Photo by Александр: pexels

You said it was all in my head
when I braved you for being bloodless
but why did the flashes of memories
trailing down the hollows, say otherwise;
making me scratch on the scars
until my nails carved a castle of red
You said it is all in my head

when I confided in you
of the doubts and anxiety attacks
that kept me through the nights
but how did I always end up in places
I never knew existed ;
to places I had no intent going -
a city built on regrets and mistakes;
On fears and tears
You'll always say it's in my head

but I hope one day I can finally
scream back at you that it's not true ;
It was an easier route - being in denial
And letting the time do the work, 
Only that it was blunt knifing on wounds
To keep it from clawing back.
One day I'll be finally done 
being a bystander
In my own head. 

.    .    .