Therapy! The more you take it, the more you get to know about yourself. I haven’t been in therapy friends, but I want to be a therapist- the one on the other end, who helps people optimize their coping.
I am a psychologist, Folks! A newcomer to this field of therapy, trying to explore it as much as am I trying to learn it. I was 16 when I realized my interest for the same and people around me kept on mentioning how beautiful a therapist I could be. I don’t know what all they saw in me, but 8 years later, here I am, a postgraduate in psychology, still exploring how to go about it. It’s not that I do not believe in my capabilities, but I fail to understand where to begin? There are times when I even doubt if it is ever going to happen, if at all I will be able to develop and practice in that position.
It is ironic how difficult it is to practice the essence of this entire field. There is no fixed way to understand which person would be suitable for you for supervision, which is again an essential investment after 5 years of hard work. Everything is subjective. I sat in an interview for the role of a therapist back in college and found out how more than having the sensitivity to listen to a client, clearing a group discussion was the requirement to get placed. I was a bit disappointed, because I understand how everyone is not prompt at cutting others and keeping a point forward. I got rejected, it was understood then only, when I saw how the interviewer judged a good listener and chose an impulsive speaker over me. I wasn’t heartbroken, but definitely disappointed. It is sad how people belonging to this field, who principally claim to be unbiased and non-judgemental, judge you the most for skills you want to learn and the performances you wish to deliver by making mistakes, owning up to them and correcting them- a mere product of your experiences in the setup.
It’s been seven or eight months since then, I have applied at so many set ups to refine my skills, practice it, and get some kind of supervision, but haven’t received any response. But it was only till last night when I realized it's always necessary to take the first step yourself rather than expecting another individual or organization to act as a catalyst in your journey. It is you and only you who can define what it is to be a therapist. The intent to work on yourself is essential if you wish to be a part of this domain. Work on your character strengths and weaknesses, work on yourself to be human- to be willing to learn, express, own, change, improve!! Work on getting better.
The process is hard, confusing, and ambiguous definitely, but eventually, you understand it is a unique and subjective experience for you. Your approach will be different, and your understanding of every case which comes to you will be different from others. What I have realized is that it is a personal journey, a journey to become better and help others become better versions of themselves. It is equally taxing emotionally as you get to be around people being vulnerable with you, sharing their darkest fears and the dullest of their moments, trusting you as a medium to overcome difficulties/ difficult emotions and come to terms with reality. So, to be sensitive enough towards another human being is imperative- above all. It is a strength to be able to handle vulnerability- most people lack it and so wish to learn it. I am glad I have it. Skill, certificates, licenses, supervision- everything can be earned & learnt, but to be welcoming, to be open to help, to be present with another human being in distress is the key.
It is essential to be human if one wishes to be a therapist. Looking at people around, it has become a rat race, to open a clinic, to have your own practice, to have a clientele, but, honestly, it is not. To be is to be sincere, to become is to be yourself! This is my mantra of becoming what I want to be.
This is my experience and effort towards understanding therapy. I may be correct, I may be wrong, but I now know that it is always personal. This is for all those budding psychologists and therapists who fail to understand and are confused about where to start from, I want them to know that they must start from themselves…!