Everyone can relate to the feeling of anger, be it as simple as angry rage. Everyone loses their temper; It is common and can sometimes be useful to some extent. But when it reaches this level, it has negative effects on an individual’s life satisfaction, career development, workplace performance and interpersonal relationships. It seems to light you up with a bold and desirable passion, which in turn wins you over.

Anger: What?

A sign of anger Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, defines anger as “an emotional state varying in intensity from mild anger to intense anger and rage.” Like other emotions, anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. Anger raises your blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline. Both internal and external events can cause anger. Anger can stem from a variety of issues, such as anxiety or worry about personal matters, or it can be directed against a specific person or situation (such as a manager or co-worker) or an event (such as a traffic jam or cancellation). journey).

Getting Upset:

Violence is a natural and natural way of expressing anger. Anger is a healthy and transformative response to problems; It triggers intense, often violent emotions and reactions that allow us to resist and fight back when we are attacked. So, some anger is necessary for us to survive. On the other hand, rules, social conventions, and common sense restrict where our anger can take us. We cannot physically attack any person or thing that upsets or offends us. People process their anger in different ways, both consciously and unconsciously. The three main strategies are sedation, suppression, and exposure. The best way to communicate anger is aggressively rather than aggressively. To do this, you need to learn how to be clear about what you want and how to deal with it without hurting other people. It’s about seeking respect for yourself and others, not being pushy or demanding. Anger suppression is followed by change or alternative displacement. This is what happens when you suppress your anger, get it out of your mind, and shift your focus to something constructive. The idea is to control your anger, suppress it, and turn it into positive actions. Unexpressed anger can lead to additional challenges. It can lead to pathological anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (returning to others indirectly, without explaining why, rather than addressing them directly), or a cynical personality they seemed to be always angry always destroying people, criticizing everything, and letting rude things happen, they have not learned to channel their anger in a constructive way. Not surprisingly, many of them are unlikely to have effective relationships. You can finally relax within. This includes not only monitoring your external behavior, but also controlling your inner behavior, such as slowing your heart rate, calming yourself and reducing your emotions

Controlling your anger

Anger management aims to reduce your emotional response to anger as well as the physical stimuli it causes. Things or people that irritate you are inevitable and irreversible, but you can learn to manage your reactions. Control your anger management aims to reduce your emotional response to anger as well as the physical stimuli it causes. Things or people that upset you are inevitable and irreversible, but you can learn to manage your reactions.

Do you feel too enraged?

There are psychological tests that measure how strongly you feel anger, how easily you get angry, and how well you manage your anger. But if you have an issue with anger management, you probably already know that. If you find your behavior dangerous and out of control, you may need help to learn more effective ways to cope with this feeling. Is it a smart idea to "let it all sit there"? According to contemporary psychologists, this is a damaging myth. This philosophy gives some people the right to hurt other people. According to research, when you're angry, "letting it rip" only makes the problem worse and doesn't help you or the other person involved find a solution. Instead, it fuels your anger and hatred. The important thing is to identify what makes you angry and then develop plans to avoid being uncomfortable with those triggers.

Techniques for Controlling Your Rage

Unwinding

Simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and quiet visualization can help reduce feelings of anger. You can get relaxation tips from books and courses, and once you have the skills, you can apply them to any situation. If you are in a relationship where you have a partner with a warm temperament, it can be a good idea for both of you to become familiar with these techniques. There are a few simple things you can do:

• To relax, breathe deeply from your diaphragm rather than your chest. Imagine breathing from your "gut".
• Slowly repeat the calming words or phrases, such as "relax", "take it easy" and other deep breaths as you repeat them to yourself.
• Use images to reflect on a quiet moment from your past or your mind. By doing gentle and simple yoga exercises, you can feel sufficiently relaxed, and your muscles can also relax.

These methods should be used daily. Get in the habit of using automation when things get tough.

Restructuring Cognition

Simply put, it changes your mind. Angry people often use profanity, swear words, or very colorful language to express their innermost feelings. Anger can make you think creatively and extravagantly. Try replacing these with more reasonable ideas. For example, say, "This is frustrating, and I'm understandably upset about it, but it's not the end of the world, and anger won't fix it somehow," not "Oh, see, see". , it's all gone." Reason triumphs over anger because even where it is justified, anger can quickly become unreasonable. So, use common sense with yourself. You're just going through some tough times in your life and remember that the world isn't "out to get you." Try this whenever you feel your temper attacking you; That will give you a more unbiased view. Angry people often look for things like fairness, acceptance, agreement, and the ability to get their way. Everyone wants these things, and when we don’t get them, we all get hurt and disappointed. However, angry individuals seek these outcomes, and when their expectations are not met, their frustration turns into anger.

Resolving Issues

Sometimes our anger and frustration stem from very real and unavoidable obstacles in our lives. Anger is generally a normal and positive response to these setbacks, so it is not always inappropriate. The new cultural belief that there is always a solution makes us even angrier when we realize that is not always the case. As a result, instead of focusing on finding a solution, facing the problem head on is the best idea in this type of situation. Plan and track your progress along the way. Decide to give it your all, but be nice to yourself if you don’t feel it right away.

Improved Conversation

“Silly laughter" has many uses in calming feelings of anger. Among other things, it can help you develop a more unbiased perspective. Before you angrily call someone’s, name or use another creative word, think about what the sound will be like. For example, if you consider a co-worker a "single-celled life" or a "bag of dirt," sit at your co-worker's desk, not on the phone, and discover a large bag of dirt in full (or amoeba) and attend meetings. Whenever someone else's name comes to mind, act. If you can, draw a sketch of what the object will look like. Dr. A.S. According to Deffenbacher, the message in angry people is "things have to go my way!" Angry people often think that their conduct is right, that their plans have been suppressed or changed, that this is an unbearable insult, that they shouldn’t have to suffer like this and that others sometimes do, but they don’t! If you feel that emotion, he recommends imagining yourself as a god or goddess, if you are outside, in the store, in the office, step alone and hold your course in all situations, others bend over you Dozens you can add detail to your fantasy scenes You may find yourself being unreasonable; You will also see how insignificant your concerns are. There are two caveats to the use of humor. First, don't try to "laugh off" your issues; Instead, use humor to deal with them in a constructive way. Second, resist the temptation to use strong, sarcastic humor; It is just another unhealthy expression of anger. All of these things have one thing in common: refusing to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it’s often accompanied by thoughts that can make you laugh as you analyze it.

Other tips for relaxing yourself

Time: If you and your partner don't fight at night when discussing important topics—perhaps because you're tired, distracted, or just out of habit—try changing the times you say important things so that these conversations don’t escalate into conflict. Avoid: If your child’s messy room makes you angry every time you walk in, close the door. Don’t force yourself to look at what annoys you. Avoid the suggestion, "Well, let my child clean the room so I don't get mad!" That is not the purpose. Stay calm and quiet. Look for alternatives: If your regular traffic is making you angry and frustrated, set yourself a task: find or build a busy or more scenic alternative picture. Alternatively, consider using the bus or train.

How about assertiveness training?

Of course, angry people are less likely to be aggressive (rather than aggressive), but most books and seminars on assertiveness are devoted to those who don't feel That angry enough. These people are more passive and agreeable than the average person; They often let others go everywhere. Most angry individuals do not. However, these books can provide some valuable strategies for dealing with stressful situations. Remember, you can’t get rid of anger, and it would be a bad idea to try. No matter how hard you try, you will still be angry, and some of that anger will be justified. Life will be full of dissatisfaction, sadness, loss and unpredictable reactions from others. You can’t change that; However, you can change your reaction to such issues. By controlling your anger behaviors, you can prevent yourself from suffering more in the long run.

Myths and facts about anger

MYTH - I don’t have to “hold” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let go.

FACT - While it is true that suppressing anger and ignoring it is not good, venting is not. Anger isn’t something you have to “give” greedily to avoid an explosion. In fact, arguments and anger fuel the fire and fuel your anger problem.

MYTH - Anger, violence, and threats help me gain respect and get what I want.

FACT - Bullying others does not give them respect. People may fear you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle conflicting ideas. Others will be more willing to listen to you and meet your needs if you treat others with respect.

MYTH - I can’t help myself. Anger is not something you can control.

FACT - You can’t always control how you express your anger. And you can talk about your feelings without verbal or physical abuse. Even if someone pushes your button, you always have a choice in how you respond.

If you need an anger management course, check it out!

If, despite using these previous anger management strategies, your anger remains out of control, or if you get in trouble with the law or hurt others, you may need professional help which can be a therapy or anger management class. Group, individual, or online therapy can be a great way to explore why you are angry and identify your triggers. Therapy can also provide a safe space to express anger and practice new skills.

Anger management classes allow you to meet others who face similar struggles and learn tips and tricks for dealing with your own anger. Research suggests that anger management strategies can be beneficial for reducing anger and improving problem-solving and communication skills. Anger management classes are led by an expert or a counsellor, which means you will learn how anger works and ways to deal with the emotion in general. In these courses, you may be expected to use a workbook so that you can apply the lessons to your own situation. Some courses offer a certificate of completion, which may be necessary if your participation in the course was court-ordered.

Group meetings are usually led by one person who can guide participants through educational materials and group discussions. The class focuses on topics such as identifying motivation and analyzing common collision mechanisms. Because you’re in a group, the content feels generic, and you won’t have the same privacy as you would in an in-person meeting. However, you can connect with others who are also dealing with anger issues, learn about their experiences, and perhaps discover coping strategies that have worked for them. Individual therapy sessions can supplement or replace group anger management classes. These sessions allow you to connect one-on-one with a counsellor or therapist so you can benefit from personalized advice and information. For example, a counsellor may suggest cognitive behavioral therapies that may help you in a particular situation. Then, you can both try to play exercises so you can practice those techniques.

You can look for anger management courses in person or online. Some people find interviews personal or intimate. Online forums may be more appropriate if you don’t have the time to attend or have trouble finding local options. If you want to make a big change, you can look for personalized, online anger management courses. However, these participatory learning programs lack personalized feedback from mentors or peers.

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