Being alone and feeling lonely are two different situations, in other words, we can say that feeling lonely is more dangerous, heart-wrenching and health deteriorating as compared to being alone. Sitting alone in your own company, or silently praying to God or meditating and introspecting yourself is something which is absolutely normal and there's nothing to worry about that person because he's happy being with his own self. He doesn't need any other person's company as he himself and his Almighty are more than enough for him to sustain in this social world. However, if you see a person sitting quietly in a crowd of many people where he's feeling left out or isn't able to resonate well with what other people's opinions are, then he's feeling lonely and it is not an exaggeration to say, that he's fighting an inner battle with himself, where he's wanting to cry out loud, but can't! Where he wants to scream at those around him, but can't! Where he wants to engage himself with all those people and tries to interact with them badly, but unfortunately can't! He just can't open up to them and its quite a general assumption in today's world that no one worries about you more than you worry about yourself! So if you're quiet or you're feeling low, it's your duty to cheer yourself up because no one else is going to do that for you.

Loneliness can be fatal for your heart and soul, it has the power to break your heart millions of times, and it can stab you so many times that it makes it very difficult to feel happy and joyful again. Loneliness or a continued state of being alone can cause long-term discomfort and uneasiness. Every time you come across similar situations of feeling lonely, you'll feel your heart racing, you will start sweating and your heart will make you feel like you're hurting it badly forcing your eyes to get teary, but you'll not be able to cry properly, you'll lose the ability to scream, or even utter a single word in that situation.

Loneliness generally occurs when the people's expectations about a certain relationship, companionship or intimacy don't meet the actual reality. Loneliness is painful, however, it can be seen as a period of regained self-confidence, increased love for one's own self, and a deeper connection with those who actually value you, your presence, your opinions and your love. It brings you closer to the Almighty. But all of this is only possible if you make yourself strong and firm enough to face that situation with confidence and cross all hurdles involved in that state with utmost dedication. Only you can break this vicious circle of Loneliness and come out of it with a renewed love for yourself and a reduced dependence on others.

Loneliness can be of several types: Emotional Loneliness (a lack of meaningful relationships), Social Loneliness (a perceived lack in quality of social connections), Existential Loneliness (a feeling of deep separation from others and the world), Transient Loneliness (Loneliness that comes and goes), Situational Loneliness (Loneliness that occurs only at certain times, such as on holidays) and Chronic Loneliness (Loneliness that a person feels most or all of the time), etc.

Loneliness can be identified through some vital signs, like a person who keeps himself detached from other people, looks sad, feels isolated even in a crowd, who feels no one loves him, understands him, cares for him, thinks of him or wants to talk to him, or if he lacks enough sleep, appetite, energy levels, interest in several things, willingness to interact with others, focus etc, then it becomes quite clear that he may be going through a tough time facing loneliness.

Every situation that occurs in a person's life has some root cause or the other. Similarly, loneliness isn't something that happens all of a sudden, rather it also originates from some root cause that self-explains the state of being continuously alone. It can be moving or migrating to a different place, living alone, leaving your family or loved ones behind, loss of family or friends, long chronic health issues, end of a valuable relationship, job loss or bereavement, transition in social roles, no social connections, introverted-ness, etc.

According to a 2021 multi-country study, the prevalence of severe loneliness was just 6% before the COVID-19 Pandemic, which rose to around 21% during the pandemic and more after that. The consequences and aftereffects of the Pandemic years left people with mixed emotions, and it also increased the incidences of mental health-related illnesses and also pulled more people into the caves of loneliness. Since then, many people have struggled or are still struggling to come out of that cave, and it takes the focus of a falcon, the dedication of a tigress and the wit of a fox to cope with the state of loneliness. According to a study by Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), continual loneliness may lead to higher rates of anxiety, depression, mental breakdowns and suicidal thoughts.

According to the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine, social isolation and loneliness can cause a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke, an increased risk of premature death from various causes, a 50% increased risk of dementia, a 68% increased risk of hospitalisation, a 57% increased risk of visits to emergency wards, an increased risk of death by about four times, and other such life-threatening consequences.

Hence, after deeply studying and analysing the harmful threats and aftereffects of loneliness, it becomes necessary to come out of the state of continued loneliness at the earliest. For that, one needs to be cautious, have high willpower, and possess self-love, self-confidence, and self-determination, with the least outside dependence for being happy. Happiness and satisfaction can be searched from within, rather than finding it everywhere in the outside world. See the creations of God, witness their beauty, develop love and attraction towards them and consider yourselves to be the luckiest that you have the same divine creator, and the same Almighty has blessed you with a beautiful soul. So develop a habit to love yourself rather than expecting to get loved by someone else.

As a means to cope up with loneliness, one can follow the following ways:

1. Try to reach out to friends, family members, or colleague whom they think will value their opinion.
2. Connect with as many like-minded people on social media as possible.
3. Do self-care and practice self-love.
4. Try to talk to yourself and motivate yourself once in a while.
5. Try to focus on activities that you enjoy.
6. Acknowledge your good deeds, good qualities and personal successes more than you highlight your weaknesses or past failures.
7. Volunteer in NGOs and other interactive organisations.
8. Consider getting a pet to avoid being lonely.
9. Practise regular exercises and try to wake up early and witness the rising sun daily for positivity.
10. Follow your hobbies.
11. Maintain a personal diary to bring out the hidden thoughts on a piece of paper.
12. If still loneliness persists, consult a healthcare professional and psychologist.

A poem, composed by me while I was sitting with my group of friends in college, yet felt lonely throughout, explains very well how a person, like me, feels or what he thinks when he gets lonely. It goes like this:

Once while travelling alone,
Nothing inferior I could ever feel
Except for feeling a bit bored,
There's nothing regretful that I could even feel!
But no one knows better than me
The Art of Feeling Lonely amongst a Crowd of 10,
That loneliness used to eat me up from within
When I found myself with those so-called friends,
For whom I had a blanket that could turn me invisible!
Being alone is what I'm expert at,
But I still can't control my heart from sobbing silently,
When I find myself surrounded by those,
Who never did and not even now value my existence!
But now I'm trying to master the art of coping this fear,
Of not being heard or valued and not given any attention to
Coz for me, I'm the loveliest person out there,
Who deserves all the happiness of this world.
And those who unsee me
Are missing out on something most precious,
That they will regret for sure!
For those who love me, feel my absence, and care secretly for me,
I'm the one whom they crave for
And cry silently whenever I feel the pain.
God is so loving, that he sends secret admirers for each one of us
And attaches invisible strings of attachment with someone out there.
But all is about patience and divine timings
That you'll surely find them, who are made for you !
So let go of those haters who make you feel low and worried.
Just wait and hope
Till you master this art
And find 'the one' made for you in heaven!!

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” - Jodi Picoult.

“ When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be I a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone.” - Fiona Apple.

“A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke.” - Vincent Van Gogh.

There are many such personalities who have put forward their thoughts relating to loneliness. The words that they have used to express this painful feeling might differ, but they all carry the same meaning, the same sorrow, and the same pain. So the choice is ours and the process is just in front of us to initiate. Gather courage and move a step ahead towards developing self-love and eradicating outside dependence. Life will become much prettier, and the way you will perceive your life then onwards will be much brighter.

“Be the love you never received!”

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