I have known the depths of pain, regret, desolation and the atrocious feeling of not being enough. You sink deeper into the abyss of self-doubt and plague yourself that life has no meaning left to sustain your being,

There is tiredness in your soul and your eyes have lost their spark, life feels all too heavy and the thoughts of giving up on yourself and life often transcends through our being, our younger self stares at us through the blankness of where we should have been and you know this pain would not go just by sleeping, or distracting yourself or talking to someone. The pain forges a void that you cannot fill, a hollowness of shallow breaths that are ceasing to toil, that can no longer strive to win the battle for just surviving, for being alive.

I know how empty and disgusting it feels when you work hard despite many hardships and the results are not meeting you or aligning with your directional stance. It is infuriating, baffling and mostly disheartening, as your pain cannot be understood by others. No matter what you say, they can only look at you through the lens of their perceptive glance. And sometimes, it is better to be alone rather than being the people who you have to over-explain every ounce of air that imbibes in your being.

I have tasted failures and setbacks far too many times in my life, so I propel myself to know the taste of stinging reality and the confounding anomalies of exasperated conundrums life puts us in where the light at the end of the tunnel feels like a mirage that running far away from us as if it is given that the doom will forever be a member at the doorstep of our existential bane.

How ecstatic it would be if everybody could see the naked truths of our suffering, acknowledging and empathizing with each other’s journey would be so much easier for us. But we live in a world where sadly even if we share our pain, most of them would either tell us to stop overplaying and overagonise over it or much rather turn a blind eye.

It is so frivolous and easy to say think positive, stop overthinking, get to work, and go out there, the world is your oyster. I know these are all notions that hold optimistic tonalites. But would you tell a person whose hand has been cut and is bleeding profusely to be optimistic, don't overthink or you are hyperventilating on your sorrows, no right!

Conversely, when it is an emotional or inner wound, we often dismiss it, and more often than not we are left unheard, or we are called incompetent. And when the world around us seems to be so harsh, especially during the times when we need kindness, we are treated with dismay, with words that often render a wound so deep that it may take forever to recover.

If you relate to all of the things expressed above, I want to tell you that I am sorry. I am so sorry that you didn't have people who would understand you, who would embrace you with the most tender touch and tell you that your mistakes, setbacks, missing an opportunity, not clearing a test, and not being able to perform better doesn't make you a failure. Your worth is not tied to how much you achieve or how well can you hold your shit together or how flawless you are.

You are worthy of love, respect, kindness, empathy and all the beautiful things just as the way you are. But if no one else is there for you, I hope you are there for yourself. I hope you make a home within yourself, that belies to be so rooted in compassion and love for yourself, that any time you did not get what you expected or miserably erred at something, you can come back to yourself.

I hope when the world around you is throwing daggered syllables of venomous taunts at you, you remember that no matter what anyone else tells you, your words to yourself are words of love and deep affection for yourself. Because no one has lived your life, faced the inner dialogue of your constant critic, gone through your trauma or pulled you out of a dark place, it has been you and will always be you. So please do not treat yourself poorly just because you think you are not where you thought you would be.

Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day very soon the sun will shine bright and the constant voice that echoes in your mind and tells you that you are a failure or the hollow that seems to be infinite or other people’s words will have no power over you. You will smile with the brightest eyes brimming with hope, you will have the career, the money, the love, the life that you always dreamt of and you will finally realise how important it was for all the setbacks and detours to happen because they directed you to who you were always meant to be.

So while you are here reading this with tears in your eyes or sadness in your chest, if hope you know that you will have everything you yearn for to come true, but while you are in the here and the now, let's celebrate how far you have come and how beautiful you are in your radiance.

Smile, I know you want to;)

I hope all the things you wish for become your life’s favourite part,

May you always remember that the universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart.

.    .    .