I am chasing the crumpled sunsets, I am chasing the wind that bleeds and the wind that blows,

I am dancing in the trumpets of gallant victories and soaring through the rain and snow.

The journey is mine as I stride on this path that belies to be true,

Testimony to the pain that every ounce of my breath hid under its sinew

Comparison is the thief of joy, the one which takes away your smile and, most importantly, the gratitude you hold for your life. I, too, have been accustomed to this burglar, which broke into my psyche on a random Tuesday morning and had not been able to get it arrested for a long time. 

As the theft of my true happiness occurred, I was left with a void, one that no matter how hard I tried, did not leave my side. I was tired of scrolling to my very doom on Instagram and seeing other people go on with their lives when I felt like I was doing nothing. Like I was fixated on this immovable and insurmountable guilt and self-doubt, of not being enough. 

This was how I felt for a huge majority of last year. I had no idea what I was doing with my life as life went by, and I dreaded every ounce of my being. It was like living in the shadow of what my life could look like in comparison to how giganticly beautiful and mesmerising the lives of others looked in their entirety.

You might feel this is another rant post, where I crib about how bad my life is. But let me be honest, I was experiencing pain in its deepest brevity, one that left me numb and passive to the beauty around me. But no, this post is not about pain or how sad my life is. This is about how I found light, how even in the darkest moments, 

I had me, I had the belief in me that life would get better, that the ray of hope would shine. That the tables would turn, and oh boy, did they turn so magnificently. The prayers being answered are like the dawn embracing and adorning the horizon, slowly and surely at first and then like the enthralling rays of the sun, glaringly and boldly. 

 So when this year started, I had a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish, that I wanted to hone with pride and shout in the loudness of my authentic joy. As the year went by, I worked hard, following mostly a monotonous routine of work, study, play and rest. There were times when I felt directionless and where life felt like walking in the desolate sands of uncertainty.

Here were some of my goals that I was glaringly working towards

• Work with high-impact and high-end creative brands.
• Write pieces that I am extremely proud of and that inspire others.
• Be recognised for my work nationally and internationally.
• Be appreciated as a branding and marketing mentor and social media manager.
• Get into a renowned institution for my master's.
• Be consistent with my personal branding work.

Time passed, and I devoted myself to achieving these goals while managing fitness levels and keeping myself fit. But the truth of being a highly ambitious and driven young individual is something no one tells you; it costs you the normalcy of life and the social life your peers enjoy, and plonks you into loneliness that not many can embrace. 

I would be lying if this did not affect me; there were days when I felt stranded amidst my inner battles, and the inner chaos became so loud that the externality felt like silent whispers of nothingness. But even during my lowest moments, I had myself and a hope that life would turn out to be even better than I could ever envision.

Here is what followed...

1) I worked with one of the most popular feminist archives, and my works got published with them - you can read it here- https://www.shethepeople.tv/author/hridya-sharma

2)  Collaborated with them on exciting articles that I am extremely proud of.

3) Got appreciated as a social media manager and branding and marketing mentor.

4) Got appreciated nationally and internationally for my work.

5) And got into my favourite and a renowned university for my master's!!!

6) Also worked consistently on my brand ( Also me writing here regularly)!

There is beauty and reverence in knowing that life will pan out in your favour always. You just need to have faith and work hard, I promise everything will work out!!

To the ones who dare to dream without caring about their rocky start,

Keep going, the universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart!!

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