“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” - Marie Curie
The well-known proverb is ‘Fortune Favours the Brave’ but for the sake of creating Alliteration I have modified it a bit. The proverbs are always a guiding force for us as life lessons and we are reminded of them at every walk of life. The above proverb has helped me throughout my life and I have followed it so far. My father has played a major role in making me fearless. He introduced me to the real world at a very young age and made me independent. That was how I was handling his bank work at 13 years of age. I am extremely grateful to him for these lessons. It gave me courage to face tough situations in life later.
As a teacher I have always tried to inculcate this fearlessness among my students. In fact I have seen parents instil some kind of fears in their minds and I have always discouraged parents from doing so. They argue that these fears make the children behave as per the parents’ wish. The extreme logic to this situation is the children will learn the same lesson and will threaten the parents when they grow up to get things done their way. It is a very serious matter but not much attention is paid to this.
Many times teachers try to use this technique of fear factor, about the punishment, less marks in examination and so on. In my opinion children should be disciplined not because they are going to be punished but because it is important to lead a happy life. Unfortunately, the approach of looking at discipline is different. We must set an example of disciplined behaviour in front of the children. If teachers reach late to school then how can they punish students for being late? Students should reach the school on time, not because they are going to be punished but because it is a disciplined system of the school which is binding on all the members of the school; right from the Principal to the watchman. This is just one example.
What is true in school is true at home. This kind of approach will help students to be disciplined and fearless.
Same is applicable to examination. Students should not study because they will fail. The fear of failing will lead to any possible way to pass; including cheating during the examinations. The interest developed in studies and the confidence gained out of that will automatically motivate them to study; self-study!
The students committing suicide for their failure, isn’t it out of fear? The competition among the students is the cause. When a child realises that he is unable to keep up with the competition he decides to quit. Who instils this competitive spirit in them? Is it the system, the parents, the teachers? The fear to face the truth that he or she is unable to stand the competitions is the reason for such a drastic step. I request all the parents and the teachers to check what your children wish to do. Guide them accordingly and help them stand on their feet; even if it is any field of career. Isn’t a life of a child more important than anything else?
This process of creating fear in the mind is not limited to school alone. It is also connected to religious activities. It is necessary to think why do we worship God? Are we God loving people or are we God fearing people?
I would love to inculcate this thought among children to worship God out of love for Him. It is necessary for all of us to remember that God is not a Human Being living in the 21st century who will punish us for not following the right ritual or for not performing certain religious activities. We can’t have any kind of deal with God. Worshipping God and faith in God should make you fearless. If you believe that God will help you in every difficult situation then there is no need to fear. But does this actually happen?
I have an interesting experience to share. Few years back I was travelling in a private car from Konkan to Pune with my two friends at night. The driver knew that there was a peculiar area on the highway which was not safe. He just informed us that from that point he would not stop anywhere till we reach Pune. I agreed and I also understood what he was trying to convey. One of my friends wanted to know the meaning of his information. Since she insisted I told her about that particular area. Listening to this she was so much afraid and she started blaming me for choosing the wrong time and the route of travel. Then she started reciting some religious ‘Mantra’. But that would not remove the fear from her mind. I told her that she is the regular follower of God, practices fasts and worships regularly and now she is remembering God to help her, so she should be confident enough that God would help us. But somehow she was not convinced. On the other hand, me and my other friend were fine. I strongly believe in God though I don’t follow regular rituals but I am sure that God is always with me in any situation and He guides me in my life. It is important that our worship should give us confidence and make us fearless.
Fear of failure is very common. What happens if we fail? Failure to achieve high position, good marks, recognition, money, fame, admission to specific course, respect in the family or in the society has become the core of almost everyone’s life. What happens if you fail? The life doesn’t end. But is it worth carrying that fear to forgo your sleep, peace of mind, relations, health?
Today we also watch the news where there is lot of violence taking place around us. What is the reason for this violence? The basis of every violence is the fear. It is the fear of losing something or someone. I think it is important to focus what we actually want? Then we will be able to understand whether we really want or need something they we are so much struggling for.
Another reason for this violence is loss of patience. It is 2 minute world and the youth of today has no patience to wait for the results. They are brought up with speed and instant things and that has affected their life greatly. They have forgotten the proverb patience gives sweet fruits’ ‘सब्र का फल मिठा होता है|’
When I see the violence happening around me I am disappointed. Of course there was a time when life tempted me to be a part of this competition, I failed and then realised the value of true happiness in life, value of peace of mind in life. So here I am trying to appeal to people to have a serious thought about your life. The people, relations, health may sound bookish but it’s the true happiness of life. The fear is actually the fear of unknown. Many times we are unaware of our goals. May your goals be abstract rather than materialistic. That is the guaranteed path to achieve peace of mind and happiness. That’s all we need on life.
In the modern world, Social Media platform is one more factor that creates fear. Most of us are connected to the world through this social media. It has become a trend to post almost every activity on social media. The maximum benefit of social media, I feel, is for marketing agencies to advertise or market the products and services. In that sense it is the most effective tool.
But the young generation has a different purpose on social media. They post some activity and wait for the likes and comments they receive for a particular post. Then there is an unseen competition among these posts. What if your post is not seen or appreciated by many? What happens because of that? It is felt that one is neglected. This creates a great impact on their minds.
Keeping the status on social media is also one more factor. I have seen small children playing video games where they dash cars or heavy vehicles or kill some people virtually. But what impact does this have on their minds? It makes a person less sensitive towards the harsh reality of life: death. They lose importance of the word ‘Status’ or lose the sensitivity towards life. This is actually a matter of fear. It is necessary to understand that social media is virtual world which is much different from the real world. Somebody who doesn’t even use social media earns huge ‘likes’ by the real world. One who is neglected on social media may be the most coveted personality in the real world. In my opinion this is the actual fear. We must bring our children out from this virtual, unreal and deceptive world of social media and introduce them to real world where they have to face challenges, work hard, be sensitive human being, earn likes in real life and build a status yet lead a peaceful life.
It is also a psychological technique that we should convert our weakness into strengths. We should learn the process of this conversion. Facing our weakness is one way of overcoming it. So if fear of anything is a weakness then we must face it to overcome it. Fear of darkness, fear of driving, fear of water and many others make our lives difficult. Hence it is always better to face these fears rather than running away from them. Being honest, true to oneself, confident, hard work and willingness to accept our mistakes are some of the virtues that will lead to the fearlessness of human life. I want to frankly admit that I have paid a heavy price in life to understand and realise these facts. Hence I hope the readers find this article useful to lead a fearless life.