Nothing compares to the sense of complete helplessness and despair that follows significant failures and mistakes in life. It feels like your heart is being pierced by a dagger. Usually, the mistake hits us so hard that it takes months or even years to get over it. I've been in that position a few times, and each time I made a huge mistake, I questioned how I could forgive myself. Some of these were serious errors and setbacks; they all destroyed me. There were times when I thought I lacked the strength to continue. Not on an emotional level. Not in a spiritual sense. Not in the mind. And certainly not in a physical sense.

Do you want to know a secret? Errors are acceptable. Failure is acceptable. Being human is acceptable. Errors are inevitable in life. Anxiety becomes debilitating when we do something wrong and agonize over it for hours. Since I've worked so hard my whole life for perfection, even the idea of making a mistake was completely paralyzing.

 It's easier to be critical of ourselves when we're not kind to ourselves. I'd get so bogged down in self-loathing when I didn't love myself that I could hardly even look at myself in the mirror because I wasn't getting what I was trying to achieve. I was a child that I could hardly be soothed if I hadn't performed well on an examination and had only been given a grade less than an A. But once I saw what self-compassion is, I could finally tease out my mistakes and flaws and become slightly less of a critic.

As long as you are spending the time, energy, and effort necessary to correct them. Somehow, I managed to forgive myself. Having gathered the broken pieces, I went on. It wasn't easy. Honestly, it was maybe one of the toughest things I have ever had to do. And every time, I made a self-promise that it would never occur again. Those were gloomy times. Furthermore, I didn't believe I could forgive myself for my errors. However, things improved and changed over time. It took time for it to happen. There was undoubtedly a procedure. Looking back on those errors now, there was also a great deal of introspection involved.

Here are a few reminders that help me deal with failures and be kinder to myself...

1) Refrain from focusing on the error.

Although we all make mistakes, it can occasionally be difficult to remember them while we're experiencing them. Because of the potential pain and expense, we make every effort to avoid them. We risk losing our families, relationships, careers, and reputations, among other things. Reminiscing about your error will only make you feel hopeless and depressed, which will hinder your progress. Allow yourself the opportunity to forget about it. Read something engaging, watch a motivational film, listen to uplifting music, watch your favourite film, and take lots of deep breaths.

2) Being perfect is a myth

If you're like me, you discipline yourself for thoughtless mistakes. Even though I used to hate disappointing others and wish to strive for perfection, I am guilty of making mistakes. You think through everything over again in your mind and try to spot where you went wrong. In the end, you have to bear the repercussions of your actions. The key to a happier life is understanding that errors are permissible. While everyone wishes to be perfect in life, it is impossible. We keep trying, but we never succeed. That's acceptable. Making mistakes enables us to develop personally. It is acceptable as long as you are making your best effort.

3) You are humane and your mistakes or failures don't define you

We weren't made to be flawless. Your entire life is not determined by one mistake. Your college career is not over if you fail a test because you forgot to study for it. Making mistakes only helps you grow and learn. One of the greatest things you can do is to bounce back from a mistake.. Life is full of mistakes. Breathe deeply and get past your error. Don't allow your setbacks to bring you down. You are not the world's worst person because of it. It just makes you human to have failed, lost and then learned your lesson.

4) What is your top priority right now, and why?

 Sorting out your values is necessary. Make use of the hurt caused by past errors to help you decide what matters most to you now and in the future. We frequently live in a reactive state and don't truly evaluate the things that are most important to us. We must therefore write down our values to consciously organize them. They must be listed in order of significance, along with a justification for that order. We can then use those values as a guide to prioritize our time, efforts, and activities as we proceed with life, love, and our objectives.

By concentrating on what matters, a value-driven life can aid in evaluating the right course of action. We can make our lives better and go forward with sincere intentions of developing, contributing, and making the world a better place. Although it may seem like the end of the world, making a mistake is not. It means you need to start over and fix it. The best course of action after making a mistake is to attempt to correct it.

5) Maintain a gratitude diary and commit to living a different way this time.

Since I've worked so hard my whole life for perfection, even the idea of making a mistake was completely paralyzing. It's easier to be critical of ourselves when we're not kind to ourselves. I'd get so bogged down in self-loathing when I didn't love myself that I could hardly even look at myself in the mirror because I wasn't getting what I was trying to achieve. So I would remind myself from time to time about all the wonderful things I am grateful for. Whatever it is - your family, your house, your health, or your food - focus on the things for which you are most grateful. It is incredibly difficult to feel grateful for something and at the same time feel angry or self-critical.

Conclusion

It's time for us to stop expecting ourselves to get it right the first time. It's alright to make errors and not always get it right the first time. We have to be okay to not be okay. Once we've tried it for the first time, particularly if we achieve the desired outcome, the fear will slowly disappear. It is also essential to admit the things that led to the mistake. If it was largely your doing, vow to change your lifestyle. An accountability partner can assist you along the way. Taking responsibility for those errors isn't always easy, but it's important. You'll be able to forgive yourself more easily and feel much more hopeful about the future if you can do that.

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