I have a picture of Samson in my hand, staring at his picture for the last two hours. I'm not bored yet. I like staring at his picture.

Are you gonna spend all your day in bed and staring at his picture, Asked Sara.... angrily also concerned.

She is slim now and looks like she has worked a lot on herself. She looks more beautiful than before. She is also wearing a mixed-coloured saree, ready to leave for school. We met after 10 years, she is living here in Bengaluru and doing a job as a teacher at DPS Bengaluru, and I was not in any permanent place doing a job as a content writer.

Ya! I think I can do this all day and night as I'm jobless and also heartbroken, I replied. But my expression didn't support my words, the word heartbroken was killing me inside as I really didn't know what had happened to me. Ya, I was heartbroken but not that someone broke but I did by expecting things which were not in my control.

Eva, it's okay, you will get another job soon I believe in you. Don't think much but tell me the truth about what happened to you, why you used the word heartbroken and who the hell he is. Why are you staring at his picture, Asked Sara. With concerned and worried expressions.

Sara is not just a word for me but it's an emotion. I and Sara were friends from class 5th, we went to school, college and university together and did things which all out in the world besties do. She knew everything about me better than me and my parents too but the only thing I had not told her was about Samson.

Hope I get a job and to tell you the truth, I will tell you once you are back from school. Now let me sleep, I said. This time I turned my face back so that she couldn't recognise what my facial expression actually showed.

Okay, I will be back at 2:00 pm. Everything is in the kitchen. At least get-up and have your breakfast, she said and left.

I didn't sleep after that, I was in a deep thought about one and only Samson. The impact he has made in my life was unhealable, how hard I try to end up thinking or creating a scene with him in my imagination. I feel lonely now so I decided to call my parents as that will distract me a little. So, I dialled my mom's number. Dad would be busy in his office, he is a businessman. I didn't talk much with them, we only shared good or bad news. My mom picked up my call and all she said was how are you? These three words made me cry but I didn't let her know how much I have just stored pain in my heart. We had a little chit-chat. That's it i ended the call and found myself alone again. Just to pass the time I had my breakfast and slept again for 4 hours.

At 3:00 pm ‘o’ clock she returned back and showed me lying in bed in the same way and also in the same position.

Wow great what did you do to yourself Eva, you were never like this what did you do to yourself, Asked Sara yelling really loud and who the fuck that boy in the picture what did he do to you tell me the truth Evaa else I'm gonna throw his picture in the dustbin, She was angry also frustrated.

Okay, I will be honest with you will tell the truth first you calm down,i said. She is a little relieved now but still angry.

You look cuter when you are angry to be honest Sara, wait let me take pictures of you, I said in a funny way.

Sara is literally white like milk so when she is angry her face turns red like a tomato.

Eva, Are you going to start or should I throw his picture? She asked angrily.

Fine, I'm gonna be honest with you, I said.

Great, tell me I will not interrupt you until and unless you finish, said Sara.

Ok here we go, He is Samson from Mumbai. We were in the same office. As you know I hate talking with boys or making friends.

But… You can guess what is gonna happen next. She is still staring at me angrily so I continued.

There was some work in the office which we needed to do together, then we didn't just work together but started to meet after office. In just two months he changed the perception I had made in my head about boys.

He was too emotional, friendly, funny and a little handsome too. Yuck I'm calling a boy handsome see what he did to me.

He was like I had imagined as a boyfriend, caring and all, so I fell for him. I don't think I will be able to tell you anymore. And I can feel tears falling down my face as soon as she shows tears, hugged me.

It's okay Evaa everything will be ok don't worry I can wait don't force yourself but why didn't you share this with me before, said Sara.

No, Sara... I want to tell you everything it's already too late also I was waiting for the right time to share with you actually I thought I would share good news but I saw crying in front of you, I said. She hugged me again and I felt relieved. So I continued telling her.

Love is friendship which on caught fire.

To be honest Sara, I really do love him. Shit how can I fall for any boy I don't understand even now also, is it too easy to love someone, no it's not, it's really not and again I felt my tears falling and this made me feel weak.

It's okay Evaa, we will figure it out everything will be normal don't worry I'm with you, I wish I could take some pain from you,

Said Sara. What happened next?

Did you confess? Asked Sara.

Ya! But the night I lost my job I knew I was gonna leave this place and his reply would be sorry we are just good friends you deserve better than me, so I confessed and as I expected the answer was the same.

I'm sorry you have to go through this you should have told me before at least I would have been your personal listener, said Sara.

I was not sure what to do so, let that feeling be within me, I said.

That was not your right decision although what happened next like before confession, Asked Sara.

Hmm…. Before that, we enjoyed being friends. I didn't even let him know that I expected more from him but my feelings for him were real without that kind of expectations. I was just feeling like giving him as much as I could, that feeling was without any expectations to want anything in return. I did the things which I used to call cringe or make fun of.

Is it real that when people are in love they do things which he/she would have not even imagined? “Hahaha”

I hid my feelings from him for 1 year. He had no idea I was happy, literally enjoying being in that moment. Ya, I know I'm sounding stupid but this is what I was at that time. Can you imagine I'm saying these things?

You know what worst happened, he started to like a girl she was a new intern to be honest ya she was beautiful. He started to spend much of the time with her and I couldn't even say a word to him that made me depressed. I was not able to focus on my work, I didn't sleep well, or eat well, and because of my bad performance, I was kicked out of my office.

As you can see now I'm out of office, out of his life sitting in front of you and crying like my life is gonna end.

One thing he said was right was that you deserve better than him ya you deserve best, don't think about him let him go to hell, said Sara. Her facial expression shows that if he had been right in front of her she would have kicked him.

She knows she is hurt
She knows he didn't feel the same
Still she chooses him, over every consequence
~ Shruti

I wish I could let him go. His thoughts trouble me. It's hard, Sara. This pain is unbearable. I can't explain how I feel right now, I said.

I know it will take some time. You will be okay soon, said Sara. She started crying. In fact, we both started crying. For at least half an hour we were silent and then Sara said Let's go out.

You will feel okay.

.    .    .