I turned 24 with more questions than answers. There are days I feel like a failure, and days I’m just holding on to my dear life like a thread. This article was born from one such moment—when I didn’t want to give up but didn’t know how to go on either.

I’ve always been afraid of relationships. Not because I don’t believe in love, but because I fear ending up with someone whose energy doesn’t match mine. But recently, I told myself—what if I stop waiting for someone to bring me happiness? What if I start making the ordinary life a little more beautiful, on my own terms?

And if someday a good partner enters my life, he can join me in this little life I’ve built. If he doesn’t, I’ll still be living a life I love. 

Even if it’s a false hope—it is still hope. And sometimes, hope is enough.

Here’s a tip: Create a dopamine menu on an A4 sheet. Label it with headings like "Starter," "Lunch," "Side Dish," and so on. For example, "Lunch" could represent activities that take about two hours. You have the creative freedom to fill in as many points as you like. Keep the copy with you at all times. Whenever you're unsure of what to do next, instead of mindlessly scrolling, refer to your menu. This way, you’ll spend quality time on things you truly love or even learn something new. Plus, by writing it down, you'll discover what truly excites you.

Why a Dopamine Menu Matters?

1. Brings real joy, not just distraction: It replaces mindless scrolling or bingeing with activities that genuinely uplift and restore you.
2. Helps you know what truly makes you happy.
3. Adds calm to chaos: In moments of overwhelm, it becomes your go-to list for grounding and self-connection.
4. Saves mental energy: No need to think twice—just pick from a list your best self already made.
5. Supports emotional balance: It offers healthy ways to cope with tough moods—without suppressing what you feel.

How to Create Your Own Dopamine Menu?

A dopamine menu is a personal list of activities that bring you calm, joy, and presence—without draining your energy or attention. It’s your rescue kit for dull days, restless moods, or even moments of joy when you want to soak in the good.

You don’t need to follow a strict format. Think of it like designing your own feel-good menu—with categories like:

• Starters (quick 5–15 minute uplifts)
• Main Course (deeply fulfilling activities) Deeper, more immersive activities that need 1–2 hours.
• Side Dishes (gentle in-betweeners)Balanced activities—neither too light nor too intense—take around 30–45 minutes
• Desserts: Pure joy. No reason. These have no fixed time
• A “Crisis List” for emotional emergencies

How to Begin?

• Reflect on what makes you feel alive: Think back to moments when you felt peaceful, light, or quietly joyful. What were you doing? Who were you with? What senses were involved?
• Divide activities by time or energy: Some actions are quick pick-me-ups. Others need more time or emotional space. Group them based on how they feel—not how productive they are.
• Keep it authentic: It’s about feeling more you. Include silly, nostalgic, creative, or comforting things—whatever makes your heart soften.
• Start small: Even if you begin with 3-4 items per category, that’s enough. You can always add more over time.

A Few Sample Ideas

• Starter: Light a candle. Play a calming song. Stretch your arms.
• Main Course: Paint something abstract. Go on a walk without your phone.
• Side Dish: Rearrange your books. Watch an inspiring TED Talk.
• Dessert: Watch clouds. Drink hot chocolate in bed.
• Crisis List: Hug a blanket. Listen to your comfort playlist. Text someone kind.

Let It Be Yours

No two dopamine menus will ever look the same—and that’s the beauty of it. Make it playful. Make it visual. Stick it somewhere you'll see. And when the world feels too much, come back to it like a soft landing place.

This method has really worked for me. I've started by Categorizing my daily, weekly, and monthly goals, focusing first on understanding myself more deeply. Once I have a clearer sense of who I am and what truly matters to me, I can then create a dopamine menu that aligns with my needs and desires. I feel this approach will be even more effective. Setting clear targets has made the process more engaging and achievable. It’s about being creative and making it your own. Ultimately, live by your own rules and design a life that truly resonates with you.

I think before you be yourself, you should know yourself..

So, I made a list. Not a grand bucket list, but a gentle guide to living—not just surviving. These are small rituals I want to embrace, not out of discipline, but out of love for my own existence.

Weekly rituals to hold myself together

To stay grounded and keep anxiety and sadness away, I decided to follow these simple, soul-soothing rituals every week:

• Watch one movie—any genre that lifts me.
• Clean one room—decluttering outside helps declutter inside.
• Wash my clothes—there's peace in mundane tasks.
• Play a game offline- with neighbors, colleagues, friends or families
• Write one article—because my words are my healing.
• Treat myself—cook something or order my favorite food.
• Follow a skincare and hair care routine—mask the stress, literally.
• Try a new recipe—cooking something new feels like creating joy.
• Sing a song—recorded, with background music, just for me.
• Visit a nearby temple—spend 20-30 minutes in quiet reflection.
• Nature Time—Spend time in a park, walk barefoot on the grass, or watch the sunset. A small moment in nature can be incredibly grounding.
• Call or Voice Message a Friend—Stay connected with the people who matter. Even a quick 2-minute voice note can remind us of the love we share.
• Read My Old Articles—To remind myself of the journey I’ve walked and follow the advice I give.

Even if I sing off-key or play chess terribly, I still deserve a life that feels like home.

Monthly Traditions to Celebrate with Myself

Every month, I want to reconnect with the woman I’m becoming:

Go on a solo date -me, myself, and I.

• Read one book—let stories whisper wisdom.
• Take a hot water bath during periods—soft self-care.
• Treat myself when I have periods. Like eating chocolate milk shake..
• Volunteer—give without expecting.
• Learn a new skill—pottery, tailoring, anything soulful.
• Meet cousins—share laughs, stories, warmth.
• Explore nearby places or where u live. Like just 2-3 hrs travel to reach that place..
• Financial Self-Care: Track your expenses, save a small amount, or invest a little in your future self.
• Digital Declutter: Clean your phone gallery, delete unnecessary files or organize your laptop.
• Go on a night bike ride and grab a late-night tasty dish—just to breathe in the night air.
• Paint one drawing—let my creativity flow.
• Blind fold myself- spend 30 mins like that to feel grateful for my eyes.

I’ve realized that minding my own business is the most peaceful gift I can give myself!

Daily Rituals That Keep Me Present

A Simple Daily Ritual for Growth

Every day, I believe we should pause and choose to grow—just a little. Not through grand gestures, but through small acts that stretch us gently beyond our comfort zones.

1. Do One Uncomfortable Thing

It doesn't have to be something monumental—like moving mountains. Sometimes, the real challenge lies in simple yet emotionally difficult actions.

Like talking to a friend we once fought with, where a gap slowly grew between us. The act of reaching out might be easy in action, but deeply uncomfortable in feeling. And that’s exactly where growth begins—in those moments we’d rather avoid, but choose to face anyway.

2. Write Down What You're Grateful For

Gratitude grounds us. No matter how chaotic life feels, there's always something to be thankful for—a kind word, a peaceful moment, or simply the strength to keep going.

3. Write One Thing You Wish to Change in Yourself

Growth begins with awareness. Each day, reflect on one thing you'd like to change—be it impatience, overthinking, or self-doubt. Acknowledge it, and take a small step toward becoming better.

Because at the end of the day, we cannot always control outcomes. But we can control our actions. And that, I believe, is where our real power lies.

In the chaos of everyday life, these small acts keep me grounded:

• Listen to something philosophical while walking.
• Play a song while doing chores or commuting.
• Play one chess game—a small challenge daily.
•  Journal—pour out my heart without fear.
• Walk for 15 minutes—breathe, be present.
• Have fruit or juice for breakfast—simple nourishment.
• Avoid mindless scrolling—detox the mind.
• Sweep the floor—feel refreshed.
• Wake up at 4 AM, take a short nap at noon, and sleep early—balance my energy.
• Water some plants or feed an animal—nourish life in its simplest form.
• Gratitude Practice -Write 3 things you're grateful for before bed. It shifts the focus from what's lacking to what’s present.
• Create a to-do list and try to follow it—not for pressure, but for purpose.
• Screen-Free Hour :certain time frame without screens to truly be present—with a book, your thoughts, or just music.
• Eat atleast one meal mindfully without any distraction..
• Read the newspaper, at least the editorial page.
• Take 15 minutes to do absolutely nothing. In a time where we chase dopamine through endless scrolling, we often forget the beauty of stillness. Embrace boredom as an opportunity for peace and quiet reflection.
• Learn a language on Duolingo for 15 minutes—keep my mind engaged in something new.
• Stay updated on current affairs while preparing for exams.Even if I clear the exam and secure a job, I wish to continue this journey of staying informed throughout my life. Being aware of what’s happening in the world is essential. I could watch TV news, but I dislike it—too much focus on TRP ratings and sensationalized stories. Instead, I’ve decided to follow a current affairs channel that aligns with my values, and I’ll stick with it forever.

There are things I’m doing voluntarily, even when they make me uncomfortable. I’ve realized that discipline is key. We should follow through on what we set for ourselves and stay focused on our own path. It's not just about staying busy—it's about growing and evolving. True happiness comes from this growth, and without it, happiness can eventually fade. To stay interesting in a world where being average is easy, we must keep challenging ourselves and pushing beyond what’s comfortable.

Some Dreams I Still Hold Close

• I wish to Watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Modern Family—series
• Travel to other states twice a year; other countries once a year—
• Dress like my favorite movie characters—simple yet expressive.
• Read two novels written by my friend—honoring their creativity and supporting their passion.
• See Northern Lights someday
• Touch an elephant’s thumbikai, see a dolphin, and experience the magic of nature like in the scene from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story— in one song where the hero and heroine stand next to lions. I dream of a similar moment, where I’m close to a lion, feeling the wild energy of such majestic creatures.
• Try bungee jumping—just once in my lifetime, for that thrilling rush.
• Take my first flight—I've never travelled by air, but I dream of the day I can.
• Spend a whole day without talking, just observing.
• Sleep under the stars—in a tent, on a terrace, or anywhere safe and quiet.
• Sit near a bonfire and share stories—old-school warmth and connection.
• Go on a long train journey with nothing but a book and music—the slow kind of travel.
• Celebrate your birthday alone with candles, cake, and quiet joy.
• Be a voice artist for a day—even if it’s a small role, I want to give my best.
• Go on a trekking adventure.
• I like to Wear partha (a traditional Muslim garment) follow and prank my best friends.
• I wish to be a saleswoman someday, and experience every job—from being a sweet vendor to a detective. I want to immerse myself in different roles, just for the joy of understanding what it feels like in their shoes.
• Have meaningful conversations with a range of unique personalities—from accomplished figures to people with vastly different lives: intelligent minds, actors, beggars, handicapped individuals, even serial killers or psychopaths. I want to learn from their stories without being hurted by the process.
• Experiment with different looks and costumes—make myself up like a goddess, transform into a beggar or a queen, and explore how I would appear in various states and cultures, from every corner of the world.
• Experience snowfall for the first time – catch a snowflake, lie in it, or just watch it fall.
• Be part of a protest or social movement – something you believe in deeply.
•  Attend a live music concert of your favorite artist – feel the sound with the crowd.
• I dream of playing a quiet little game—just me and the pink bus. In Tamil Nadu, there’s a special pink bus that rides free for women. On days when it all gets too much, I imagine myself hopping onto the first pink bus I see, sitting by the window with my headphones on, letting the music drown out the world. I won’t ask where it’s going—I’ll just go wherever it takes me. And when it stops, if I see another pink bus waiting, I’ll get on that one too. Window seat again, music again. No talking. No destination. Just the soft rhythm of the road, the wind against my face, and the quiet promise that I’ll eventually find my way back. Maybe not to a place, but to a feeling. A little more peaceful. A little more me.
• As I said earlier I love to travel , if I find myself drawn to strangers— If I feel a certain warmth in the conversation, I’d like to gently hand them a small diary and invite them to answer a few questions. Simple, honest ones like: What’s one life lesson you had to learn the hard way? or If you could tell your younger self just one thing, what would it be? or even What’s a dream you haven’t given up on—and why? They’d have the chance to read what others wrote too, like a quiet exchange of souls. And if they wish to stay in touch, they can leave their Instagram ID at the end. Just a little way of reminding each other that we’re all carrying stories—and sometimes, sharing them lightens the load.

I have so many wishes, but not enough time to fulfil them all. However, I can still make some of them come true on my own. I regret that so much of my time has been spent mindlessly scrolling, but what’s done is done. From now on, I promise myself that I will stop scrolling and start living intentionally. The time I spend will no longer be wasted—it will be filled with purpose, whether it’s learning, creating, or simply being present.

"If it makes happy it doesn't have to make sense to others"

We may not get forever, but we do get today—and that’s enough. Life is short, and in a world always chasing more, there’s something quietly powerful about choosing less and living it fully. Not every life needs to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes, the deepest joy lives in the ordinary days we learn to love.

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

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