Nope, not love. Not food. Not Instagram reels. I’m talking about potty. Haan haan, potty, sandaas, latrine, susu-bathroom combo. The thing we all do, every day (hopefully), but no one wants to admit.

If there were a Nobel Prize for "Most Important Yet Ignored Bodily Function," potty would win it every single year.

A good potty in the morning is basically a blessing from above. It sets the mood for the entire day.

Imagine waking up, birds chirping, chai brewing, and accha weather, and then… potty nahi aayi. Suddenly, the world seems darker. You walk around with a ghussa that even your mummy can’t match. You snap at everyone, your chai tastes like betrayal, and every little thing annoys you.

And we can’t even let them know that the reason is potty, so we just say “yaar mood kharab hai bas”

Basically, agar potty nahi aayi, toh khushi bhi nahi aayi.

Our ancestors might’ve said, “Subah ka waqt sona hota hai,” but they forgot to add, “Aur potty hona aur bhi zaroori hota hai.”

Potty na aane se we feel bloated. You're walking like a time bomb, ready to explode. Your colleagues think you’re angry. But no—it’s just internal pressure building up. One wrong sneeze and pfffftttt, you’ve gotta attend nature’s call.

Let’s not sugarcoat this. Jab potty nahi hoti, gas ka aana pakka. Every 10 minutes, there’s a small earthquake happening in your tummy. And then comes the “silent-but-deadly” phase. Hiroshima aur Nagasaki se bhi khatarnak and badbudaar padam paad.

You're sitting in a meeting, and suddenly—phissssss. You pretend nothing happened while everyone in the room is making that face, trying to find out who did this, and you’re trying your best so they won’t suspect you.

Farts are nature’s way of telling you, “Bhai, kuch toh nikalne de!”

Lekin, why are we embarrassed to talk about potty?

Let’s face it—talking about potty is taboo. People will openly discuss politics, breakups, and even their Pani Puri addiction. But potty? “Haww, that’s so gross!”

Gross? Bhai, yeh toh daily routine hai! Why are we ashamed of something that keeps us healthy?

Kids say it openly—“Mummy potty aayi!” But adults? We’ll die of acidity, but won’t admit we need to go. Instead, we say things like:

“I’m just freshening up.”

“I’ll be back in five.”

“Nature’s call, bro.”

And not just that, we even ask our kids to replace the words potty and susu with words like...

1 number = susu

2 number = potty

Arre bhai, just say “potty jaa raha hoon,” what’s the big deal?

Everyone goes through this, even celebrities (jisko aap idealize karthe hai)

Just imagine Ranveer Singh yelling, “AREY BHAIYA! SAFAI KAHAN HAI!” in a toilet

Or Alia Bhatt whispering to her assistant, “Can you find a clean bathroom? I really need to go.”

They might have luxury washrooms, but unki potty bhi normal hi hoti hai. No one is above the potty gods. Rich, poor, celebrity, commoner—we all sit on the same throne (well, kind of).

Potty is a heavenly thing, lekin apne Indian toilets won’t let us enjoy this, mainly INDIAN RAILWAY KE TOILETS, because doing potty or even susu in Indian Railways is a bravery thing.

Kyonki badbudaar and hilthe dulthe train mai apna shot lagana is a skill for real. The moment you step inside, there’s a “what the hell” expression on your face.

There are three possibilities:

• The squat toilet: You try to make your shot in the hole. The train jerks. You slip. Now your entire potty plan is off track.
• The western toilet: Already suspiciously moist. Who did this? What did they eat? Why is there paan on the flush handle!?
• The no-water nightmare: You’ve committed. You’re in the position. And then… no paani. Ab kya karein? Use your towel? Cry quietly? Contemplate life?

And don’t even get me started on that terrifying metal sound when something falls into the abyss. “Gada gada gadaaaa.” It’s like the potty is going straight to another dimension.

And then comes that metal mug, which is tied, taaki chori na ho sake.

I mean like sir, I won’t steal that mug which is already dirty, has other susu on it, atleast don’t keep it chained like this, it doesn’t even reach till us.

Indian railways makes sure that koi nuksaan nah o jaaye.

Potty ke saare maze luta dete hai.

Now, some serious gyaan (just for a minute, I promise). Doctors say your potty can tell you a lot about your health. If it’s too hard, maybe you’re not drinking enough water. If it’s too loose, maybe avoid that street-side momo bhaiya tonight.

“Potty dekh kar jaaniye apni tabiyat.” It’s like your body’s report card. But unlike your school results, you can check this every day, for free.

And if you’re not pooping daily? That’s not normal. Bloating, fatigue, and even skin issues can be caused by not clearing your bowels. So next time someone says, “Tu ajeeb kyun behave kar raha hai?”, just say, “Potty nahi hui bro.”

Potty Tips for a Happy Life (Seriously)

Since we’ve opened the sandaas ka pitara, here are some legit tips:

• Drink warm water in the morning – Dadi maa ki tested technique.
• Eat fibre – Isabgol, bananas, papaya… they’re your real friends.
• Poop Schedule – Try to go at the same time daily. Train your potty like a loyal dog.
• Squat for glory – Western toilets are cool, but squatting is king.
• Never ignore the urge – Holding it in is like holding in a sneeze. Not worth it.

Let’s Start the Potty Revolution?

It’s 2025. We’ve landed spacecraft on the moon. We’re building robots to clean houses. But we’re still whispering “mujhe potty aayi hai” like it's a crime.

Why?

Aren't girls no longer shy talking about periods in front of everybody? Why are we still shy to talk about potty? Just because it smells disgusting? How judgmental!!

Let’s make it cool to talk about potty. Let’s not shy away from asking, “Tu aaj potty gaya kya?” Because sometimes, that’s more important than asking, “Tu thik hai na?”

Kyonki kya pata bhaisaahab ka thik na hona is because of not going to the potty

Imagine a world where:

Workplaces have signs: “Employees who poop together, succeed together.”

Dates begin with: “Hi, I had a great poop today. You?”

Hospitals ask: “Blood group? Potty status?”

And jaaneman asks: “Babu aaj aapko potty aaya?”

Swachh Bharat starts with Swachh pet. And swachh pet starts with a good potty.

AND GOOD POTTY KE LIYE EAT HEALTHY HEALTHY “kyonki pet swachh rahega toh hi aap swachh rahoge”

Final Thoughts (Aur Ek Aakhri paad)

Potty isn’t just a body function—it’s a lifestyle. A daily detox. A pressure release. A moment of reflection. (especially if you forgot to bring your phone in). EUPHORIA

So next time you feel that sweet morning urge, don’t ignore it. Cherish it. Respect it. Celebrate it.

Because in the end, a day without potty is like Maggi without masala—incomplete, confusing, and a bit painful.

Jai potty, jai swachhta.

उत्तमम दधददात पादम,

मध्यम पादम थुचुक थुचुक,

घनिष्ठः थुड़थुडी पादम,

सुरसुरी प्राण घातकम|

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