Last November, I stepped into Ramjas College, which is an affiliated and constituent college of Delhi University. Perhaps many call Mumbai the city of dreams, but for thousands like us, queer folks from middle-class families from remote areas of the country, Delhi University becomes the only dream. For me, the reason to choose Delhi University was that perhaps I would be able to say out loud that I like men as well. I took the Common University Entrance Test (CUET) and got enrolled in Ramjas College.

On November 2, 2022, my first day in Ramjas, I was standing outside Room 007, which is the Ramjas History Department Room, and my school friend, who got admission in the department, all of a sudden asked, “Is everyone straight here?” To which only I replied, “No, I love beyond gender.” For the first time in my life, I came out as a queer person, and I didn’t know that this room and the people associated with it would help me accept my queer identity. Indeed, they did. This room made a major contribution to shaping my present self, who would confidently walk around the campus embracing his queer identity.

Days passed, and I felt free - to be honest, I felt more queer.

In the course of these days, I really met a bunch of wonderful friends at the university. For the first time, I saw that not all men are alike. I remember I used to flirt with every male friend of mine, and they would not mind. I won’t say it was always an easy journey. I was looked down upon, made fun of, and questioned because I wore nail polish and my fashion sense was not so manly, or, to say it clearly, not so humdrum, like many around me.

One of the people who really helped me through the thicks and thins of this itinerary of accepting my queer self was Ramyank. I met him on the first day of my philosophy class, and we exchanged numbers. Later on, we turned out to be best friends. Ramyank was the first man to call me a best friend. Before him, all I got from men was uncanny stares and mockery. In my whole first year, I was mocked in my classes, in college societies, and in the lanes of campus only because I was a queer person, and moreover, I got a septum piercing. Ramyank always held my hand in these times. He never felt uncomfortable with who I am.

Moving forward, back in my hometown, which is not very accepting of the queer community, I was never able to express my queerness. The space that Ramjas and DU provided me was, at least to a great extent, judgment-free. I slowly stopped being concerned about my effeminate character. The schoolboy who never talked to his classmates in school became a social butterfly.

However, in this process of embracing my queer identity, D-school played a significant role. The Delhi School of Economics, which we refer to as D-school, gave me even more liberal space than my own college. My seniors from the history department introduced me to D-school. Once I started going there, I hardly miss going there any day now. I spend more time in D-school than even in my own college. I met a number of queer folks there and people who were accepting of who I am. My seniors at History bore the brunt of my overly expressive, loquacious self, which I never got the space to express in my teenage days. I will always be grateful to them for that. Along with them, one of the professors from the history department also helped me throughout this time. She taught me how it is okay to be queer and live life with dignity.

As a queer individual with effeminate characteristics, I was even made uncomfortable throughout my childhood about how I speak and how I walk. I was always conscious of talking to unknown people, especially men. After coming to Delhi, D-school’s JP Stall’s Dipu bhaiya and Raju bhaiya were the first men whom I could ask for a chai, or for a samosa, without the fear that their masculinity would abhor me. Even today, Dipu bhaiya, Raju bhaiya, and Gullu bhaiya are some of the fewest people around whom I would find my confidence in the clouds.

Delhi University has indeed given me a better space to be who I am. However, at the end of the day, it is the people who make the space what it is. In the course of around one year, I met people who accepted me and many who didn’t. However, still, I feel like never leaving this space because I at least do not need to pretend anymore. I can be queer and an open-and-out one.

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