The new beginning of my life was walking across. Her charisma was infectious though. Her talks, her smile, her laugh, it was so infectious. The walk of hers with her hands by her side, the men around her are blurred by her light. Since childhood, the world has influenced us to think only women and men should be together and when I questioned it they shut me down saying it’s so absurd. Well, here I am now, staring at the woman I love who I cannot tell anything to as I don’t know how she will take it. She is the one who makes my heart go pitter-patter like the rain on asphalt. She is like my oasis on a desert island, a star in my black sky, my moon under a starry night. She made me feel the things no one ever made me feel. She made me feel like I was born for something important. She made me feel whole, special. She made me feel I was not an outsider, weird, someone who was said to be wrong. She made me feel right.

But this is all for me. Just me. She sees me as a friend she adores and loves. Steeling my heart, I walked up to her to confess. It stumps me even now as to how someone can be this mesmerizing. I have seen her at her bests and at her worsts and she bared her soul to me while I bared mine. Her soul, her beautiful, beautiful soul, her caring nature, her withdrawing smile, everything just captured my heart and never let me go. I looked at her eyes, but all I can see is the tension and the worry. Bracing myself for the worst, the words “I love you” on the tip of my tongue, I suddenly heard her angelic voice saying, “I love you, I want you, I can never be without you, and I have never met someone who has made me feel loved like you do. I want to hold and tell you about my day as I hear you telling about yours. I want to laugh with you while you’re happy, comfort you when you’re sad, celebrate when you win and help you when you’re mad. I want to be there for you, ups and downs, sides and all. Would you want to stay?”

I couldn’t hear what she said, or I didn’t want to hear what she did say. It was like a dream, thinking I’d wake up if I slapped myself. I was about to do just that, when she held my hand and she fervently said the same words I have been yearning for her to say all this time. She looked at my face and she thought I was not of the same mind. As I see the disappointment seeping through her face, her eyes on the verge of tears, I pulled her in fervently for a kiss she didn’t expect. As our lips touched, it finally felt like home. The place I was searching for, I have finally arrived to my home. She was surprised but still responded with the equal amount of fervor. The tranquility and peace I felt in her arms was nothing I have ever felt in this lifetime. She wanted me and that was all I need. For the first time in my life, someone needs me, reciprocates my feelings, and didn’t outright reject me saying I was gay. As a friend, as a lover and as a family she was the one and only for me. It was never an easy thing for her to say, but she did, I did and so will everyone who wants to love. 

Regardless.  

.    .    .