Synopsis:

Every generation has taught us lessons. Every coming generation imbibes and improvises the next generation by a culmination of what they learnt and what they taught. This is a wonderful process of Nature allowing us to grow as well as nurture.

Body:

The topic I am touching today is certainly not something new, but churned,boggled-bottled for decades into various labels and adjectives. Psycho Analysts, Motivational speakers, Spiritual gurus, and politicians have and are still opining (will opine in future) on the subject with not much success. Simply, because it will always be a very evaluating, evolving and vulnerable topic for debates, discussions and derivates for judgements.

I have been a perfect example of being labelled as a “Rebellious or a Black sheep” child. Which I am not. I was living under constant guilt and fear of being an odd one in the family first because I was a female and second because I was a child. In a normal Indian (Gujarati) families females are not supposed to voice out their opinions or offer a justification especially when it comes to the discrimination they experience from their parents. Docile, submissive, timid, and surrendering is a norm expected of her. I always doubted myself and succumbed to low self-esteem and lack of confidence due to this. Until One day, I attended a ten-day meditation camp at Osho Meditation Centre, Koregaon, Pune. I read and listened to a lot of Osho's books and videos For the first time I felt someone really understood me and was on the same wavelength as me when I read his book on parenting and saw videos on how parent-child relationship should be. I was so thrilled to learn that I could resonate my situation of being a neglected child with what Osho explained.

Osho never considered himself as a guru or expected people to follow him or be his disciples. He was very upfront, bold and honest about what he felt.

He conveyed that parents being conscious of their authority succumb to tactics of control, manipulation, and exploitation towards their children just to fulfill their ungratified ambition. So normal in a typical Indian family. Incidentally, these traits of the parents make them toxic and sometimes narcissistic. This tendency of controlling (physical, mental, psychological)and suppression by parents is more prevalent with fairer gender in the family.

Rajneesh beautifully conveys that parents should not condemn obedience from children by control but should earn by respect and by understanding. Parents consider a child a rebel because he doesn't agree with their point of view They forget that the child as a growing adult has his point of view, which should be listened and offered an understanding. In a controlling atmosphere, the child may physically listen and agree to his parent's point of view but subconsciously he is building a volcano of negative aggressive emotions/reactions towards his parents. In the course of time, they develop into psychosomatic dysfunctional mental behavioural patterns which gravely hampers his persona as a normal child Till today I find my father and myself, we always feel we are not on the same page. He feels I deliberately don't agree with him or like to argue and I am always under the impression that he never understands me. Result there is no scope of communication because his ego doesn't permit him to listen to me and I find I am not able to convince him. Osho says that a parent-child relationship should be based on communion. The child's obedience should not be manipulated and exploited by parents. In fact, the obedience of the child should be considered as an agent of understanding both ways. Once this happens it motivates into a healthy bonding. Rajneesh also opined that unfortunately today the world has lost the grace in life because there is no understanding among the generations.

Loving your child and at the same time allowing him to appreciate your experiences enables the child to flourish without the notion of being controlled and conditioned. Exerting transparency and clarity in communication makes the child feel welcomed and respected by his parents. The incidence of Generation Gap doesn't exist at all.

Have attempted to pen this narration simply because I know there are lots of children like me out there who are fighting this battle of living in isolation because of a lack of understanding and respect towards the point of view expressed by their parents. Even today when we are viksit and digitally advanced.

Since love has disappeared from our lives we are drifting away from prayers and meditation.

Lastly, would conclude with: Live by imposing understanding and not by enforcing.

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