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Humanity is known for its kindness, it is known for the joy it endows, for the bliss it enclasps in its moments of adoration, care and togetherness as a family and as a community. We are known to live and thrive in a socially garnered civilisation that celebrates each other’s success and belies in growing together into a more progressive society. As we evolve into a more informed and connected world, the bitter truth lies that many of us live or have survived in an environment that was detrimental to our sense of perception, our holistic mind well-being and how we develop our confidence in ourselves.

The ones who grew up with years of trauma, abuse and neglect were vehemently denied the organic space for their brain to develop and mature into an adult like the other ones who grew up in healthy and supportive environments because their entire energy was devoted to surviving the chaos and catastrophe that surrounded them. While others were thriving, their entire breaths were reckoned to the instinct of survival. In this article, we talk about what childhood trauma is, how to recognise it and how you can heal from it as you grow up.

The Perils of Childhood Trauma

We frequently overlook the significance of our childhood experiences and their impact on us as adults. Our early years form the foundation of our personality, shaping how we perceive the world, interact with others, and process our emotions and thoughts. A study by the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) reveals that about 55% of children in India have faced some form of abuse. This alarming statistic highlights a critical problem that requires urgent attention. As young children, we often lack a clear comprehension of our experiences and how they might impact us traumatically as we grow older. In truth, we are continuously at risk of experiencing a traumatic event. As adults, we can comprehend the potential impact it may have on us and evaluate how a therapist can assist us in processing it.

The roots of childhood trauma stem from a child being exposed to a painful or emotionally distressing experience. This can encompass events ranging from death-threatening remarks to serious injury, abuse or sexual violence. Childhood trauma not only names itself when a child personally experiences it but also is indirectly involved in a traumatic childhood, that involves witnessing the trauma or being surfaced with devastating details that happened in the past. Traumas can lead to emotional distress and may give rise to mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS). When we experience trauma, it generates strong emotions, and if we do not address these feelings at the moment, they can become trapped in our minds and bodies.

Instead of recovering from the traumatic event, the unresolved trauma remains within us as energy in our unconscious, influencing our lives until we acknowledge and process it. Effectively managing and expressing difficult emotions like anger, sadness, shame, and fear is crucial for adults healing from childhood trauma. The most effective way to cope with childhood emotional trauma, though it is uncommon, involves acknowledging the harm done to our self-image when the trauma happens, allowing ourselves to experience the associated feelings, and understanding that this violation does not define us. As a result, we can release any negative interpretations and move on.

Feelings of anger and sadness can be painful, and since expressing these emotions is deemed unacceptable socially through crying or confrontation, we often tend to suppress them instead of fully expressing them and processing them. This mechanism of coping through our difficult times can be challenging and detrimental for children. What may look like a minor mockery or comment to an adult can deeply impact the psyche of a child, leading to potential issues like depression, anxiety and body image issues.

Why Do We Run Away From Accepting Our Darkness?

Many individuals find it difficult to fully engage with their emotions for various reasons. Societal expectations that discourage emotional expression, personal coping strategies developed in response to trauma or stress, and a need to keep emotions in check are significant factors. Furthermore, daily distractions and the fear of being vulnerable often result in emotional suppression instead of confrontation. Recognizing these patterns can assist individuals in connecting more deeply with their feelings and enhancing their emotional health.

Even the most loving parents can inadvertently affect our self-esteem. In their efforts to shield us from discomfort, they may rush to intervene when we are upset. Statements such as "Don't feel bad — it's okay" can minimize our feelings. However, going through negative emotions is crucial for our emotional development, as it helps us understand the underlying causes of those feelings.

Our upbringing may have lacked nurturing, leading us to hide our tears during difficult times. Consequently, we missed out on learning how to handle our emotions constructively. We were not educated on the idea that emotions are temporary and follow a specific course and that we can withstand them. Without this knowledge, we might see all emotions as intimidating. As children, we tend to mix up our emotions with who we are, thinking that our feelings define our identity. When those emotions are viewed as inappropriate in a certain situation, we might come to believe that we, too, are unacceptable. If you have faced childhood trauma, it is more likely for you to suppress your emotions and have unreasonable spurs of anger, sadness and unawareness of how to deal with unresolved pains.

Here Are Some Ways In Which Childhood Trauma Might Resurface in Your Life as an Adult

The specific symptoms or health issues that arise can vary based on the type of early childhood trauma experienced. Nevertheless, several common effects of trauma may manifest.

  1. Not able to maintain healthy relationships: Struggling to form healthy relationships is common among adults recovering from childhood trauma. Often, they develop unhealthy ways of engaging with others, influenced by their traumatic experiences and the lessons they've internalized about relationships during their early years. For instance, an individual who experienced neglect during childhood may grow up feeling unworthy of love and affection from others. This belief often stems from messages received in their formative years, typically from family or close relationships. Consequently, this individual might remain in unhealthy relationships where they are poorly treated and ignored by their partner. They may avoid seeking a new relationship because they believe they are unworthy of better treatment.
  2. Hyper Vigilance: Hyper-vigilance is a response often seen in individuals who have undergone trauma, characterized by a persistent sense of being threatened. This may manifest as an intense fear of potential attacks or feeling cornered at any moment. Adults may become particularly alert to their surroundings, especially in unfamiliar situations, such as when meeting new people or being in new environments. This heightened awareness is generally a consequence of experiencing trauma in childhood.
  3. Depression and anxiety can arise from childhood trauma, in addition to other mental health risk factors. These disorders often occur together, leading individuals to feel hopeless and isolated. If you're facing challenges with depression or anxiety, seeking assistance from a mental health professional is recommended.
  4. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that arises after a person experiences a traumatic event. Classified as an anxiety disorder by the DSM, PTSD is characterized by symptoms such as flashbacks of the traumatic experience and intense distress triggered by reminders of the event, leading individuals to take drastic measures to avoid these triggers. Additional symptoms include mood changes, nightmares, and panic attacks.

If you relate to this, here are some ways that can help you heal.

Although the effects of childhood trauma may seem overwhelming, healing and the development of coping strategies can be achieved through effective approaches. An adult must recognize their particular childhood experience as a traumatic event.

  1. Reflect on the core of your traumatic experiences:This first step requires them to comprehend the impact of that trauma on their life and to accept their feelings about it. By doing this, they can discover meaning in their current struggles and gain a clearer understanding of their challenges.
  2. Being kind to yourself: Adults who endured traumatic childhoods frequently deal with self-criticism and guilt. They might find themselves questioning their actions, pondering why they respond in particular manners, or thinking they should have approached situations differently. These thoughts can lead to feelings of despair and frustration. The key lesson is to take a moment to acknowledge that you are not at fault for your past experiences. Childhood trauma can have enduring effects, and you are putting in significant effort to heal. Just as with any injury, it's important to give yourself the necessary time to recover. Practice patience and self-compassion, treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend to a dear friend.
  3. Reach out to your loved ones for emotional support and understanding. It's essential to feel heard, comprehended, and validated during these times.

Experiencing trauma in childhood can create a sense of loneliness and isolation, leading to the belief that no one can genuinely relate or empathize. However, this viewpoint is frequently inaccurate. By opening up to others, we can receive important support during challenging periods. It's important to acknowledge the benefits of seeking help from a mental health professional who specializes in trauma. An experienced psychologist or therapist can assist in the healing process, improve relationships, identify harmful behaviors and coping mechanisms, and enhance overall mental health.

Conclusion

The process of healing emotional wounds can feel uncomfortable at first, but it will be a very rewarding journey. The energy that we pour into being consumed and devastated by our trauma will be released and make space for healing and feeling love for ourselves. In the end, we have to realize that what has happened was not our fault and cannot be changed, all we have in our hands is what we do with our time now so that we can step into a version of ourselves that loves every fiber of their being without guilt or shame.

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