Love is sick or sucks.
The reaction after you read that line tells what you feel. Your eyes do they hate me or do they long for love? I felt a rise in a heartbeat is it yours or mine? Or was it my hallucination all along? Guide me through the path written for me or you believe me to break it just like that. Do I have to act like it doesn't mean anything when every shit hurts without you? When what is done is done, how come my life feels done with that thought? How much do I have to clean my specs until I realize that you're not there in the frame? I'm like a traveller who's in search of water in an empty desert, fooled cuz I can't identify a mirage for a reality. Cover up that face of sadness with drapes of fake smile. As per Chinese tradition if two people are bound by a red thread they end up getting married. How come I'm tied to the hell itself? Why it won't leave me, why my heart is bound with strings squeezing in every second with my heartbeat. Nerves getting cut off like threads, bleeding blood dripping like a red carpet for a show. Things won't seem normal to me anymore.
Don't leave me alone hold my hand and bring me back to life. Break these strings with your love that binds my heart. Look into my eyes, let my iris expand at the beautiful sight and remember your silhouette not by your face. Let me live with the desire to find you and make you mine. The kindness oozing output of your lips seems like a whole new world to me. They say women's heart is so sensitive don't hurt her, but what about us don't we have the same sensitive heart or are we from some different planet? From childhood our hearts have been hit with so many things, that our hearts stopped having feelings, inexpressive and numb to everything. But still here and there when you meet people like her it responds with the brightness of the galaxy and when it breaks, the heart goes through a million explosions of the stars in the galaxy. Was I wrong to have feelings for a girl or me loving itself is wrong? Why things which I long for won't come true. How come my life became upside down like the Titanic submerged in the ocean? Do I have the free will to laugh when everything hurts when you're not with me? Sometimes I think how come I'm this attached to you when I can't even talk properly with people? I can't even bear the thought let alone the reality of someone beside you instead of me. Will I be swept away from your memories like the waste from the beach? Am I wrong to still long for you? Yeah, I'm but am I?. Why is this more confusing than big bang theory? Sometimes I feel like I want to hug you and cry out loud and scream all my pain. I fear maybe this pain alters pain in you, so I resort to this decision. I want to keep you happy since I can't do this I wish for you to be happy. Love is a selfish thing, why does hearing that you're happy hurt me when I should be happy? I'll drain all my happiness if it means you'll be happy all the time.
Eyes do tell the truth look into mine next time. You'll know what I'm hiding behind those small eyes. Every song I hear , every girl who looks even somewhat similar to you, and every thought about you makes me smile like a child. Was I able to create a memory that will make you smile whenever you think about me? Like the smoke, my consciousness is slowly fading away. But you still deserve better than me. One like me who's not useful for anything is no better. I'm so stuck up in love or a cage I labelled as love. I'm not doubting what I felt for you, it's just why for everything there'll be an end but why there's no end to my falling tears. If my tears bring you happiness in return like the autumn before the spring, I'll gladly keep on shedding these.
Your one touch is enough to melt my soul. I want to lie in your lap and see your happy face and take this moment in me so that I won't forget ever again. Those brown eyes are like honey, I'm scared that someone else presence will take them away from my eye contact. That smile which brings all festivals for me at once, won't I be able to see that once more . Won't I get to see that every day I woke up, won't I get to hear your voice calling my name, won't I get a chance to feel your touch, won't I get to hold those hands which feels like will melt if left alone, won't I get to follow those footsteps? If this all happens how come we'll call it life?
Getting another person is not a big thing, but a person like you who makes me ME. That I can't get in anyone. I don't want to share this love for you with anyone. I hate the thought of that. I don't want another person to replace your presence. I yearn for that smile just to live another day. I want to hear about your favourite stories, all gossip you have, all secrets, i want you to feel safe and comfortable with me.
Saying bye itself is hard for me, to think there'll be a day when i have to say goodbye and leave. It feels like getting caught in a tsunami and being drown in the deep ocean succumbing to the pressure leaving my breath with tears in my eyes to turn up as a carcass. If I have the power to rewrite this can I get back my life, since you're my life?
I wanna spend my life with you. I want to sleep on your chest and lap, I want to cuddle forgetting my worries of the whole day. I want to make you ready, I want to drape your saree, I wanna click tons of your pics and show everyone how beautiful my girl is. I want to treat you like a princess, I want to cook for you, I want to feed you. This is the kind of romance I had in mind. Now I can't imagine these with another girl.
People say the person who remembers everything is so good. Sometimes it's not as good as they say, something you saw may dig up your memories related to this scene, colour. Whatever it may be it'll bring you sadness only. If it's a happy memory, then sad cuz you're not there to experience it again, if it's a sad memory, my eyes are crying out begging why it happened.
Multiverse is a parallel world where the same people live a different life. Does it exist, are we there in that? People say if there's us in a different universe let us be happy there at least. I like the thought of it, but why think about the world when we don't know whether it exists or not? It's nice to have that feeling of thought. But what about this universe now, what will happen to us now? Does no one have that thought? Fate is really cruel, it takes what you want and will give what it thinks is NYC. Life is pretending to be satisfied when you don't get what you want. Life is a mask of lies with a display of fake smiles with lava flowing through our hearts inside bearing everything and one day becoming ash due to that lava itself.
One day this will come to an end. One has to leave and one should forget. I don't want my love to be a hindrance for you in your life. Just live the way you love. Everyone will love you cuz you're more lovable than anything in this world. Smile, laugh, spend your time with your loved ones, spread your wings into the sky, and cry cuz of happiness but never due to sadness. Whatever may happen or whatever may come I'll always be there watching you from afar. I'll rush to you if you need me. But I hope that day never comes. This is the time I have to leave as I bag up my love to throw into the abyss. Without any thoughts move forward so much good is waiting for you in your life.
Then this will be the final goodbye
If our paths were to cross show me your smile full of happiness I'll be content with it. Just my small request if another life is really there if then please meet me from the start itself i don't want to live a day without you in that.
My heart always belongs to you and I live heartless waiting for you.