I grew up in a very nice environment. In my early years, I used to think that the world was also the same as my home. Like if I am a good kid, my mom treats me well. Simply, if I am a good person, the world will treat me nicely. But as I grew up a little bit, I realized that's not how all things work. Maybe destiny, god, karma, or nature—whatever you call it—they are fair. But people, society... nah, they do not operate by these rules.

There was a working guy in my hostel during my high school years. As long as I can remember, he was maybe a security guard or something. He heard me once when I was talking to a kid, saying, "Hey kiddo, you're a good boy, someday you'll find a girl like Cinderella." I was just playing with that kid, but that hostel guy noticed that. And after some time, he reached me and told me, "Hey bro, probably you do not know me, but I want to say one thing to you." I was like, "Go ahead, I'm listening."

He said, "What you were talking to that kid by saying you're a good boy, all that was pure bullshit." I said, "What do you mean?" I was 15 back then, and he was twice my age. He told me something that hit me like a train because I was just a playful 15-year-old. He replied, "I'm 31 years old. I've never done anything harmful to anybody. In my whole life, I was helpful to others. I was always and still a good person. But in my whole life, even though I tried so hard, I did not find a single person who cared about me or loved me. People always took me for granted or never wanted me in the first place. I've never had friends or a girlfriend. So kiddo, mind my words: being good doesn't make you be loved." And that guy literally left me speechless. But when I grew up, I realized that he wasn't totally lying.

I do not know who is reading this, and I do not know who needs to hear this. but

You do not have to take it personally if it's not related.

If nobody is there for you, nobody cares about you, the possible reason is you're unlucky or let's say that god has some other plans for you. Yup, there is nothing wrong with you, you are great. Maybe your future has some big surprises for you. Who knows? Some people have bad days or some people have bad months or even a year. Maybe you're one of them. That's why you're alone with yourself.

Nobody can know you better but only you. You know yourself enough; you just have to stop pretending or lying to yourself. What are you? A person which I just described above: "a great person with bad luck" or you're just unlovable? I am not saying anything; you know yourself.

You think that you are lonely, plus you think that you are a good person who always helps others. But here is the simple twist: You want people to love you, but do you love you? Do you really like you? This simple question simply solves most of the mystery.

Imagine your name is Jack, and you wake up in the morning. You open your eyes and see yourself and acknowledge that you're Jake. At that very point, do you think that, "Wow, I am Jake, and I'm so excited to live life by being Jake, one more day to live as Jake"? Is this your expression, or do you think this way: "Oh, look at me, I'm Jake, one more day to survive as Jake"?

It's your long life. And now, still if you can't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Others who are actually other and have no connection with you, it's not their job to love you. If they don't like you or don't love you, how are you supposed to ask them for love? If you're in the situation where you kinda hate yourself, then how is someone who is other or a stranger going to love you? It's simple logic.

What is perfection in a relationship? Compatibility between two people. So, if you're a nerd, some nerd will probably love you. And everything will be boring. Normally, even you don't like the thing that isn't better than you. Then how can you expect from the people who are liked who are a lot better than you? It's rare and mostly impossible.

And do not try to justify yourself by saying that "I'm Mister Nobody, with no specialty, I'm boring, still there is a person in my life who loves me so much." Do not lie to yourself. You know the fact that a nerd can love another nerd. If you're okay with that, then it's cool. Keep going that way. Do you want to stay a nerd or wanna be better?

Someday you'll realize that some people love you but don't like you, like parents or siblings. They take care of you; they actually love you. You're their blood. But they do not actually like you. They only treat you nicely because you're their son or something. And it's justifiable. You know what? You are "you." You cannot leave yourself. Otherwise, you do not stay with someone you do not like or love. And God gives you a chance to restart your life or lets you choose another life. You'll definitely choose another life or restart. So if you are at that point where you also do not want to be with you or love you, how others are going to love you?

And do not try to say "I'm not the best version of myself, but I'm lucky to have a person who loves me for who I am." Yes, bro, you are lucky. It's good to have someone who cares about you. We are happy for you. And to be honest , it's rare. And believe me, it's so rare. And if you have that, you're lucky. But most of us can't have that. So we cannot just stay the same as right now by saying that, "I'm not gonna change myself, I want someone who loves me for who I am." That's not how it works.

You know what? Finding a relationship is not that hard. You can find a relationship. But finding a high standard, amazing, platonic friendship or relationship is so hard. It's like... nowadays, most of us have a car or bike. Owning a vehicle is not that hard. The same, finding a relationship is like having a vehicle, it's easy. But people have vehicles, but what kind of vehicle? Some have second-hand, third-hand cars. Some have cheap cars that they do not like, so they just have to be with that car. Some have high maintenance cars. The same, most people have a relationship, but some have seconded-hand partners or somebody has a very hard-to-maintain partner, and some have a partner that they do not like, but they do have to be with that, like a cheap car. And nowadays, we can rent a car or maybe it's quite possible to rent a person. If you know, you know. Everybody has a dream car, a supercar, but they can't have that and say "it's okay, I have a car." And very few people have their dream car, a red Ferrari or something. The same, most people have relationships, but only a few have their dream relationship. And here we are talking about finding and being able to build that dream relationship. So do not say that "I'm a jerk person, but still there is someone who loves me." You still do not have your dream car. And by chance, you have your dream car or dream relationship without doing work or being a great person, your relationship has an expiration date. You cannot afford your dream car or dream relationship if you can't maintain it.

If you're a hopeless romantic, you can think this way: “I know that one day I'll find my soulmate. And that day, I want her to feel proud. So I do not know when I will find that person, but I want to be the best version of myself for her or for him.”

Your partner does not only need love from you; they'll need comfort from you. So you have to be able to give it to them. Otherwise, this will happen: "Yes, I love you, but I can't support your career because I'm broke." If you can't support a partner or friend, what's the point of the relationship?

Sometimes when the person you like doesn't like you back, you just believe that you're not good enough, or you start to see yourself as a loser. But that's not true at all. Sometimes when you're crushing hard on someone, it's really hard to convince them to like you back. Again, it's hard to make them like you, but it's easy to just be with them. And somehow if they reject you or do not like you back, you just lose all of your self-esteem and confidence. But you have to believe that that one person does not decide worth. So it's fine.

There was a movie I watched once, and though the title escapes me, its message resonated deeply. It centered around a young man who discovered he had the extraordinary ability to travel back in time. His life took an unexpected turn when he met a girl who captured his heart. She was a vibrant spirit, but her feelings towards him were uncertain. Despite their connection, she gave off mixed signals, leaving him in a state of confusion.

Their relationship reached a pivotal moment during a vacation together. On the last day of their trip, he took a leap of faith and asked her out. However, his hopes were dashed when she politely declined. Disheartened, he turned to his time-traveling power, hoping to alter the course of events and win her affection.

He embarked on a series of attempts to change their interactions, each time hoping for a different outcome. Yet, no matter how many times he tried, her feelings remained unchanged. It was a sobering realization for him: love couldn't be manipulated or forced, no matter how much he altered his actions or personality.

This experience teaches him an important lesson about love and relationships. He learns that he cannot use time travel to manipulate people or change their feelings. Instead, he decides to focus on being himself and living his life to the fullest.

Whenever I say be a great person, I don't mean that... Be a cool, stubborn person full of unnecessary attitude. Even though society is messed up, still, the majority of people are attracted to inside things also. Things like kindness are also one of the best things a person can achieve. Don't ever be that guy who belonged to the loser community once and then somehow overcame that loser mindset and became great. And now you find people who are interested in you. And now you're a red flag who just uses them. So don't forget that you were once nothing. Do not change your good things after you become successful, especially then. If you're a fan of Marvel Studios, you better know that Captain America was the only human who was worthy of Mjolnir. Because when he was skinny as hell, he was a good person. And even though he became the greatest soldier of the USA, he was still a good person.

Here the main point is "You should be lovable and a great person to be loved." So we are talking about "how to be a great person." Because you can find articles on self-improvement and personality development, just go through the internet properly. Just start to believe before you finish this chapter. "It's hard to find love if you're not lovable."

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