In today’s hyper-digital age, social media has positioned itself as the pulse of our lives—our source of news, entertainment, validation, and even livelihood. But beneath the glossy feeds, viral hashtags, and curated reels lies a sobering truth: social media is often pretentious, hypocritical, fake, and emotionally exhausting. What was once marketed as a tool for “connection” has, for many, become a catalyst for disconnection—from themselves, from reality, and from genuine human relationships.

The Pretentious Nature of Social Media

Scroll through Instagram, and you’ll see perfection: exotic vacations, meticulously plated meals, gym transformations, and endless reels of people living their “best lives.” What you rarely see are moments of loneliness, self-doubt, or failure. Life is messy, but social media edits out the mess, replacing it with filters and captions that often have little to do with reality.

The pretentiousness is not limited to influencers. Ordinary users also fall into the trap. Someone may post a happy couple photo minutes after a bitter argument, or showcase a new purchase despite financial stress. The platform becomes a stage, and life turns into a performance.

Even activism is often reduced to “performative wokeness.” Users change profile pictures or use hashtags for causes, but only for visibility. For instance, during global movements like #BlackLivesMatter or #MeToo, many jumped on the bandwagon without any real-world involvement. What matters more is being seen as socially conscious rather than actually engaging in change. This hypocrisy leaves social media not as a space of authenticity but of selective performance.

The Psychological Aftermath

The price of these illusions is paid by the psyche. Studies have shown that prolonged use of social media increases anxiety, depression, and loneliness. A 2018 University of Pennsylvania study concluded that limiting social media use to 30 minutes a day significantly reduced levels of anxiety and loneliness among participants.

Why? Because social media thrives on comparison. A young graduate may log onto LinkedIn and leave feeling inadequate after seeing peers posting about promotions or high-paying jobs. A mother scrolling through Facebook may question her parenting after seeing picture-perfect family photos. Teenagers, especially, are vulnerable; the obsession with likes and followers often shapes their self-worth.

Social media also creates what psychologists call “FOMO” (Fear of Missing Out). Watching others attend parties, travel, or succeed professionally can make individuals feel left behind—even if, in reality, their own lives are progressing well. The brain begins to crave constant updates, leading to compulsive checking of apps, ultimately exhausting the mind.

Another damaging consequence is the phenomenon of doomscrolling. Platforms’ algorithms prioritise shocking or negative content because it drives engagement. Users end up consuming a barrage of bad news, conspiracy theories, and polarized debates, which elevate stress levels and create an endless cycle of negativity.

The Case for Limited Use: Business and Promotion

Despite its downsides, social media cannot be written off completely. When used with intention, it is a powerful tool. Small businesses, freelancers, and startups rely on it for visibility and sales. A neighbourhood bakery can reach thousands through Instagram reels. An independent artist can use Twitter or YouTube to showcase talent without needing traditional gatekeepers.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many local businesses survived only because they could pivot online—selling through Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp. Without social media, survival would have been impossible for many.

The distinction is clear: when used as a professional tool for promotion, learning, or networking, social media adds value. The trouble begins when it shifts from tool to addiction, when scrolling replaces intention with compulsion.

The Real Cost: Sacrificing Human Connection

The biggest tragedy of social media is its silent erosion of real human connection. Dinner tables once filled with conversation are now dominated by screens. Friends may “like” each other’s posts but fail to meet for months. Relationships risk becoming shallow, reduced to emojis, GIFs, and short comments.

Consider this: you may know everything about your friend’s vacation through Instagram stories, yet nothing about their actual struggles, dreams, or fears because you never spoke to them in person.

Children are particularly affected. Instead of playing outdoors, many spend hours glued to screens, losing the joy of shared games and storytelling. Families that once bonded over evening conversations are now fragmented, each member lost in their digital world.

As Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together, points out: “We expect more from technology and less from each other.” That is the dangerous bargain we make when screens replace faces.

Additional Consequences That Often Go Unnoticed

• Erosion of Attention Span – Platforms designed for quick dopamine hits through likes and reels shorten attention spans, making it difficult for people to engage deeply with books, conversations, or creative pursuits
• Misinformation and Polarization – Social media is fertile ground for fake news, conspiracy theories, and echo chambers. What is presented as “truth” may be propaganda. This erodes trust and divides communities.
• Toxic Comparison Culture – Not just about wealth or beauty, but even about spirituality or lifestyle. For instance, wellness influencers present yoga or meditation as glamorous routines, ignoring the depth and discipline behind them.
• Sleep Disruption – Late-night scrolling is linked with insomnia, irregular sleep cycles, and fatigue, leading to long-term health issues.
• Addictive Design – Social platforms are intentionally built to be addictive. Infinite scroll, push notifications, and algorithmic feeds are not accidents—they are tools to keep you hooked.

Pros and Cons in Perspective

Pros:

• Networking and global reach
• Low-cost promotion for businesses
• Space for marginalised voices to be heard
• Educational resources and awareness campaigns
• Easy sharing of art, creativity, and ideas

Cons:

• Mental health deterioration (anxiety, depression, loneliness)
• Loss of real-life interactions and empathy
• Addiction and time wastage
• Misinformation and toxic polarization
• Decline in attention spans and productivity
• Unrealistic standards leading to self-esteem issues

Striking the Balance

So, should we quit social media entirely? Not necessarily. Like fire, it can warm or burn depending on how we use it. A healthier approach might include:

• Setting Boundaries – Limit screen time to specific hours.
• Purposeful Use – Use it primarily for learning, business, or genuine updates.
• Digital Detox – Regularly take breaks to reconnect with yourself.
• Real-Life Priorities – Invest in physical meetings, phone calls, or quality family time.
• Critical Awareness – Always question the authenticity of what you see online.

Social media promises connection but often delivers exhaustion. Its pretentious and performative culture leaves users drained, while its addictive design robs us of genuine presence in real-life relationships. While it has undeniable benefits for business and networking, we must resist the temptation to let it dictate our emotional well-being.

At the end of the day, human connection—the warmth of a shared laugh, the depth of an honest conversation, the comfort of sitting beside someone you care about—remains irreplaceable. A “like” is not love. A “comment” is not companionship. And a “follower” is not a friend.

We can scroll endlessly, but we will only find meaning when we look up from our screens and engage with the real, unfiltered world around us.

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