She was aware of the fact that she would never be able to take a walk around gardens admiring the smell and scent of flowers. Kira loved studying about flowers. How to grow different kinds, the meanings they had, and their influence on their surroundings. Now the only relation she had with them was due to a grave she did not want to forget. Fearing that the dead might somehow change its opinions about her. If it was not for that, she would always stay clear of flowers. The flowers that were once her shelter now only reminded Kira of the day she was burying her dog. She was the only one there but it was not like she had anyone to call for the memorial anyway. Not like anyone else cared enough either. She could not even be frustrated at anyone else. It was all her fault, wasn't it? Her fault for no one being there and her fault for the incident happening in the first place. If only she had been not careful she would not have had to sit next to a grave surrounded by hundreds of flowers all alone. She still found it hard to decipher whether it was to reconcile her dead dog or herself. Either way, she was sure she failed at it, just like she usually does.

Somehow, in her school, Kira's already tainted image got burdened by the death of her dog too. She was not sure about how they found out but she was aware that everyone in the school knew their own twisted version of her life edited to appear however they wanted it to so she was not even surprised. More rumors about her started circulating around the school as if she was the one who killed him. She was in school, sitting on the first seat, alone, once again, since no one wanted to be friends with her. Well, no one except May.

She always heard her classmates talking about her and people looking at her with disgust but she never said anything. "Not everyone can be at fault maybe I really am guilty!" was how she thought. "i can't believe you actually did like the only thing that was left for you to do?" said Kurt with a retort. "you really must be dying for attention here. Did you not get enough already? You have done enough you can stop now" he remarked as other students showered her with a wave of profanities. Ignored. That is what she did. She ignored them. A shove and a bit hard to differentiate between a slap and a punch. That is what she got. Not wanting to let the situation get much worse, she got up and left to go to May's class, allowing them to think they won again.

Kira sat down next to may and put her headphones on to muffle the sound of her classmates still ringing in her ears as if they were still there, following her around. May noticed the seemingly emotionless expression on Kira that normally disappears around her. She knows she doesn't need to wear that mask around may atleast. The face that normally appears to be warm around her was burning her like ice on skin covered with salt then. "hi Kira!! Did something happen?" asked may. Kira just shook her head to say no. "I just want to be there for you ok?" said may carefully probing at Kira which finally convinced her to give a decent reply. "nothing apart from the ordinary" said Kira which made May laugh and say "our definition or ordinary must be very different then. " Finally, the warmth slowly started to appear on her face again. The warmth only May could see. "They don't really know anything so why do they have to talk about made-up stories. It's not even the fact that they talk about it that bothers me it's just how they talk about it. I was careless, I agree but they're mad at me for the wrong reason. Do whatever you want if-" she was cut off by May, "maybe don't give them that liberty either!! Sorry! Continue anyways" "Yes I know but as I was saying, do whatever you want if you are mad at her for the correct reasons. I'd not even leave or question it. I'd tolerate it. Right now they're acting like I killed the dog and I was the one who made all the so-called choices they know about. "Kira quoted the students talking about the way her parents treated her and the way others treated her. She talked about how she has to live alone and fend for herself unless someone is bored and needs something to toy with forgetting that she's also a human and starting to refer to herself as if she actually was just a toy for others. She went on and on until she notices May's face. It was full of concern giving her a saddening appearance. She thought it was because she upset May. She came to an abrupt stop and started. She could see pity in May's eyes.

Moments like this was when she regretted ever opening her mouth. When she started feeling guilty about speaking. Moments like this was when she felt more useless than she usually did. She felt sorry for may having to tolerate her. May realized something happened to Kira but she could my understand what. Just as she was about to enquire, she was showered with a wave of apologies further leaving her confused and with no words to say. Before she could do anything, Kira got up and ran away again. She decided to rush back to her house. She left school early and knew she would get in trouble with many people but she could not care less about any of those people. No one cared unless she was the one messed up. No one cared when people started finding out about the wrongs they did but as if she was the one who did them. They would not notice her this time either. She just feared she would lose her friend. The only person who actually seemed to like her. The only person who genuinely cared about her and did not see her as just a "thing" instead of a someone. She collapsed on the sidewalk of some bridge she could hardly recognize and suddenly she could feel her crying. Her legs gave up on her before she could even reach back to her house. Her fault again. She hadn't eaten a thing in the past few days. If she had not been stupid she would have been fine.

She looked up at the sky and saw the clouds dancing around prettily. She lay there unmoving like a dead person until she couldn't cry anymore. No one tried to help her. It was starting to get dark already. She wondered how no one noticed her. A few cars did pass by. She was slightly glad no one noticed her. She did not want to attract attention. She accepted her fate. In fact, she started wishing for it. She wanted it to happen. She wanted to not be able to save herself this time. The only time she has ever hoped for that. Lying on the ground looking like a painting with random spots of colours on her, waiting for a car to pass by again. Just one reckless driver was what she hoped for but she would never accept that. Just one reckless driver and it would all end and so it did. She lay there like a painting made from wine. No longer having motion or emotions and no longer guilty. It was the first time in her life, she didn't feel guilty. Finally, she could have accepted that she in fact was not guilty but it was everyone else. She lay like a wine spill while the others had their hands painted in red while trying to draw a canvas of her. Perhaps they would finally have some guilt or perhaps she would be guilty anyway. She could not care about it anymore and she could not even know. All she knew was this was the last time she had to run.

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