“Mom, are you ready? Shall we go, or you will need more time?” Rakesh asked Shanti his mother who was sitting in the balcony looking down at the busy street even though a lot was going through her troubled mind. Indeed! The rickshaw was honking, as the vegetable vendor had blocked the street. Aunty Pummy was sweeping her courtyard, the street dogs were barking at the passing cow, in spite of all that was happening on the street, she wasn’t paying attention to it as she was lost in her own thoughts. “Mother, shall we?” Rakesh tried hard to get her attention. Seeing her lost in her thoughts he walked towards her and tapped on her shoulder. Shanti turned towards Rakesh with a serene look even though a storm was brewing within her.
Today, Dr. Puneet Kumar’s condolence prayer meeting was being held in the hospital, he served for thirty years. As Rakesh his son and Shanti was his wife even though they were separated after four years of marriage over a misunderstanding created by a distant family member, they were invited to preside over the prayer meeting.
Shanti was restless the whole ride, as she was uncomfortable with the reminiscence of the past. She had turned down the invite as she had nothing to do with him but the head of the institute was persistent and he told her that they still would be waiting.
They had finally arrived at the venue. Rakesh broke her chain of thoughts by saying, “Ma! Look they have decorated the entrance with flowers and a life-size cut out of Papa. Why so much extravagance? For a prayer meeting?”
The valet service of the hospital, helped Rakesh with his car parking. Mrs. Shanti and Mr. Rakesh were greeted by the hosts and lead into the auditorium. On entering the auditorium, she was amazed as it was filled with people. Majority were his patients he had operated upon, the hospital staff and his colleagues and acquaintances. They were ushered onto the dais and the program began with a prayer song.
“Puneet, you will have to choose if you want your wife or your cousin sister.” Shanti was recalling the last time she visited this very hospital and the verbal exchange she had exchanged with her then husband. It had altered the course of her married life forever. He had just looked at her calmly. There were no assurances from his side. He had left the decision to her. The only reply time and again was to give him time to give up his new-found love. Although Puneet and Shanti had a love marriage and it took them three years to convince their parents but, in the end, love wins all odds. The mundane of life had got to them. After their son was born Shanti got preoccupied with him and Puneet turned to Akanksha his first cousin to kill his solitude and when one thing led to another in spite of being married to other people they got carried away emotionally and now the entire family found their bond needed to be broken as their spouses could no longer take their affection for each other kindly. Shanti had taken her son and walked out on Puneet. Both never filed for divorce but neither made efforts to reunite. Bitterness and unforgiveness that trait was so strong that it left no place for them to get back together.
“We request Mr. Rakesh Kumar to accept the lifetime excellence award which we bestowed on Dr Puneet Kumar for his services rendered in this institution.” Said the master of the ceremony. The sound of clapping had brought back Shanti’s chain of thoughts back to the present. The entire hall arose just to give Dr. Puneet a standing ovation for the untiring and selfless services he had offered over thirty years touching so many lives.
Shanti could not believe how he was their hero while he had totally failed her. She had endured taunts and hardships for the rest of her life just to survive and give the very best to Rakesh. Rakesh on the other hand had turned out to be a fine lad. Seeing her sacrifices, he too toiled very hard and had turned out to be a software engineer and in few years, he was able to give her all the happiness she deserved.
Shanti sat through the entire ordeal in pin drop silence. Rakesh thanked the authorities in his speech and was touched by their gesture. Although he knew his father less but was impressed by the fact that a huge crowd turned up and all had huge praises for his father. After the snacks and beverages on the way out a colleague approached Shanti with an envelope. Shanti did recognize him as he had visited her home when she was happily married.
“Bhabhi! This is for you. Puneet had asked me to give it to you. If he died before you or when he would be awarded posthumously.” Said Dr. Raj. “Please read it once.” This time he was persistent. Shanti accepted it although she wanted to tear it. But it had been so long and she wanted to know what he wanted to tell her in his last days.
The ride back was less stressed. The ordeal was over. Rakesh was also quiet. They reached home Shanti got out of the car to go upstairs, she entered the building and opened the door to her flat while Rakesh choose to go to work. Both of them needed their well-deserved privacy to grieve their loss.
Shanti went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee and then changed herself into something more comfortable and took the coffee and sat on the dining table and then she took a deep breath and sipped her hot piping coffee. It was time to read the letter that Puneet had written to her.
She opened the envelope carefully and then started to read the contents of the letter aloud …
Date: 23.08.1981
Shanti,
I thought to address you as Dear Shanti but I did not deserve to call you so. I don’t Know if you would want me to address you so. So, I kept it so as just Shanti.
Hope all is well your end. I always truly wished the best things in life for you. I never dreamt of such a life for us both. I am sorry that I could not provide the very best and you did not allow me to do so.
I heard Rakesh is doing well in Siemens and is very happy there. May God bless him and let him taste his share of success that life has in-store. Rakesh is such a fine lad. We speak regularly without your knowledge, I am sorry that I offended you, I failed as a husband I didn’t want to fail my fatherly duties.
After you left me. My life changed. The little things which so easily provoked me felt pointless. Akanksha and I split after two months. Because I realized that my priorities were set wrong. I devoted my entire time to my work and to tell you the truth in serving the sick I found a new peace which I got in no worldly pleasure.
Shanti, I think after we split. I understood you more, I loved you more, I respected you more. I wanted you more. I tried all the ways to get you back. Unfortunately, you could not forgive me. I waited patiently so that at least when your wrath cools down you will see my love for you and forgiveness will follow. I dreamt of a better second innings with you. But since you have received this letter my last strand of hope also died along with me.
Shanti, I understood that a marriage is a higher vocation calling, we need to have love, trust, forgiveness, tolerance and above all we need to work on it constantly. It is when we put in kindness we get love in greater measure.
Shanti please forgive me. I know I am not worthy of your forgiveness but I want my soul to rest in peace. The ball is in your coat. If you forgive me, I have left you our house, my savings for you alone, I have already given Rakesh his share, and a dream travel package I want you to go on this trip these are the places I wanted to visit with you. But Alas! We couldn’t make it before when we were together due to lack of funds and after we split you never gave me a chance.
Please call Dr. Raj. His number is with Rakesh. Except this parting gift. What I own, I truly feel the best person to deserve is you alone.
I love you baby.
Please accept this humble offering.
Puneet,
PS: Forgive me.
Shanti had tears in her eyes. She could not believe that Rakesh had hidden the fact that he was in touch with his father against her wishes and had taken his share of inheritance from his father. In her heart, she was also happy that somewhere Puneet understood her and was repentant of what he had done to both of them.
Suddenly all the bitterness seemed to have melted away, she had now found a burden lifted off her chest. She was willing to forgive Puneet after so many years but at what cost they had lost a lifetime together. If only she had forgiven him earlier, life would have been different for both of them. Shanti found a new purpose in life. She understood that Puneet wanted her to be happy and for once she too wanted to be free, she too wanted to enjoy her life which she had lost being bitter and unforgiving. Shanti smiled to herself while tears rolled down her cheeks.
The telephone rang and she walked towards it. “Hello!” Shanti greeted the caller. “Mom, I just reached office, are you ok? Do you want me at your side?” Rakesh asked sounding worried. He had sensed, her voice didn’t sound like it did. “I am fine. I want you to call Dr. Raj because I have a trip to make. This time I want my ‘me’ time. Don’t worry. I think I made it this far, I think I can go on one solo trip.” Saying this Shanthi sounded hopeful. “Mom! You read the letter.” Inquired Rakesh. “Yes! Your father wants forgiveness and he is bribing me for it with a package tour. I have decided to be happy, free and forgiving. I want to start though with a holiday. Now please call that idiot Dr Raj and get my holiday package done.” Replied Shanti.
Rakesh hung the call and was smiling to himself for he knew today his mother was liberated. He was happy that finally, she had reconciled and at peace. Only he secretly wished his father was alive.