Gaslighting in the workplace is a serious problem that can adversely affect your reputation and career. According to a Twitter survey by MHR, approximately 58% of people have faced gaslighting at work. This behaviour involves a coworker or supervisor making you doubt your sanity, memory, or perceptions. Tactics may include denying past events, minimizing emotions, or twisting narratives to make you feel responsible for various issues.This article aims to help you identify gaslighting in your workplace and guides you on how to take back control of the situation.

What is gaslighting? How do you identify it?

To tackle gaslighting in the workplace, it's crucial to understand its definition. Gaslighting involves psychological manipulation that makes the victim doubt their perceptions and sanity. For instance, in a personal relationship, a husband might regularly ask for certain meals but act surprised when his partner prepares them, claiming he never made those requests. This pattern can make the partner feel disoriented and uncertain about their reality. In a work context, a manager might claim to have forgotten a report that was submitted just hours earlier.

This approach causes people to doubt their memories, allowing gaslighters to exploit insecurities to gain control. A manipulative supervisor might use understated tactics to undermine your successes at work, obscuring your true intentions. Gaslighting involves persistent doubt and self-questioning, becoming apparent when such incidents occur regularly rather than sporadically. Its insidious nature can lead you to question your grasp of reality, making it particularly harmful, as it encourages you to doubt the authenticity of your experiences.

What are some signs of gaslighting in a work environment?

1. Individuals who are gaslighted frequently have difficulty recognizing the manipulation, as it leads them to question their reality. One key indicator of psychological manipulation, especially gaslighting, is the constant doubt cast on your perceptions. According to a licensed psychologist, if you often feel confused and uncertain about your experiences after interacting with a colleague, it may indicate gaslighting. The person engaging in gaslighting typically holds you accountable for mistakes you are confident you did not commit, contributing to your self-doubt.
2. Many have noticed that new managers often feel threatened by high-performing team members. In these situations, the manager may try to undermine the employees by amplifying their errors and criticizing their work. This behaviour is a common gaslighting tactic, where the manager vehemently denies their earlier statements, leading the employee to doubt their memory and perception. Gaslighters may offer private praise while publicly disparaging the individual, or vice versa, creating confusion and causing the employee to question their grasp of reality through contradictory actions.
3. Being frequently left out of key meetings and decision-making discussions is a significant form of workplace harassment. The gaslighter may intentionally exclude you from these important events without a valid reason. If you inquire about your exclusion, they may dismiss your concerns, suggesting that you are overreacting or that your presence was unnecessary. Even when the topic is crucial to your job, they may downplay its importance. If you find yourself regularly excluded, it may be a sign that you are facing gaslighting.
4. Others Start Noticing How You Are Being Manipulated - This is an important point. When you have been manipulated for a long time, your coworkers will likely notice that you are being treated differently. You need to find a trusted coworker who will be honest with you about what they notice.
5. You might end up working on insignificant tasks that lack importance. Rather than engaging in meaningful projects, you could be stuck with "busy work" that occupies your time but doesn't lead to valuable results. This could be a strategy to weaken your role and limit your productivity, ultimately leaving you with little to show during performance evaluations due to the absence of significant work.
6. The gaslighter orchestrates situations that induce feelings of shame. For example, they may intentionally fail to inform you about a meeting, causing you to miss it, and then blame you for your absence. Regardless of your efforts, your work is consistently deemed inadequate. As previously noted, gaslighters will identify flaws that don’t exist and will remain unsatisfied or critical even of your best efforts.

If you believe your coworker is gaslighting you, here is how you can deal with this situation.

Seek support from trusted colleagues or friends outside of work. Sharing your experiences with others can provide you with perspective and validation, helping you to realize whether your feelings are justified or if you may be misinterpreting the situation. They can also offer advice or strategies on how to handle the coworker in question. Lastly, prioritize your mental health throughout this process. Engaging with a therapist or counsellor can be incredibly helpful in providing strategies to cope with the emotional fallout of gaslighting and in reinforcing your self-esteem. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult experience.

Firstly, it's crucial to document any incidents that you believe may be indicative of gaslighting. This could involve keeping a detailed record of conversations, interactions, and specific behaviours that raise red flags. By maintaining a log, you create a tangible account that can help you identify patterns over time and serve as evidence if you need to escalate the issue later. If the gaslighting persists despite your efforts to resolve it, it may be necessary to involve a supervisor or human resources. Present your documented evidence and express your concerns clearly and professionally. Organizations typically have policies in place to address workplace harassment and can guide how to proceed.

Is gaslighting classified as workplace harassment? When gaslighting is directed towards an individual’s protected characteristics, such as race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, it becomes crucial to file a harassment complaint. This is because workplace discrimination is a serious issue that affects many individuals.

While gaslighting itself may not be explicitly defined in harassment policies, both state and federal laws protect hostile work environments that are connected to various protected characteristics. Your organization needs to maintain a clear and accessible internal policy that details the steps individuals can take to report harassment complaints. If you believe that you are experiencing sexual harassment or discrimination based on your race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or any other protected category, it is advisable to review your company's policies and reach out to the human resources department for assistance.

By following these steps, you can take proactive measures to confront and address gaslighting in the workplace, ultimately fostering a healthier and more supportive work environment. Fortunately, there are a plethora of resources at your disposal aimed at helping individuals navigate the complexities of gaslighting. These resources can range from mobile applications designed to provide immediate coping strategies to online support communities where you can connect with others who have faced similar challenges. 

Additionally, personal coaches specializing in emotional resilience and recovery can offer tailored guidance and strategies to help you rebuild your confidence and restore your self-esteem. Utilizing these tools not only aids in healing but also equips you with the necessary skills to recognize and address toxic dynamics in the future. In this way, the journey toward healing can transform into a powerful opportunity for personal growth and empowerment.

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