I should’ve worked harder in school, should’ve gotten more GPA in college, should’ve applied for that job, should’ve asked that person out, should’ve taken good care of my parents, should’ve been a better friend, should’ve started that business, should’ve started hitting the gym, should’ve studied for that exam, should’ve published that book, should’ve wrote that poetry, should’ve this, should’ve that, should’ve, should’ve, should’ve..

Did any of that ring a bell? Did any of that sound like YOU? No? None of it?! Well, consider yourself lucky, for you’re the anomaly, a glitch in the matrix. Because a vast majority of the people have certainly found themselves at some point in their lives, wondering.. “What if?” What if I had started earlier and done this better, or knew before what I do now, could things have gone a different way?

Fixation With Fixing Things

People aren’t completely wrong to reminisce about past events, wishing they could end things on a better note. It’s human nature to do so. People want things to go their way, they want their plans to work out, they wish to be certain regarding future events, and they like to be in control. And somehow, when that doesn’t happen, the desire to wonder if it’s too late to fix things takes over them.

Perhaps what the masses need to realize and understand is- what’s done is done. No point in crying over spilled milk. Surely the wound is open, and even if it’s healed, the scar still remains. A series of events in your life that you wish had ended differently, and you’d do anything to go back in time and make amends.

But here’s the catch- There’s no going back anymore. The creator of this universe doesn’t permit humans (or anyone, for that matter) to fiddle with the fabric of time. It’s unidirectional. Always was, always will be. You can’t go back and change things for the better. And even if you could, no certainty that doing so would necessarily alter the events of your life, and it would be all peaches and cream.

Theory vs Practice

But that’s not how things work. Life isn’t some video game that enables you to access multiple lives so that in case anything goes wrong, you can always clean the mess on the second try. Nope. That doesn’t quite happen here. The passage of time is linear. And it only moves in one direction- forwards. There’s no going back, once the clock starts ticking. Many men spend a lifetime avoiding life. They’re still too tied up with their fantasy of fixing things that can not be fixed. Still too busy wondering “What if..?” than actually trying to move on and live the rest of their lives to the best of their capabilities.

Benjamin Franklin famously said,” Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75.” Perhaps he was pointing at the people who live in the past more than they do in the present. Sadly, there is no scarcity of people who dwell in a place that simply no longer exists, who tend to go back to the places and people that hurt them. One can find such people from all walks of life- be it kings or commoners. And if we put enough thought into it, this desire only shows us we all have bounds and limits, that at the end of the day, we’re all just humans.

Start Again or Keep Re-Living The Pain

What’s the alternative? With all this pain in one’s heart and guilt in one’s eyes, where should the broken people go? Well, they should undergo a metamorphosis. Genuinely realize that the past is gone, and although it can not be erased, there are things that one can certainly learn from one’s actions and try not to repeat them. Start today, and immerse yourself in some meaningful, notable deed, and pick some responsibility. Pick it, and dedicate all your heart to a cause you deem as noble, and you’ll start noticing that the meaning of life that seemed to have been missing from yours has slowly started rolling back to it.

It’s not going to be easy, but it shall be worth it. You’ll free yourself from those mental shackles that have long held you back for no good reason. There’s more to life than not being able to crack an exam or not landing your dream job, or having a heartbreak. There’s more to life. YOU just need to clear your head and start walking with a new (and this time, with a better) mindset and approach things differently than you used to, earlier. And the sooner you do that, the sooner you’ll start to realise that perhaps the wound was never that deep to begin with. You were just experiencing things for the first time, and didn’t quite know how to deal with them- that’s all!

When you step out of your cute little comfort zone and meet new people, travel to new destinations, and experience novelty, you gain new perspectives and insights that weren’t available to you earlier, since you were busy playing it safe.

They say ‘Time is the best healer. While it may not be true in all cases, it certainly is in most of them. So stop victimizing yourself, stop wondering what could’ve been- because that will only drive you mad, end your obsession with fixing things that can’t be fixed, and start living life afresh, anew. You’ll start feeling better sooner than you expected.

And most importantly, never lose hope. Always keep that faith alive in your heart, burning bright, especially on the darkest of nights. As the late great theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking said,” While there is life, there is hope.”

Good Luck on this journey of yours. I hope you emerge victorious!

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