''My parents do not love me'', ''I am wrong in some ways that's why my parents hate me''.

Do these statements look familiar to you? If ''Yes'' continue reading a small story below.

On a hot sunny day, when all the kids in the streets ran towards the bell of an ice cream cycle shop. It was me on the other side who was also a kid thinking I might get a fever and didn't even, make a move forward. So I somehow made myself focus on the things around me at home but still, my eyes popped outside the window towards the ice cream in the kid's hand. While the shopkeeper made his move away from my streets my heart started to beat fast and automatically my body pushed me towards my doorstep. I opened the door and the ice cream shopkeeper had left.

After that, I felt something more painful than before I didn't know it was regret that time but I had a lot of wild thoughts coming over me.

Some thoughts were like,

You can't even make a decision, You can't communicate properly, you're not bold enough, etc.

At that time I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to say it to my parents but I didn't know why I couldn't make it out.

The next day, I went to school with these thoughts still ruining my mind. I had no choice other than to say or discuss with someone. So I had a friend of mine near me I discussed my issues with him. After hearing about my issues he said,'' You are not brave enough'', '' You don't have guts'' etc, etc.

My thoughts started to accelerate more I couldn't hear or listen to what the teacher was teaching. At that time the teacher called my name and asked a question but I couldn't hear the question itself first it was like my ears were shut. She called me before the class and told me to kneel outside the classroom after some scale beatings I didn't know what was going on around me. Sooner the break bell rang and I ran quickly towards the restroom and washed my face as much as I could to feel present and try to understand what was going on.

After I came out of the restroom there was another add-on to my stress as my friend opened up about these issues which I had with all of my classmates. It started to be a gang of bullying people surrounding me and started accelerating me towards anger with criticism laughter and harmful statements. In a rush, I pushed my friend who felt like a traitor to me at that time and I was attacked by the whole gang of guys.

When I reached home filled with pain of betrayal and hurtings.

I felt like couldn't keep these things anymore.

So, I went to my parents and told them about the issues going on with me, starting with the ice cream incident but before I could complete it. They started to scold and shout at me but the one thing which I found in common between my thoughts and my parents was both were similar. That was the time I realized my thoughts were not my thoughts anymore they were influenced by my parents and they were their thoughts now.

So I knew I was not in a state to explain myself anymore to my parents or friends or anyone. And so I started to isolate myself and find out how to get rid of these things.

After years of thinking and working on myself I found out these statements were the triggering ones for me.

''My parents do not love me'', ''I am wrong in some ways that's why my parents hate me''.

I found that I was accelerating with these statements and also I was trying to be a good boy to my parents. Do you want to know how? Then continue reading.

So as per the first example, if I get a fever more than thinking whether I will suffer or not. I'm afraid that my parents may feel unhappy or disappointed with my actions. So, the Ultimate callback there is they should not hate me thinking I'm going in the wrong way. So obviously I'll do what is right for them thinking that's what they need. Then when they still scolded me even after I did what they said the line called Parents don't love me comes in.

So, in simple the moral of my small story is if you don't love yourself and work in self-love with certain boundaries set with others, you will be influenced by immature parenting or anyone in this society, feel unloved, and you'll start to blame others.

So this is a small story from my life and I wanted to share this with you all. Hope if you had read up to this level this story would have resonated with you.

So, Think Wise and Make your Choice.

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