Ask society what goes on in a woman’s head, and that’s pretty much the standard answer. As if we’ve got an iPod there constantly telling us about Sephora samples and sale alerts. And you know what? That wouldn’t even be entirely wrong. But that’s the beauty of being a woman. We can think about lip liner shades and Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Medium all day, and also casually solve moral philosophy dilemmas while walking to brunch. Multitasking is our birthright.
The thing is, our minds are not pink-washed voids echoing with shopping lists and “What should I wear?”. We’re also out here thinking about politics, inflation, science, Formula 1, the stock market (well... some of us), war crimes. But the second we step into “masculine territory,” we suddenly need to submit a full dissertation to prove we belong. Like, God forbid a woman says she likes football, suddenly she has to explain the offside rule in excruciating detail, or she’s just doing it to impress a man named Aryan who plays FIFA on PS5 and thinks he’s Pep Guardiola.
It’s exhausting. It’s absurd. And it’s kind of funny if you think about it how we have to earn our interests while men just... have them by default. People just accept their interests not digging deeper for proof. Imagine being quizzed on your authenticity every time you liked something outside the Barbie dream house box you were placed in. Newsflash: liking cute bags and caring about climate policy are not mutually exclusive. You can be soft, sparkly, and smarter than the entire group chat combined. Welcome to the era of the emotionally intelligent, intellectual, and aesthetically glowing woman, who is embracing their femininity and is moving forward in life faster than men can comprehend.
Take Elle Woods, for example. Harvard Law student. Graduation speaker. Icon. Legend. She got a 179 on her LSATs and looked cute doing it. But before all that? She was treated as a joke. Too blonde, too bubbly, too into fashion to be taken seriously in a courtroom. Because how could a girl who knows the difference between eggshell and ivory possibly know anything about legal precedent?
This is what we mean when we talk about how femininity, softness, and prettiness are automatically used to calculate your intellectual comprehension. The more traditionally feminine you are, the less capable you're assumed to be. Wear black blazers and speak Microsoft fluently? Genius. Wear pink and speak with emotion? Airhead. And Elle proved that’s nonsense. She didn’t tone herself down to be respected. She just brought her pink, scented resume and her entire unapologetic self straight through Harvard’s intimidating mahogany doors and crushed it because of who she was, not despite it.
It's like a scale to calculate intelligence. The more masculine, emotionless, and non-reactive you are to things, the smarter and logical you are perceived. And oh, let’s not forget the classic: the moment a woman shows any kind of emotion, the immediate assumption is that she’s PMSing. It’s like, “Oh, are you sure you’re just upset about this argument, or is it that time of the month?” So, the emotional intelligence that we have, intuitive, complex, and often spot on, is immediately dismissed as “hormonal.” As if having feelings is an automatic sign of weakness or irrationality. Like, God forbid a woman has feelings. But let’s be clear, being emotional doesn’t mean being out of control. It just means we feel things deeply and unapologetically, without needing to justify ourselves. And yes, sometimes that emotion has nothing to do with the time of the month. It has everything to do with being a human being who happens to care about things.
And that’s the thing. Softness isn't the opposite of intelligence. It's a different kind. It’s a kind that’s intuitive. Observant. It reads between the lines, not just the headlines. It knows how to walk into a boardroom and notice who’s being interrupted, who’s not speaking up, who’s faking confidence, and who’s listening. That kind of intelligence doesn’t always wear a suit. Sometimes, it wears blush. It is a fact that men and women are biologically different. Our minds work differently from men's.
The way we measure intelligence needs a serious makeover. You can't judge everyone using the same tired metrics, like how fast they can quote political stats or solve a math equation. People grow through different experiences. The lessons they learn from heartbreaks, homes, careers, quiet moments, and chaos are what make someone truly smart. Just because a woman isn’t into politics doesn’t mean she’s unintelligent. Maybe she simply doesn't care to debate the budget. The same way most men aren’t into makeup or jewellery, and no one’s out here calling them dumb for not knowing the difference between highlighter and concealer.
It’s not about what you know, it’s about what you care to know. If you want to understand someone’s mind, don’t ask, “How much horsepower does a Supra have?” Ask them about what lights them up. Their weird little obsessions. Their pain. Their joy. Listen to them when they talk about something they love. That’s where intelligence lives in curiosity, not categories. People don’t become wise because they memorize the news; they become wise because they’ve lived. They’ve felt heartbreaks, built homes, quit jobs, started over, sat in silence, and thrived in chaos. That’s the kind of stuff no IQ test can score. Intelligence isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s pink, glossy, and hiding behind a perfectly winged eyeliner. And that’s still smart. Very smart.
So yeah, we can scroll through Pinterest for outfit ideas and scroll through Reddit threads on quantum theory. We can cry during rom-coms and write persuasive essays about outdated gender norms. We can post selfies in pink lighting and run a business, build an app, write a novel, or yes, win a court case using haircare science as evidence. The point is: the brain doesn’t stop working because the outfit is cute, or makeup is on point, even though we all have a serious case of blush blindness.