“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages”

This line is from William Shakespeare’s play “As You Like It” where in this particular part he compares life with a play and men living their lives with characters playing their part. Now, as a character plays multiple parts, similarly, men have multiple stages in life. William states that these stages are seven in number which are infancy, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childishness that are representation of newborn, toddler, teenage, young adulthood, adulthood, old age and extreme old age. Now in this particular play we can experience a beautiful representation of each phase.

Young Adulthood a phase that usually starts by the ending of teenage and can lasts upto the beginning of middle age (18 years-30 years) is represented as a phase where the character plays the role of a soldier. This phase often marks some intense characteristics like ambitious, bold, idealistic, competitive and this age lets the person dive into self-discovery and be encouraged to take risky paths and learn from mistakes. 

“Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth.”
The Soldier (4th Age) — From As You Like It by William Shakesphere, Act II, Scene VII.

In Young Adulthood a person is usually living a fearless experimental life in which he’s ready to take risks, getting failures and to learn from mistakes so that he can develop as a more refined and mature person. This age can be marked as a foundation of his upcoming life. In this age a person undergoes intense emotional changes and he tries to control them or at least tries to learn how to control them. He invests his energy in the art of self discovery by exploring his surroundings. Regardless of what the gender is, and the background of a person, Young adulthood often starts with confusion and restlessness. Being unsure about identity and goals and feeling lost is something which is absolutely normal in this age and this creates a restlessness in this person and he feels like he's supposed to know it all. To ease the restlessness he starts exploring by trying different things. Having multiple career changes, making and breaking friendship bonds, tries obtaining various styles to match with his constantly evolving personality and he usually acquires different beliefs to set a boundary for himself. That person tries, gets failures and then tries another thing by learning from previous failures.

This experimental life further leads to some negative qualities such as comparison and doubt. The person usually looks at others and feels like “they are ahead, I’m back”, “maybe everyone is better than me” etc. At this moment even social media, peer influence and pressure from family can also trigger similar emotions. This particular phase of young adulthood can be heavy and often most of the young adults got severely affected by this but also this is the phase that ignites the light of deep searching and can also motivates a person to push the boundaries upto a more deeper level. When the person pulls himself back from the disturbing noise and distractions and isolates himself to sit and think quietly, “What actually matters to me?” Then a person often turns to healthy activities such as journaling, book reading and solo travelling that allows to cleanse the energy and spend some quality time with oneself without any external influence. This temporary withdrawal from society allows that person to make a more well defined and balanced relationship with the society which is the most necessary thing to do in a life as this relationship only will shape the future of that individual. At this phase the person starts discarding others' expectations and begins to align his own personal beliefs and values with life. The concept of freedom, stability and creativity is clear to him which are enough to begin the realisation process of his actual core values and awakening of them respectively.

By this time, that person is still under learning process but he’s no longer lost. He has formed an identity and is comfortable under his own skin. Now his life will begin building on personal truths. His lifestyle, career and friendships will be more defined and selective. He will not look up for the approval from others because he will be having a deeper purpose to live with such as “I want to live like this, for this.” That person has accepted himself and now is ready to live an authentic life which can’t be always perfect but real. Again self discovery is a lifelong learning process but it’s origin has to start in young adulthood so that eventually it can clear the confusion and feelings of being lost.

In Asian countries or other underdeveloped countries, where people live a conservative life, Young adulthood is usually neglected. After teenage they expect the person to be mature, able to handle responsibilities and to be decisive so that he should not commit mistakes otherwise that person will be portrayed as a failure in their society. This is one of the deepest inner battles young adults of these countries silently face which is gradually damaging the core values, emotional well being and the identity of youth. Exploring options is seen as having no goal, trying and failing is seen as being a constant failure and temporary withdrawal from society is seen as having no determination to live life. With such a toxic environment that person is forced to live a so-called perfect, stable and responsible life at the time when he was supposed to learn new things for self discovery. Confusion in the early stages of young adulthood is normal but when a person’s life becomes a performance instead of a journey he tries to fake confidence and hides the confusion. He starts feeling disconnected from himself because he’s living to become what others want him to be instead of what he actually is. Imagine being struck in life which is not yours, that’s the kind of life these young adults live. Excitement of learning new things and self discovery got replaced with fear of failing. Then a person instead of choosing the exciting path, chooses the safer one or the easiest one. And with that easy course or that small job role, the real passion and patience dies somewhere inside. Because that person was not even able to try a new thing because of a thought of “what will others think?” His thoughts never got the fulfillment and the exhaustion leads to anxiety and guilt. There’s not a single safe place where they can go to cry or admit that “I don’t know what’s wrong.” They are forced to hold the responsibilities even before they are ready and the constant pressure to look stable leads to emotional overwhelmness that can make a person feel like they are crumbling inside.

When identity fades, resentment settles and the person becomes bitter. Not because he’s weak but he’s suffocated. His true values of freedom and expression no longer exist and the dreams got sacrificed for the sake of security. And then by the 30’s or 40’s people realized “ I never actually lived for myself”. But at this time they can’t escape from their responsibilities.

A person should be allowed to live a healthy life without any pressure. Young adulthood is a crucial phase which cannot be neglected or else it will ruin our youth or one day we will be having a population who never lived a fulfilled life. We have to normalise making mistakes without having any shame, we have to allow life exploration without any judgement and a person must have responsibilities but a responsibility should never be big enough to hinder the freedom of that person. Young adults need a healthy environment, and they deserve it.

“When your soul is still becoming, don’t force it to settle.”

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