It is that time of the year again when parents readjust their schedules to align with the schedules of their wards preparing for the competitive exams, working mothers take leave and families sacrifice vacation plans to support their young ones. These youngsters have been burning the midnight oil for years. It is battle time, albeit without guns!! After all, the future of lakhs of youngsters will be decided by these exams. It is a test of their academic prowess, their resilience, their ability to withstand pressure and time management. It is a moment of reckoning when newspaper headlines will announce the achievers, coaching centres will rush to claim credit, news anchors will line for an interview, the young ones will be feted, and rightly so. After all, the winner takes it all. But what about the ones who could not make it in spite of their best efforts? Does anyone spare a thought for them?

28 students in the prime of their lives committed suicide in just one year in Kota. There was one common thread connecting them- the pressure to excel in academics and make it to the coveted IIT or Medical College. Twenty-eight precious lives snuffed... 28 families were bereaved. The tragedy is humongous in terms of the loss of human resources but the factories of Kota continue to churn out assembly lines potential engineers doctors etc. Kota is just a small town in the educational landscape. There are thousands of coaching centres that charge a premium and yet parents make a beeline for these centres.

All students are not cut out to be engineers or doctors but they have no choice. Unlike the West, where Humanities is given its rightful place, aspirational India is obsessed with engineering and medicine. Even pure sciences have taken a hit in the past few years. Consequently, there is a lopsided balance between the arts and sciences. We need scientists, doctors and engineers, but we also need artists, poets and writers. Imagine a world bereft of beautiful paintings, great literature and talented performing artists. It would be a bleak world indeed!!! Many a budding writer’s creativity is nipped before the imagination has taken complete flight. Many talented sportspersons have sacrificed their aspirations and taken the well-trodden path. After all, we as parents are fine with our children pursuing sports or dance and music as a hobby, but a full-time career in these fields makes us uncomfortable.

On average, engineering colleges across India churn out 1.5 million engineers in different streams per year. Many of these graduates remain unemployed or have to be reskilled to become employable but the stamp of a prestigious Engineering College is the gateway to astronomical packages. No wonder then that the JEE Mains has a staggering twelve and a half lakh applicants and the early preparations for the same commence as early as the 5th standard. Unfortunately, we have taught our children that failure is a dirty word. Forget MIT, after fierce competition, only a few thousand make it to the prestigious IITs. Have we taught the others that numbers suggest that they might not make the cut? What then? Is that the end of their existence? The answer is a Big No.

Where does the solution lie? Everything begins with self-esteem. Positive and inspirational talk when the child is dejected and disappointed is imperative. Our children have to understand that neither success nor failure, is final. An important lesson that all parents and teachers need to learn is that marks are not the end-all and be-all of a student’s existence. Happy, well-adjusted children will lead more fulfilling lives than stressed, burnt-out ones. We teach our children the means to earn a living but do not teach them how to truly enjoy the fruits of their labour. Consequently, students chase one milestone after another, running after the elusive success, never really taking a moment to savour the beautiful journey. In pursuit of success, they forget to pursue happiness. Teach our children to enjoy the journey and enjoy the little things in life. These little things are the real pearls in the thread of life.

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