Human beings for centuries have established communities to integrate and protect themselves from external threats, manifesting in the form of wild animals, another tribe of humans, or natural calamities. Even if the average person across centuries under various forms of government ranging from monarchy to democracy to communist hasn’t given any scientific phenomena or theory which can change the course of history such as the Laws of Motion, he has at least established a family and brought the next generation into the world so that the cogwheel of societal functioning operates smoothly. It’s because of this basis that each human being feels, even outside the confines of their accommodations, that a stranger would interact with them comfortably and won’t cheat them. But the term “parenting” has been used in daily situations regarding the behavior of parents in different sets of contexts and expectations so much that its real meaning and process have never been looked at or researched.

The word “parenting” has always been deduced by the layman as the interaction between the parents and their kids, and how well the kids are being raised by their parents. But, one might question and challenge the definition and ask, “If the kids were to be raised right, then whose actions and personalities were to be checked so that the kids are upright?”. Many parents have this misconception that they have a great sense of how to be a parent, but how do they know that? Claiming something and doing something are two entirely different concepts. The term “parenting”, if it were to be broken down, one would come to the realisation that it has everything to do with the actions and behaviour of the parent till the time they leave this world. The word has no correlation with your son or daughter. Most of the time, we believe because of the notion that we have is that we know best what is right for children in terms of their career, health, personal relationships outside of their family, as well as their mental and emotional well-being.

These notions and reactions have never been questioned or analyzed via critical thinking and have been passed down into our emotional DNA over generations that they have been normalized. These traits, which have been normalized, not only have a tremendous impact on the mental and emotional well-being of the next generation but also on the demographics, economy, and society at large.

Referring to the previous point about the term parenting, it is imperative that we question and master the notions that have been passed on for generations, because if we fail to do so, we’re bound to head towards catastrophic results in our relationship in regards to our kids. Earlier in the 20th century, young men and women were getting married for the most part at a very young age and in circumstances which would not be considered as the norm such as at a very young age without seeing or meeting your prospective partner, women sometimes getting married at 15 or 16 years old, getting married while continuing your studies and having kids without any plans regarding our education and looking at the larger society and how many kids does a family want, having your in laws or relatives getting involved in your martial life to define or set your relationship as well as not defining your own personality in terms of what you want from life. Nowadays, if either of these fails, it can tip the balance scale to the other side. Earlier, the economic factors were not very favorable, but even then, parents were getting their children married and forcing them to have kids, and this could be very tragic for generations to come. We could define this in terms of a story, it's 1950s, Delhi, where a young man in his early 20s gets married to a young teenage girl in her late teens. Neither of them not very educated. The man works as a clerk in a post office somewhere in a different state and doesn’t come back for months, and the wife works back home with the money she receives from her husband. They’ve got five kids and they live in a small slum with corrugated rooftops with little to no privacy between them and their neighbours. Now, this could be interpreted by many as something normal, and that is where we fail to see the impact of such a scenario. Firstly, the kids, without seeing their father for months, are growing up practically without a father who cannot control their behaviors and with whom their interacting. Secondly, both the mother and father being uneducated and not very economically sound cannot help all their kids being raised in an already deficient environment, not just financially, but emotionally as well. Third, the lack of privacy could also potentially mean that the children growing up might see some unsavory things that won't help them fit in an environment. Fourth, the lack of attention to kids as well as obeying by the advice of their grandparents of having five kids to keep them happy and entertained might not bode well as the neglect from parents and ill mannered background might contribute to the development of mental illnesses which could eventually be passed down from generation to generation and with the stigma around mental illness, the condition might get exacerbated and they might never get cured. Fifth, overpopulation due to long notions of pleasing elders also worsens parenting techniques.

This could also be observed as a national security issue because when the government isn’t going to come up with a policy to define their stance around population regarding each state and you couple the problem with several other problems such as improper housing facilities, lack of education, security issues, lack of better mental health care facilities, false court judgements, improper infrastructure, lack of family, societal and psychological values and laws that define the mental well being of a human being and also so that he or she can seek compensation when they have been marred psychologically then you’re bound to give rise to a generation which is going to be frustrated and let their anger and moods dictate them to dangerous consequences.

The values of a particular community are also to be held accountable, and not just the laws. If the government has provided resources and established laws to help a minority community, but the community has this belief that some upper class community is still oppressing them despite them having all the rights, and then they don’t higher education as they believe the upper class are the ones who seek education and we are the ones who will maintain our integrity by not studying with them then the downfall of a community is inevitable.

This could also be devastating if the parents don’t understand themselves at deeper levels in terms of their relationship with one another, their careers, their own respective families, and their values. This could also be the case with violence, emotions, and manhood. We witness people expressing their anger and frustration on the streets over petty things on the streets and in the workplace. Earlier, we had situations regarding ragging in colleges where students felt they had a sense of superiority over their peers because of their upbringing or college, and the national policy regarding ragging and its consequences. When children aren’t taught basic conflict resolution over petty issues then it can lead to a dangerous cocktail of traits such as arrogance, controlling and aggression within an individual and when a person grows up with these traits irrespective of the gender without learning to control them then in a position of power then can fully explode and abuse anyone. Power is gender neutral. This can also be centered around the growth of boys and their perception of masculinity as they grow up. If growing up, they had a sister, and they weren’t permitted to pick her because they were boys, then why wouldn’t they do the same thing with their kids? If they were taught to use their fists and kicks to solve every problem while growing up, then why would they negotiate or talk? There is nature, and then there is outlook. In nature, everyone is equal, but outlook creates inequality and inequity. Power, irrespective of gender, can be cruel. Power could benefit, but only at the cost of humanity. If a mother abuses her children, something must have died within her. If a man kills another innocent man, it shows that something must have been destroyed within him. If a person has been taught not to cry or understand his or her emotions, then they will be angry at all times. If a person abuses, he or she has no emotions left. They don’t love themselves, they don’t care about their future, and the upcoming future generations.

Similarly, if the single motherhood rate in a community is immensely high, and the government comes up with a policy that they will provide welfare to single mothers but there’s a caveat, that they can’t have a man in the house either in the form of a father, brother or grandparent, then not only are you creating dependency on the government to fund your family but you’re also devastating your kids and eradicating the family system by letting them run amok and not having a father figure to teach, control and guide them and it can happen in any society irrespective of income, economy or the government when kids won’t respect any authority figure and later on everyone will witness fights breakout in every street, school and colony. When a child rests in your arms after crying, it does so because it feels warmth, protected, and an emotional bond with you.

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