It's 6 am on Monday. Lying in my bed, I am thinking about what I dreamed just one minute back in my sleep. Not able to remember it. I start checking my phone. People have a routine fixed for their mornings. I have mine too. To scroll at least six reels, and by that, even my eyes open up, and I can see more clearly. The first ray of light in my eyes is the brightness of the phone.
"How pathetic of me", I think.
While getting ready to go to college. I once again check my calendar not that I have something important to do. But I check it because from tomorrow we are going to have our 10 days of vacation. I especially love going to college or school on the last day because there is something magical in the air and even the plants and trees seem generous with blowing the wind around.
I reached my college. The environment is the same as always. There are a few who are always sleepy. I sometimes come in that category, some are talking and laughing, and some are on their phones. Everybody joins each category turn by turn. Today my friends and I started our day with the talking and laughing category.
It's a group of three.
One of us yawned.
I asked, "Didn't you sleep last night?"
"No, I slept, but it wasn't a sound sleep." She said.
Then I remembered that I was trying to think about a dream but I couldn't seem to remember it. I asked my friends, "Do you remember what you dream about at night, or do you forget? They said, "Sometimes we remember and sometimes we forget."
It's 10 am, I am sitting for my second class, and I think I am going to join the sleepy category in the next 5 minutes. I try my best to keep my eyes open.
The teacher is interesting. She is like a person with whom you always feel the calmness around. We, students, discuss a lot about her. We always feel like she is the main character of the entire college, and we are just living in it. In her introduction, she said that she is very much interested in learning about farming and also has her own nursery (plants).
"Note down your homework for this vacation," Ma'am said.
Every student moaned in distress. I could even feel the sweet wind leaving our classroom.
"Don't worry, it is nothing related to the subject. I will give you something that you all are interested in and something that I am interested in," she said.
"So what are you all interested in?" she asked with a curious face.
None of us answered. Most of us were looking at each other to answer and some of us were still half asleep.
"Maybe you'll write about dreams since you all are always sleepy," Ma'am answered for us.
"I am interested in gardening since you all know," she said.
While dusting chalk powder from her hands and picking up her books she continued, "Then it's final I want all of you to write something about dreams and gardens in whichever form you like to write."
The rest of the day I was pretty sleepy and I know for sure that I am not going to sleep at night. But as soon as we reached the parking area of the college. I was wide awake and active again.
The ten-day vacation feels more overwhelming than the normal summer vacation that we used to get during our schooling. But now we have to manage everything in these ten days only.
Before we used to make a timetable for our studies but now I am making a timetable for my vacation. I don't write it down, I only make it in my head.
And that is how the first two days of a vacation are just spent. In the void. Because there are a thousand things on my mind that I want to do.
Don't ask me where the first two days of my vacation went. It's like someone just wiped out those two days from my memory. Just kidding!!! I do remember exactly what I was doing, which was nothing. But telling myself that I don't remember what happened makes me less guilty
Day 3 of Vacation
As a kid when we get vacations we don't have to think about cleaning and dusting or even helping out our mother. But for some reason, you have to do this as soon as you cross your teenage years. It's not like our mothers keep scolding us always about helping her but sometimes even we do it without them asking. Because when I don't help her out, sometimes I feel guilty.
But then there is a twist here, for even once if you ignore your gut feeling about helping your mother. She then starts scolding, so the moral here is never to ignore your gut feeling.
So yes, I was cleaning my room, and now I have to go and help my mother.
Day 4 of Vacation
As a business student, the first thing you think about the organization is how to plan. I have and am pretty sure most of us have heard the word plan in our daily routine. Now we are planning on our grocery shopping which we do early morning because as a family we collectively don't like other people or even worse interacting with them
I start writing the usual list and then add a few extra things in the end. I asked Mom if we were forgetting something. She said, "Yes, you didn't add an item "
"Which is?" I asked in kind of a harsh but sweet way.
"Add the mango pickle as well, we don't have it at home
But we always get it from our neighbors I said
As we live in society, even if we don't talk much with people around us. We sure include them in our good times and bad times. But not in our mundane times.
So I forgot that the lady who used to send us a jar full of pickles every year has passed away because of COVID-19. I found the news of her death very strange. Because if we know the person and interact with them daily such kind of news will make our eyes teary. But what about if we interacted only once a year? What kind of reaction will such news bring to us?
I just felt uneasy, which was like feeling constipated for tears or any kind of emotion.
At night, my mother makes my favorite dish during the vacation. I mean she always does but for some reason, it always tastes much better during the vacation. While she was preparing the meal I was just standing and observing her and also was helping her a little. During the final touches of the meal, she asked me to taste it.
"Here, taste and tell whether everything is fine or not?"
I tasted it and, like always, everything was on point.
I asked, why didn't you taste it?
She replied that, OH! I can't taste anything since COVID-19.
It did impact us a lot
I think there is nothing as the new normal anymore because I don't think any of this account is anything resembling normal.
Day 5 of Vacation
As I am getting habituated with the vacation life and finding some peace with it. I always remember something my great-grandmother said about being happy or being at peace. She said that she worries anytime she is happy because we all know that it goes away at some point in time and this thing is just stuck in my head and keeps on playing in a repeat mode as soon as I am happy.
As I was thinking about this thing my mother came and asked me what am I going to wear for a party tonight.
The only thing I hate about vacations is that you cannot ditch a party with an excuse for college or studies. You have to attend it no matter what. I go to the party to eat and observe people. That's it, that is my only goal in parties or maybe even in life. My mood will always be on the verge of turning sour. So to give it a push some random uncle or aunty will pass a stereotypical comment on anything in that room.
Just to give an example the uncle was once going on about how studies are not important for girls. During such moments I just want this situation to turn into those perfect women empowerment commercials where the uncle will learn the lesson in less than 5 minutes.
But unfortunately, such things don't happen in real life.
Day 6 of Vacation
Four movies and 2 TV shows later, I got a message from my friend asking if I completed my homework.
I will start tomorrow, I reminded myself.
Day 7 of Vacation
It's 6:30 pm. I am scrolling through my phone mindlessly. In about half an hour. I get up and think about in which form I should start writing my homework. Without making any prior decisions which is bad for management student who has been taught to always plan. I thought of just asking any of my family members about nature and dreams.
I first approached my grandmother and asked her whether she remembered her dreams about last night or not. I was sure her answer would be no due to her old age.
"I do remember most of them", she said
I was just looking at her and thinking whether it was her sarcasm or if she was kidding. But I have been reading her face pretty much from my childhood. So, I could say that she was sincere in her answer.
I then asked her, "Do you know anything about farming or nature in general?
She made her know-it-all-face and said, "I don't know about farming but I pretty much know about gardening."
Really? But how come I never see you gardening? I asked.
She pointed towards the main gate of the house where there was just a parking area and asked, "Where is the space to have a garden around?"
She continued that the only time people have plants outside their houses is when they want to establish that the small part of the road is theirs.
I didn't have any answer. But I must say I was pretty impressed with her that day.
I had my dinner, and the conversation with my grandmother was playing on repeat like a channel before going to sleep.
Day 8 of Vacation
It's around 9 am. Lying in my bed. I was thinking about my dream last night. I remember it this time. I was talking to my grandmother about something and I think it was an interesting conversation.
I am waiting around the house to talk to my grandmother. But she has the same routine going on each day. Finally, I found her sitting idly in her room.
She is sitting on her wooden chair, which is older than her.
I am sitting opposite her on a bed.
I started my interview by asking her, "Where did you learn gardening from?"
She blushed upon hearing this question. I think I know my answer. "From your grandfather", she said, still smiling.
"Your grandfather had a real interest in gardening.", She continued
Was it his hobby? I asked
"No," she said without missing a beat.
"Gardening was never a distraction for him. Gardening was his life.", she continued.
I tried to change the topic as it was getting a little intense.
I asked her, "How do you remember the dreams you saw last night?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't have any technique as such to remember them. I think I remember it because I try to focus on pretty much everything, which is why I have a routine.
As she was saying this, she looked at her clock and exclaimed, "It's time!"
Not sure what she meant by that, I asked her, "What time?"
"To go back to my routine", she said, giving me a look. Which was my cue to leave her room.
When she said that, I felt like she was going back to some other planet.
Day 9 of Vacation
It's 9 am. Lying in my bed. My mind is anxious about completing the homework leaving my mind no space to think about my dream last night.
After her routine is done. I went and asked my questions again.
"How did you feel whenever you were in your garden?", I asked.
She thought for a while and said, "I always felt alive near the plants."
"Why do you think you felt that way?" I asked.
"I think we all feel alive the most when we are making the effort for something. In this case, whenever I used to nurture these plants in those moments, I used to feel like maybe this is what eternity means not just keeping living in infinite time." She said it with a lot of hand movement.
"Every day I used to feel like it was my first day in that garden.", she continued
I was trying to process everything that she said.
I then started writing my homework. I wrote it in the form of an essay. As I was writing, I realized why I couldn't remember the dreams I see at night. It's because I don't focus on life itself, how am I going to focus on my dreams and remember them?
As I completed my homework. I was happy because I always used to complete it one day before the reopening of school/college. I had a sound sleep at night.
Day 10 of Vacation
It's 6 pm. I am packing my bag and thinking, how is it evening already? This day went by soon compared to other days. It feels like a Sunday evening, which always makes me sad. I don't know why. I always felt like this on the last day of vacation since I was a child. I was trying to sleep early that night. But I was thinking about whether I will ever have a garden in my life or not. While contemplating all of this. I concluded that till I have a garden of my own, I will try and pay attention to the trees or plants around me or just life in general.
Day 1 of College After Vacations
I had my whole morning routine and reached the college a little early today. My friends were not here yet. I then noticed that the air around me was something as magical as it was on the last day of college.
"I think I never pay attention to the air around me most of the days". I thought to myself.
My friends came around and asked whether I had done my homework or not."
I nodded and said, "I did."
I gave her my book, and she had a confused face and asked, "What is this?"
I said it's an essay on dreams and gardens.
She had a slight smile on her face and said, "No one did this homework as ma'am is not giving marks for it. This homework is just a fun activity. I was asking about another homework. Which does consist of marks." She said, but by this time, she started laughing.
"I need to pay attention in my life now.", I said.