Almost tomorrow;
And I was a decayed thing, 
wanting to love the elements of
something that pretty- 
Yesterday mortified me, 
the next day will drown me low. 
Getting extinguished by my saviour, 
want to go with the circulation. 

Lavendar and lilac turned muted, 
but my globe turned dark. 
I wish someone noticed, 
those petrifying demolition marks. 

Those imprints on my heart, 
from the end to the start. 
The time capsule that will stay stuck in my throat, 
forever till I depart. 

Wanted it to pour ichor 
but hoped it wouldn't. 
For if I died that miserably, 
my corpse would cry. 
He knows what I need. 
He understands what I mean. 
There's a reason he lets me suffer
but doesn't let me die. 
Maybe he wants to see me live with that agony, 
for a more while. 

Screaming, but no sound
Crying, but no tears
Every night death seems better
than these constant fears. 

Happiness and life, 
everything is over. 
No rain, no hope. 
I want to live long
but die sooner. 

.    .    .