faults, blunders and harmful traits of our loved ones, our friends- without offending or degrading them to avoid tragedies, loss or situations filled with animosity and negativity. There is a possibility that the Ego within our loved ones and our friends, may prevent them from accepting their faults, blunders or inappropriate attitude. However, this should not prevent us from throwing light on the mistakes, blunders and inappropriate attitude of our friends and loved ones.

In the worst-case scenario, if we point out the blunders and inappropriate attitudes of our loved ones and friends, we may lose their love and friendship because of their ego; but this would mostly be a temporary situation in your life. The friendship or relationship may come to an end because of their ego, and not because of you. When they realize that you were right and they were wrong, when they face a severe loss because they did not take your advice and disagreed with you, they would either apologize to you or may not have the courage to face you. However, it is their loss and not yours.

Traits of a Biased Person

• He/She is narrow-minded.
• He/She does not have a mind open to others’ suggestions, ideas, opinions and feedback.
• His/Her behaviour reflects excessive Favouritism for a particular individual or a group.
• He/She lacks the ability to judge people and situations.
• His/Her opinions and conclusions are not based on Logic.
• He/She does not analyze whether his/her favourite person (the person towards whom he is biased), is right or wrong.

How can Bias ravage relationships?

I would illustrate a simple example to show you how Bias can destroy relationships. Let me assume that a woman named Antara, is married to Kartik and she is staying with her in-laws. Life is a bed of Roses in the first few months, but later Antara and Kartik fight over an issue, wherein it is Kartik who is wrong and Antara who is right. However, Antara’s father-in-law Sadanand interferes and asserts that it is Antara who is wrong and Kartik is not at fault. What can be the reason for this ? The reason is that Kartik is Sadanand’s beloved son so he cannot be wrong.

The above example proves that Sadanand is biased towards his son Kartik and his unnecessary support towards his son should not be perceived as his love for his son. It is purely Bias or Prejudice. What are the consequences of Sadanand’s biased attitude towards his son Kartik? The trust that Antara had put in her father-in-law Sadanand’s judgement, vanishes. She may argue with Sadanand, and irrespective of whether she argues with Sadanand or not, the relationship between the two is strained.

Let us consider another possibility for the above example. Let us assume that Sadanand is not biased towards his son Kartik, but he dislikes Antara. Does disliking Antara or hating her, justify his action of being biased towards his son Kartik, although Kartik is wrong? Should Sadanand’s dislike for Antara make him blind at the time of judging as to whether Kartik is wrong or Antara is wrong? My answer to this question would be a firm ‘NO’. However, a person’s bias makes him support the person who is wrong and drifts him away from his conscience plus sense of judgement.

In the future, if I am destined to confront a situation in which there is a dispute between my beloved parents and a distant relative on some major serious issue and while analyzing the cause of the dispute if I realize that it is my parents who are wrong and my relative is right, then I would support my relative as well as my parents.

I am sure that the above sentences have created confusion in your mind since you expected me to support either one of the above two parties-which means that you expected me to support either the first party – my parents; or the second party which is my distant relative. But I would support both the parties in two different ways. Honestly, I would support my distant relative who is right and I would also support my parents by making them realize that it is they who are wrong, albeit I would not offend my parents. So I would not favor my parents or would not try to prove to anyone that it is my parents who are always right. I would convince my parents very politely that it is they who are wrong and that the distant relative is right. If I can do this, then I can call myself a very fair, just person who has a clean conscience.

A biased person aggravates the dispute between two individuals or groups, instead of putting an end to it. A biased person cannot be a good mediator between the quarrelling parties. We don’t need judges only in High courts and the Supreme court, but we need a fair judge within each one of us who listens to both quarrelling parties, who understands as well as supports the one who is right, and shows the wrong party or wrong individual where this individual is wrong and why is this individual wrong. Human beings would start listening to their conscience, their inner voice. They would also learn to accept their mistakes which would definitely contribute to their improvement, growth and progress.

A person’s bias always puts a cloak on the mistakes of his near and dear ones, with the belief that it is his duty to support them. However, he can support his near and dear ones in the best possible way by turning the spotlight on his mistakes with the right intention, right tone and without offending his near and dear ones. He should also be a mediator for the quarrelling individuals or groups.

If individuals destroy the biases existing within them, then they are nurturing their ability to judge correctly. If each one of us is unbiased, we will be fair towards each other and Fifty percent of interpersonal problems existing in the world would be easily solved.

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